Breaking up a 5 year relationship

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
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I recently acknowledged that I'm in an emotionally abusive and toxic relationship. I want to leave but is it weird for me to wait until after my dissertation deadline? I'm already struggling to write my dissertation and I know that if I break up now it will make things worse and affect my dissertation.

On the other hand I'm finally slowly building the courage to leave but I know it will still hurt me a lot, which is why I want to wait until after my dissertation deadline so I can 'grieve' without the stress of a masters degree.

What do you think? Any advice/tips on leaving an (emotionally) abusive relationship? Would like to hear experiences of those of you who left an abusive relationship as well, as I'm scared that I will regret it (sounds dumb I know).
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1582
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If you know a relationship is ending, delaying the end isn't going to make it easier on you. It's just going to weigh on your mind and bring your mood down. I processed my last break-up before I even left the relationship because I left it too long to do so (well, mostly because she kept convincing me to stay) - got all the upset and misery out 6 weeks prior to even breaking up.

I'd suggest just ripping the plaster off and getting it over and done with. I'm also at the end of a masters degree, and it's what I would do if I was unhappy with my girlfriend (thankfully not, I adore that woman). A deadline can also be a great distraction.
Last edited by 1582; 1 month ago
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londonmyst
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Always trust your gut instinct and listen to what your common sense is telling you.
Put your ambitions and safety first.

Do you have access to savings, regular employment income & a strong support network who will support you efforts to end the abusive relationship and cut all contact with the toxic guy?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by londonmyst)
Always trust your gut instinct and listen to what your common sense is telling you.
Put your ambitions and safety first.

Do you have access to savings, regular employment income & a strong support network who will support you efforts to end the abusive relationship and cut all contact with the toxic guy?
so that's also why I just want to postpone it until my dissertation deadline, so it will give me the time to sort out these things. We live together now and I literally moved to the UK for him, so it will be quite complex. I just started therapy yesterday for the first time and my therapist wants to develop a safety plan with me in our next session. I guess I'll wait until next week at least to see how I feel after developing a safety plan with her.
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