I had an appointment w cahms and I wanted to postpone it to after-school so I asked my parents to tell them that, but they got pretty mad at my dad and were like "there's others on a waiting list for 6 months" and told my dad he should be more worried about my health and I feel so bad because my dad got shouted at because of me being dramatic, I should've just gone to it I'm so mad, I swear I don't recognise myself sometimes and I don't know why I do the things I do and
i'm just reluctant to go to my appointments because I'm not committed and I hate getting weighed like every week and I wanna discharge myself but I don't know how
idk why I missed it, I should've just gone but it's too late now and my cahms team hates me and they're so annoyed that they still have to do appointments with me and stuff I hate myself I don't know why im such a waste of time
I want to offer my place in treatment to someone who actually needs it but idk how to tell them that becuase my team will be so much happier when I'm gone because they'll be able to treat someone else who wants to cooperate
I'm so mad at myself I don't want to waste their time but I ended up wasting even more of their time idk what to do
I'm 17 so idk if I can discharge myself or get my parents to because OMFG so many other people need it much more than I do I hate myself