Falling out of love?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
I have been with my partner for 8 almost 9 months. I love him, so much. We have lived together for some months (in a student house) and it's fun and I have fun with him. Recently my love seems to be fading almost? I have been working and have a little less time. He sometimes makes me feel bad for working and not having as much time to spontaneously do things with him or anything. His mental health is declining for the first time in his life and im his main support system at this point. He doesn't seem to wanna help himself. This is extremely draining on my mental health at the moment. I feel lost and don't know how to help him which causes me to get depressed and anxious. I love him but recently my want for him to be romantic towards me (e.g touch) has lessened. He is my best friend and I would hate to lose him but part of me feels like im slowly beginning to feel less romantic love for him and more like best friend love? I think? im not even 100% sure how im feeling. Stuff in the bedroom is fine, im still attracted to him in that way lol. I just don't know what to do. IM so confused about my feelings. Maybe I need space? IM moving in September and we occasionally have conversations regarding the long-term and long-distance. He's said if long-distance was difficult he would look for a place for us and for some reason the idea of him moving with me scares me and makes me anxious and in my head im like "no please don't do that" its like part of me loves him so much and feels so strongly towards him and still wants the hugs and the kisses and the romantic feelings and then the other part of me is confused and doesn't feel the same level of love I once did and doesn't want him touching me romantically as much or at all. I just have no clue.
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Anonymous #2
#2
Report 1 month ago
#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
I have been with my partner for 8 almost 9 months. I love him, so much. We have lived together for some months (in a student house) and it's fun and I have fun with him. Recently my love seems to be fading almost? I have been working and have a little less time. He sometimes makes me feel bad for working and not having as much time to spontaneously do things with him or anything. His mental health is declining for the first time in his life and im his main support system at this point. He doesn't seem to wanna help himself. This is extremely draining on my mental health at the moment. I feel lost and don't know how to help him which causes me to get depressed and anxious. I love him but recently my want for him to be romantic towards me (e.g touch) has lessened. He is my best friend and I would hate to lose him but part of me feels like im slowly beginning to feel less romantic love for him and more like best friend love? I think? im not even 100% sure how im feeling. Stuff in the bedroom is fine, im still attracted to him in that way lol. I just don't know what to do. IM so confused about my feelings. Maybe I need space? IM moving in September and we occasionally have conversations regarding the long-term and long-distance. He's said if long-distance was difficult he would look for a place for us and for some reason the idea of him moving with me scares me and makes me anxious and in my head im like "no please don't do that" its like part of me loves him so much and feels so strongly towards him and still wants the hugs and the kisses and the romantic feelings and then the other part of me is confused and doesn't feel the same level of love I once did and doesn't want him touching me romantically as much or at all. I just have no clue.
Unfortunately you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves. This is one of the key factors with mental health.

To me, it sounds like you guys just haven’t had the time to be your usual selves, he needs to realise you working is important for your future, however, maybe you guys should take things a bit slower since you are living together at relatively short notice.

How about try go out for a couple meals at weekends or free evenings, give yourselves something to both dress up for and look forward to that you can be excited about together which may help to salvage things for you both. If you aren’t feeling the passion in the moment, maybe things just aren’t meant to be.

I’m no expert in love, but I know with my boyfriend we’ve had rough patches now and then, we both try to push through them with little advancements to keep the love strong, small unexpected gestures, small gifts, last minute date nights, movie nights, now again little things like this can really help.
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Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#3
(Original post by Anonymous)
Unfortunately you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves. This is one of the key factors with mental health.

To me, it sounds like you guys just haven’t had the time to be your usual selves, he needs to realise you working is important for your future, however, maybe you guys should take things a bit slower since you are living together at relatively short notice.

How about try go out for a couple meals at weekends or free evenings, give yourselves something to both dress up for and look forward to that you can be excited about together which may help to salvage things for you both. If you aren’t feeling the passion in the moment, maybe things just aren’t meant to be.

I’m no expert in love, but I know with my boyfriend we’ve had rough patches now and then, we both try to push through them with little advancements to keep the love strong, small unexpected gestures, small gifts, last minute date nights, movie nights, now again little things like this can really help.
Yeah like I would never live with someone this early on this is also both of our first relationships ever. I started living with him cos I don’t have a great home life and it was also convenient for work.
we do things together as often as we can and I love being around him and I don’t think anyone could treat me any better than he does but I can’t shake the feeling I’ve been having that I wanna leave the relationship
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