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Nothing sexual in our relationship. watch

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    (Original post by summertime_)
    So just because youre in a relationship and youre not having sex with eachother that makes it a "childish friendship"? You have no right to put such a label on someones relationship. Just because two people arent having sex it doesnt mean their relationship is any less adult than a relationship that is having sex. Its up to the individual couple and if I was personally in a relationship that you have described as "childish", I'd be highly pissed off and wonder where the hell you get off thinking you call tell people that their relationship is a mere "childish friendship".

    I think what she means is that fact the OP's girlfriend was ok to engage in sexual activites for the first few months without any objection. Yet suddenly there's a problem with it, only children d such things wihtout giving any explainations.

    Yes it is the OP's girlfriend's decision but in adult relationships people talk things through.
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    (Original post by ViolatedTreason)
    if she wanted it bad enough to be getting it from elsewhere, why not get it from your significant other too?
    Maybe he's gash in bed but his bird loves him too much to break up?
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    (Original post by Scribl_274)
    ohhhh no, a hurtful comment by Violated Treason
    oh myyy bad for not writing clearly for you, maybe i just dont give a **** about what you think
    ..but let me put this as grammatically clear as possible....GET A LIFE, maybe you're just jealous of this breh cause at least he has one whilst you sat there analysing other people's posts..
    no, you just didnt form coherent sentences, i dont give a **** about you, and evidently my post got through to you, because you are now writing in (albeit only just about) coherent sentences,

    and why would i be jealous of you, when you use words like "breh" you sound like an ********.

    and sorry for not wanting the english language to descend into "txt spk"
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    (Original post by yodude888)
    Not helping yourself in making it look more than childish, unfortunately.
    Since when has not being in a sexual relationship been childish?
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    (Original post by Dooze)
    Maybe he's gash in bed but his bird loves him too much to break up?
    well if shes getting it from elsewhere, then she doesnt love him as much as you think...
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    (Original post by Dooze)
    Maybe he's gash in bed but his bird loves him too much to break up?
    I would have thought she would be the gash one.

    Boom boom!
    http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v6...BasilBrush.gif
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    (Original post by KayleeLand)
    You have to decide on your priority... Is it sex? Or is it love?

    There's you answer.
    Oh it's hardly that simple. If you think it is, then your clearly one of these people who doesn't see sex and making love.

    Sex and sexual moments are an important part of a healthy relationship. And I can see why you're frustrated. You really need to talk to her about how you feel, because even though it's hard it needs to be said.

    There are people who'll say that if you break it off you're shallow, but you're not. And I'm a girl. To be honest, you cant hope at this age to change the terms of a relationship and just expect it to sit. I know it's not ideal but i see where you're coming from.
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    Ask if you're allowed a **** buddy.

    But seriously, it's unfair on you if she was more than willing to have sex beforehand, and suddenly changes her mind and expects you to respect that. I admire you for doing so for so long, but obviously she doesn't want to compromise and if you can't wait then you can't wait. Having said that, I've never been in the situation so at the end of the day, you still need to make that decision.
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    I feel so sorry for you OP, I really do. You sound like an amazing guy. Maybe your girlfriend doesn't realise how lucky she is to have you, but honestly, you're one in a million. So few guys would go this long being denied sex from someone they love and find incredibly attractive.

    I would tell your girlfriend how you're feeling, that you really can't stand not having sex with her because you think she's wonderful and want to be as close to her as you can. Sex isn't just about a physical sensation, it's an intimate and often emotional experience, and, in my opinion, it's the best way to show someone that you love them. If she can't reconsider her religious views after a month or so of you making it clear how you feel, then I hate to say it, but you have to break up. Her religion obviously comes first and you're too young to have to cope with this stressful situation, especially as you obviously don't intend on marrying her.

    Some points to bear in mind:

    1) This may just be a phase. She's still young, as you are, and she has some very extreme views that are remarkable in this day and age. She may give up on the religious idea at some point. Only you can assess if this is likely though, and don't hang on to the hope that this will happen, because it may not. Just something to think about.

    2) I hope this really is religious and not a fear of sex. She may be hiding behind her religion because she has other intimacy issues. Again, only you can know if this is likely or not.

    3) If you do break up, chances are you could get back together in the future. I'd hope you two would remain friends, and if there's a true love there then something could still happen. This doesn't have to be the end.

    Good luck. I hope everything works out for you, you sound like a decent guy and you deserve some happiness.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks for replying.

    Firstly, I have talked a lot with her about why we can't do it until marriage. She is a Christian and I don't want to come between her and what she believes - she isn't going to and I don't want her to do something she doesn't want to do. This thread is really about if I can go without sex, rather than trying to convince her to get into my bed.



    Emphasis on the highlighted bit. We tell each other everything - within reason of course - and are very close. One of the main things that angers me is seeing everyone around me getting laid, doing what is totally natural at this age (I'm 18 by the way) and me missing out. These are the best years of my life, I want to have a sex life. Sex is a major issue in a relationship IMO, it's the sexual attraction that differentiates two people between just friends and being more than that. We don't have that.

    She even refuses to share a bed with me in terms of sleeping. At my friends party the other week a few of us were staying over. One guy had maybe one too many whiskeys and passed out on a bed that was meant for her. She refused to come to my bed, she went and slept with her female friend...



    Not as easy as it sounds. Being with someone for two years you really do grow fond of them. All the things that remind me of her. Hell, I just went for a glass of milk and our song came on the radio and it really made me sad knowing that if I break up that this song is going to crush me every time.




    I have picked love for 16 months now. I always thought, "This will start to get to me, but not now". I have now reached the stage were it is REALLY getting to me. I love her, but say I stay in the relationship and we continue for two more years. Then we break up - I have wasted the four most sexually exciting and active years of my life. It's hard choosing love as you sit on your girlfriends bed, knowing you will NEVER have those amazing moments that 90% of my friends get once or twice a week.
    I'm sorry but I think thats total ********. The thing is, if she is such a devote christian, why have sex in the first place? it is completely unfair to do stuff for several months to then cut you off and expect you not to be annoyed.

    I think what kayleeland said is very unreasonable. Whilst some people can go without sexual intimacy (and hence, why some do hold out til marriage), others can't, and I think it would be especially difficult to once you have already gotten used to it.

    I'm sorry but I think you should end it. It's possible there is something else on her mind/going on that is causing her to do this, and it will only go downhill from here unless she can compromise. And to be honest, no intense kissing either?! Ask her what the point is in being in a relationship. That's basically the same as me and my best friend then. Ooh, allowed to chat and hang out but not anything else. Your relationship has merged into a friendship and I don't think there's much that can help. Even if you love her, what she is doing is unfair and unreasonable and it is pointless to continue on with the relationship.
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    (Original post by Dream_Catcher)
    I think what she means is that fact the OP's girlfriend was ok to engage in sexual activites for the first few months without any objection. Yet suddenly there's a problem with it, only children d such things wihtout giving any explainations.

    Yes it is the OP's girlfriend's decision but in adult relationships people talk things through.
    Thats not what she said in her post. She began her post with that ******* stupid little 'equation', and then said something about this case at hand. What I quoted which was

    'Sex + love + friendship = adult relationship.
    No sex + love + friendship = childish friendship.'

    How ******* dare she? Who the hell does she think she is to say such things, or put such labels on peoples relationships? Just because youre not having sex it doesnt make it a childish friendship.
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    (Original post by summertime_)
    Thats not what she said in her post. She began her post with that ******* stupid little 'equation', and then said something about this case at hand. What I quoted which was

    'Sex + love + friendship = adult relationship.
    No sex + love + friendship = childish friendship.'

    How ******* dare she? Who the hell does she think she is to say such things, or put such labels on peoples relationships? Just because youre not having sex it doesnt make it a childish friendship.
    Thank you for this. Restored a little faith. :p:
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    (Original post by summertime_)
    Thats not what she said in her post. She began her post with that ******* stupid little 'equation', and then said something about this case at hand. What I quoted which was

    'Sex + love + friendship = adult relationship.
    No sex + love + friendship = childish friendship.'

    How ******* dare she? Who the hell does she think she is to say such things, or put such labels on peoples relationships? Just because youre not having sex it doesnt make it a childish friendship.
    no, but cutting him off from EVERYTHING, kissing, touching.. that makes it childish.. **** me, thats as far as my primary school relatioships went..
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    (Original post by ViolatedTreason)
    no, but cutting him off from EVERYTHING, kissing, touching.. that makes it childish.. **** me, thats as far as my primary school relatioships went..
    This is fair enough - You need to have both agreed on a mutual line. But to say that a relationship without sex is simply childish is both ignorant and hurtful to those who have chosen such a lifestyle.
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    (Original post by summertime_)
    So just because youre in a relationship and youre not having sex with eachother that makes it a "childish friendship"? You have no right to put such a label on someones relationship. Just because two people arent having sex it doesnt mean their relationship is any less adult than a relationship that is having sex. Its up to the individual couple and if I was personally in a relationship that you have described as "childish", I'd be highly pissed off and wonder where the hell you get off thinking you call tell people that their relationship is a mere "childish friendship".
    No but changing the dynamics of the relationship several months IS childish. Especially being so unreasonable and stubborn about it (especially the kissing bit). Even if she didn't want to have sex, it's out of order to get rid of basics such as touching and kissing. What sort of relationship would that be after several months of sexual stuff?

    And, where she's decided this, it's not up the the 'couple' now because he's getting no say in it, and she's calling all the shots.
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    I don't think it's childish, the main issue I see here is that sex was 'allowed' and now randomly it's not. Not having sex before marriage isn't childish if it's down to a religious belief and you don't do it at all until marriage, but to have sex and then to 'ban' it or whatever ... hmm ...
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    God would so not say the same about sex now than what he did back then, he missed out so he thought he'd rule it out before he died, pft.. :rolleyes:

    Now the Christians have to suffer for it..
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    People have got the wrong end of the stick about what summertime_ and myself are saying.

    We're not calling the OP's situation childish - However, the comment was made by another poster that a relationship without sex is childish, which is what has upset us.
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    (Original post by Spotty Dog)
    This is fair enough - You need to have both agreed on a mutual line. But to say that a relationship without sex is simply childish is both ignorant and hurtful to those who have chosen such a lifestyle.
    a relationship that can last without sex is a strog relationship.. i dont doubt that, but a relationship without kissing, the most basic form of showing affection, simply isnt a relationship, and is a childing relationship..
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    the christianity seems to be a poor reason to abstain from anything sexual, considering her religious beliefs weren't an issue before. Besides many christians whilst may be refusing of sex would still be ok with lighter sexual activity.
    I think you are better off ending things with her, i know it will hurt, but the way she is acting is unfair on you, plus it sounds like you cant really talk about with her since she seems to just get angry and upset which is an extremely childish response.
 
 
 
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