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Fed up of sex and uti’s but don’t want to lose my relationship

I’ve become fed of developing urine infections, Im prone to them and tend to feel rubbish with lots of stomach pain when I get them. It’s embarrassing to have to keep going off sick with it and it’s got to the point where I management are looking down on me and questioning my time off. When I go in though my job is non stop (in a hospital) it’s not like I am sat at home with a laptop and can get comfortable.

It’s also affecting my relationship with my bf. I’ve always been able to live quite happily without sex but obviously in a relationship you have to compromise so I’ve been having sex

However with the uti’s I just think that I’m going even more out of my way (since they only started since I began having sex) and I’m starting to resent it and secretly feel annoyed that I have to have it.

I don’t know what to do a relationship to me would be perfect without sex but in 99% of relationships it is expected
Do you pee after sex? I would try that if you don't, as well as washing the front. If you already do, tell your boyfriend that you just can't take any more time off work, so you don't want to have sex with him for the time being.
If it's causing you pain. Stop having sex. A relationship doesn't start to break down without sex, but if your bf wants to break up, then it's clear he isn't the one.
I would speak to your doctor about it as it isn’t normal for someone to get so many urine infections, though they are more common with sexually active females. In the meantime, maybe talk to your bf about having non penetrative sex for a while to give your body a break
Have you spoken to a doctor?
Original post by Wannabevetnurse
If it's causing you pain. Stop having sex. A relationship doesn't start to break down without sex, but if your bf wants to break up, then it's clear he isn't the one.


From my understanding sex is very important to men if they know they won’t be having it long term most will leave
Original post by girl_in_black
Have you spoken to a doctor?


Yes the most frequent advice I get is to drink plenty water. I was given antibiotics twice I haven’t been referred to a specialist or anything though
Original post by Anonymous
From my understanding sex is very important to men if they know they won’t be having it long term most will leave


It's not the most important thing. and if he leaves you, you dodged a bullet. Do you really want a relationship based on how much sex you give?
Original post by SagaciousSag
Do you pee after sex? I would try that if you don't, as well as washing the front. If you already do, tell your boyfriend that you just can't take any more time off work, so you don't want to have sex with him for the time being.


Not as a habit I don’t but I suppose I could try this
Original post by Anonymous
Not as a habit I don’t but I suppose I could try this


You have to pee after sex to avoid UTIs. Also drink plenty of water after to cause yourself to pee.
Original post by Anonymous
From my understanding sex is very important to men if they know they won’t be having it long term most will leave


Just give him head. I don’t get it oral sex is way better. Sex is secs anyway it doesn’t last long.
Reply 11
It deserves some proper investigation and help if it’s a recurring issue. I would put some pressure on the GP to take it seriously and if necessary refer you.
There are plenty of ways of having sex that don't come near your urinary tract. Rather than looking at it as a choice between getting UTIs or leaving him unsatisfied, you could try to see it as an opportunity to get curious and experimental and explore new things you both might like!
(edited 1 year ago)
Original post by Anonymous
From my understanding sex is very important to men if they know they won’t be having it long term most will leave


Some men are asexual.
Original post by Wannabevetnurse
If it's causing you pain. Stop having sex. A relationship doesn't start to break down without sex, but if your bf wants to break up, then it's clear he isn't the one.

I'd be very understanding if it was a temporary thing, but I have zero desire to live a sexless existence so I would end a relationship if that was going to be the case. To me, it's of vital importance.

The OP needs to do some thorough investigations either herself and in conjunction with her doctor. Hydrated, always pee after sex. Use lube. Sexual health screen. Can try you both showering before. Loose cotton knickers, ideally sleep with nothing on. What products do you use down there to clean/shave? You're not giving it a freshen up just before the act etc.
Have you spoke about this with your partner?

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