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    (Original post by ViolatedTreason)
    a relationship that can last without sex is a strog relationship.. i dont doubt that, but a relationship without kissing, the most basic form of showing affection, simply isnt a relationship, and is a childing relationship..
    Yeah, and I agree with you there. There needs to be some display of affection that pulls it away from a friendship and into a relationship. But that display does not need to be sex, and to say it does is ignorant and ill-informed.
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    I definitely think you need to have a serious chat with your girlfriend about this. Too many people take the girl's side straight away, and although her wishes need to be thought carefully about and respected, you have just as much a right to a say as she does! Although relationships without sex/sexual intimacy can work, I say such things only help to make them stronger, and, if we are facing facts, they are definitely a large part of being ina relationship. Try and talk to her seriously about this and make her see YOUR side of the argument- try not to make this into a full-blown confrontation however!
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    (Original post by ViolatedTreason)
    no, but cutting him off from EVERYTHING, kissing, touching.. that makes it childish.. **** me, thats as far as my primary school relatioships went..
    (Original post by Clements-)
    No but changing the dynamics of the relationship several months IS childish. Especially being so unreasonable and stubborn about it (especially the kissing bit). Even if she didn't want to have sex, it's out of order to get rid of basics such as touching and kissing. What sort of relationship would that be after several months of sexual stuff?

    And, where she's decided this, it's not up the the 'couple' now because he's getting no say in it, and she's calling all the shots.
    Im not disputing the fact that this person has cut him off from everything. Read my post. Thats not what I am saying at all, I'm not even talking about this individual situation. What I am saying is that I am annoyed at how this girl thinks she can stick such a meaningless label on to peoples relationships where they arent having sex. Who the hell does she think she is?
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    (Original post by summertime_)
    Im not disputing the fact that this person has cut him off from everything. Read my post. Thats not what I am saying at all, I'm not even talking about this individual situation. What I am saying is that I am annoyed at how this girl thinks she can stick such a meaningless label on to peoples relationships where they arent having sex. Who the hell does she think she is?
    i agree with your view when just sex is taken out of the relationship.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Please keep anonymous, if not delete.

    I've been with my girlfriend for 2 years now. From a few weeks into our relationship until 6 months into the relationship (1.5 years) we we quite sexual. You know, the usual - starting with oral and such then eventually losing our virginity to each other. Sounds kinda' bad that we started so soon but we were a lot less mature than we are now. We really love each other, I never thought anything would really come between us in a serious way until we went to uni (which would probably mean moving away).

    Anyway, 5-6 months into the relationship she decided that we could no longer have sex because she thought it was wrong as we weren't married.

    That's ok, I respect her and if she doesn't want to then that's ok. We continued with the other sex acts - which we both thoroughly enjoyed - for another 2 or 3 months before she cut that off saying it was wrong because we weren't married.

    Now, 16 months later, I am extremely frustrated. My girlfriend is very beautiful, she has an awesome body and knowing that I will never get it is extremely frustrating. Sexual behavior is, IMO, one of the main things that separate "good friends" and "boyfriend/girlfriend". I can't touch her body, I just feel like we have a really good friendship now more than a relationship. Sex is more than just a physical thing for me, it made us feel close and intimate in the way nothing else could. We never really feel like that now.

    I never thought this would come between us like this. When she first said we couldn't do anything sexual (that means BTW, no touching, intense making out etc.) I kinda' knew it would be a bit of an issue for me but that was "well down the line". I am now approaching the end of that line. It makes me extremely jealous seeing other couples, imagining the wonderful moments they have. It's equally hard knowing that is not even a prospect for us.


    I don't want to seem like someone who is out only for sex. I love her very much. I have talked about this with her but she gets angry, blatantly tells me to **** off sometimes. The sexual frustration is very strong, doing it yourself when you have a very hot girlfriend makes you want to shove dead flowers up your own ass.


    What should I do? I have seriously considered ending it. I love her and it will break my heart, it will take a lot of time to get over her but this relationship just isn't offering me the intimacy that I need. A lot of the time when we're together I get restless and just annoyed, toward the end of the night I usually get grouchy and impatient.

    PS. Sorry for the big post. I had a lot to say.
    dude, if u really love her, you wouldn't break up with her over sex. Now u mention it, just break up with her because i think sex is clouding your judgement.
    It seems to me like she is coming into my religion(Christianity) or some other religion that forbids sex before marriage, you have to respect her. (if she didn't, sorry, shes getting it somewhere else)
    I agree, sex is the most beautiful thing that God gave to man and woman to bond, but you can't abuse it. If you won't marry her later, it will just make things difficult for both of you.
    You got alot of other options besides sex(sex toy,doll,masturabtion etc), i know its tempting to take thing to the next level when u r kissing or close to her, but just don't. Cos you are gonna b angry if she rejects you.

    Or you can make her so horny she won't be able to resist:p: , but if shes stubborn on the issue, just a warning. Girls aren't like us, they can say no and they would b fine with it :eek:
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    i am being serious, now i read the rest of your post, it seems to me like if your girl is not into serious religion, then shes definitely cheating on you. Does she even kiss you anymore? is she cold?
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    (Original post by silverwolfalpha)
    dude, if u really love her, you wouldn't break up with her over sex. Now u mention it, just break up with her because i think sex is clouding your judgement.
    It seems to me like she is coming into my religion(Christianity) or some other religion that forbids sex before marriage, you have to respect her. (if she didn't, sorry, shes getting it somewhere else)
    I agree, sex is the most beautiful thing that God gave to man and woman to bond, but you can't abuse it. If you won't marry her later, it will just make things difficult for both of you.
    You got alot of other options besides sex(sex toy,doll,masturabtion etc), i know its tempting to take thing to the next level when u r kissing or close to her, but just don't. Cos you are gonna b angry if she rejects you.

    Or you can make her so horny she won't be able to resist:p: , but if shes stubborn on the issue, just a warning. Girls aren't like us, they can say no and they would b fine with it :eek:
    he cant even kiss her though
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    (Original post by silverwolfalpha)
    dude, if u really love her, you wouldn't break up with her over sex. Now u mention it, just break up with her because i think sex is clouding your judgement.
    It seems to me like she is coming into my religion(Christianity) or some other religion that forbids sex before marriage, you have to respect her. (if she didn't, sorry, shes getting it somewhere else)
    I agree, sex is the most beautiful thing that God gave to man and woman to bond, but you can't abuse it. If you won't marry her later, it will just make things difficult for both of you.
    You got alot of other options besides sex(sex toy,doll,masturabtion etc), i know its tempting to take thing to the next level when u r kissing or close to her, but just don't. Cos you are gonna b angry if she rejects you.

    Or you can make her so horny she won't be able to resist:p: , but if shes stubborn on the issue, just a warning. Girls aren't like us, they can say no and they would b fine with it :eek:
    Ridiculous. Because she's not letting him do ANYTHING. Not just sex :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by silverwolfalpha)
    i am being serious, now i read the rest of your post, it seems to me like if your girl is not into serious religion, then shes definitely cheating on you. Does she even kiss you anymore? is she cold?
    Err, well, she's clearly not THAT serious about it since she had sex in the first place! What person so devoted to their faith would bang someone for several months then say, actually, sorry, this is wrong, I'm offending god or whatever.
    It's a crap excuse on her part to be honest.
    And if they're not even kissing that is even more ridiculous and doesn't even resemble a relationship

    I'd respect that if she felt that strongly about it. But you can't respect someone who starts off not giving a damn.
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    (Original post by Spotty Dog)
    Yeah, and I agree with you there. There needs to be some display of affection that pulls it away from a friendship and into a relationship. But that display does not need to be sex, and to say it does is ignorant and ill-informed.
    agreed. However girls are built to show their love through touching/intimacy(not necessarilly sex), so if a girl doesn't do that after 2 years in a relationship, as far as i am concerned. She either dont love me no more or is definitely cheating on me(one of the tell tail signs)
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    (Original post by Dream_Catcher)
    I think what she means is that fact the OP's girlfriend was ok to engage in sexual activites for the first few months without any objection. Yet suddenly there's a problem with it, only children d such things wihtout giving any explainations.

    Yes it is the OP's girlfriend's decision but in adult relationships people talk things through.
    (Original post by Clements-)
    No but changing the dynamics of the relationship several months IS childish. Especially being so unreasonable and stubborn about it (especially the kissing bit). Even if she didn't want to have sex, it's out of order to get rid of basics such as touching and kissing. What sort of relationship would that be after several months of sexual stuff?

    And, where she's decided this, it's not up the the 'couple' now because he's getting no say in it, and she's calling all the shots.

    How is it childish that she has become a more devout christian?
    People seem to be assuming here that just because someone has already had sex and everything, they can no longer change their views.

    It's harsh on the OP I agree. His girlfriend would only be unreasonable if she expects him to stay with him for several years without sexual intimacy. For all you know, she's prepared that the relationship may break due to this. Still that doesn't remove the fact that she's probably hoping that things will last, and that other aspects of the relationship will hold strong enough.

    (Original post by ViolatedTreason)
    a relationship that can last without sex is a strog relationship.. i dont doubt that, but a relationship without kissing, the most basic form of showing affection, simply isnt a relationship, and is a childing relationship..
    Depends on the type of kiss. I can't really imagine that all kissing would be sexual, sometimes it's just like a hug. Does the OP not get that?
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    Sex isn't really that important. It's just a chemical instinct, override it
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    (Original post by Clements-)
    Ridiculous. Because she's not letting him do ANYTHING. Not just sex :rolleyes:
    CHEATER!!
    no religion restrict kissing, hugging, spending time with each others body etc(not sexual).
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    (Original post by silverwolfalpha)
    CHEATER!!
    no religion restrict kissing, hugging, spending time with each others body etc(not sexual).
    So I'm getting that the general consensus is that she is a moron.
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    (Original post by Clements-)
    So I'm getting that the general consensus is that she is a moron.
    Cheaters are moron, so correct.
    Google cheaters, you'll see what i mean. I used to be insecure and i know all the signs of cheating GF, yours display a major one.
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    (Original post by Tombola)
    How is it childish that she has become a more devout christian?
    People seem to be assuming here that just because someone has already had sex and everything, they can no longer change their views.


    It's harsh on the OP I agree. His girlfriend would only be unreasonable if she expects him to stay with him for several years without sexual intimacy. For all you know, she's prepared that the relationship may break due to this. Still that doesn't remove the fact that she's probably hoping that things will last, and that other aspects of the relationship will hold strong enough.



    Depends on the type of kiss. I can't really imagine that all kissing would be sexual, sometimes it's just like a hug. Does the OP not get that?
    What's childish is being so unwilling to budge, especially on such basic intimacy such as kissing, touching, etc. If they can't even have that, why even class it as a relationship? From what he describes, it really doesn't sound like one anymore
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    (Original post by silverwolfalpha)
    Cheaters are moron, so correct.
    Google cheaters, you'll see what i mean. I used to be insecure and i know all the signs of cheating GF, yours display a major one.
    I'm not saying she's necessarily cheating on him, because this whole fiasco would be completely pointless. But I do think she's being selfish.
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    (Original post by Clements-)
    I'm not saying she's necessarily cheating on him, because this whole fiasco would be completely pointless. But I do think she's being selfish.
    i think she is
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    (Original post by silverwolfalpha)
    dude, if u really love her, you wouldn't break up with her over sex.
    Not true.

    If you won't marry her later, it will just make things difficult for both of you.
    How can a 18 year old teenager know whether he'll marry someone? Most people get married in their mid-20s. You're essentially asking someone who obviously values to sex to abstain for potentially more than 3 years.

    It's for this reason that some decide to get married early so that the relationship can last, however that turns out to be a mistake in the long run. Thus we end up with people who are unhappy but are unwilling to get divorced.
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    signs of a cheater(http://www.cheating-spouse.org/warningsigns.htm)
    1 - When they no longer want sex or makes excuses to not have sex.

    2 - When they will not allow you access to their computer or they suddenly shut down the computer when you walk into the room. They may password protect their laptop or computer to keep out suspicious eyes. Or they stay up to "work" or "play a game" on the computer after you go to bed. Excessive internet usage, especially late at night, is a red flag.

    3 - When they begin to put distance between you or show a lack of interest in what has been the routine with few, if any, excuses for the change in their behavior.

    4 - When they suddenly have to work late and have all kinds of new obligations that take them away from home repeatedly or for long periods of time. Or. . . they tell you they are working longer hours and discontinue allowing you to view their paycheck or pay stubs.

    5 - If your loved one works with people, such as at a bar or restaurant especially as a waitress or bartender they might suddenly tell you not to visit them at work. This usually means they are hiding something at their workplace whether it be with a co-worker or a regular customer such as at a bar.

    6 - When they suddenly need a cell phone or pager and you are discouraged from ever looking at it or using it. They also may make certain their cell phone or pager cannot be answered by you by hiding it or taking it with them wherever they go. They are secretive about their cell phone or pager bill and pay it themselves when you have always paid the bill in the past.

    7 - When they arrive home smelling faintly of perfume/cologne or another person's body.

    8 - When they arrive home and head straight into the shower or bath.

    9 - When they have lipstick or strange hairs on their clothing or in the car. Finding strange phone numbers, receipts or condoms can also be clues.

    10 - When they suddenly begin to treat you extremely nice; more so than usual.

    11 - When they begin to make "kinky" requests or suggest wildly erotic play during sex including things you have never done before. They may also show an increased interest in sex or sexual things, including porn.

    12 - When they talk to you they treat you abusively or with disdain, disrespect or excessive sarcasm. They may also demonstrate an unexplained aloofness or indifference in the relationship. Or. . . they may begin to find fault in everything you do in an attempt to justify their affair.

    13 - Her: When she gets spiffed up and dresses provocative to "go grocery shopping" or to "get her hair done." She may also show up with a sudden change of hair style. Him: When he showers, shaves (cologne, deodorant, etc.) and dresses up more than usual to "go out with his buddies" or to "go fishing."

    14 - When they break their established routine at work and home for no apparent or logical reason.

    15 - When they become suddenly forgetful and you have to tell him/her everything several times; their thoughts are obviously elsewhere.

    16 - When they are always tired or demonstrate a noticeable lack of energy or interest in the relationship.

    17 - When they begin to intentionally look at or flirt with the opposite sex when in the past, this is something they would not have done.

    18 - When you notice that they are reluctant to kiss you or accept your affection.

    19 - When they ignore or criticize your affections and thoughtful ways. Example : "Why are you so luvy duvy? I'm just not like that."

    20 - When your phone bill shows an increase in unexplained toll or long distance charges. Often when a partner is acting too close or flirting with a best friend of the opposite sex, you will find their phone number listed excessively.

    21 - When the passenger seat in the car has been changed and is not in the usual position or the mileage on the car is more than usual. Also increased gas purchases that are inconsistent with the amount of miles on the car.

    22 - When they begin to keep a change of clothes hidden in the trunk of the car or an unusual amount of clothes changes at the gym.

    23 - When you notice credit card charges for gifts (such as florist or jewelry) that you didn't receive.

    24 - When they begin to make sudden and excessive purchases of clothes or an unexplained change in clothing style. Beginning to purchase sexy underwear or lingerie may be a clue.

    25 - When you notice an increase in ATM withdrawals. Cheating costs money! To play you must pay!

    26 - When you notice that your partner loses their ability and desire to show the children the attention they need or a lack of desire to do any fix-ups around the house, e.g., lawn care, painting, cleaning the garage, house repairs, etc. They might turn this around on you at the same time and accuse you of never doing anything or treating the child/children badly.

    27 - When you notice an increased attention to losing weight or paying more attention to their appearance.

    28 - When they begin to volunteer to go to the post office, rushes to check the mail before you do or opens up a new P.O. box perhaps without even telling you.

    29 - When your partner shows up without their wedding ring or suddenly stops wearing it and makes lame excuses as to why. This also goes for jewelry you might have purchased for them and you catch them not wearing it when they go out when usually they wear it at all times.

    30 - When they get mysterious phone calls or when they hurry to answer the phone, leave the room to talk on the phone and when you ask who called, they say, "No one", "Wrong number", or "Why do you care?"

    31 - Simple trips, such as to the grocery store or bank, take hours rather than the time it should take.

    32 - Your loved one suddenly deletes all emails from the computer where as they used to accumulate. Same goes for calls on the cell phone or caller ID.

    33 - Your loved one seems to pick fights or finds reasons to fight only to stomp out of the house and away from you.

    34 - You find a diaphragm, condom, birth control, etc., however, you have had either a vasectomy or she has had a tubal ligation.
 
 
 
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