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    (Original post by Clements-)
    No, i mean as in normal kissing. Normal affection of a relationship.

    And I do think though that if they are that intimate, then are suddenly not, I think that puts a serious strain on the relationship and I simply think she is being unfair. How much did she care about her strong beliefs when she was having sex with him for the first several months? I just find it odd that she can say, ok, I'm religious now, no sex. Annoying, but reasonable. And then to not be a 'strong enough' christian to continue on with sex acts and then eventually cut them out too. She can't just pick and choose what aspects she chooses to adopt and believe in.
    Uh... It's probably a difference of opinion.
    Personally I can see how someone can change their views on life, and to later realise that even continuing with basic sexual acts is wrong (within christian context)

    I don't find it odd at all. She's not being unfair, she's basically offered him a different contract, one that she could not have anticipated at all. It's now up to him to decide whether he wants this new relationship.

    Like I said, she probably already knows that this is going to put a strain on the relationship and the possability it might end.

    And actually, I am. Yet I believe that to be a completely and utterly different situation. They're not in contact because one decided to be selfish and uncompromising about the new dynamics of their 'relationship'. They're not in contact because it's difficult for them to be and there is a valid excuse for it. I've had a long distance relationship and I find that completely different to this situation.
    Fair enough.
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    (Original post by silverwolfalpha)
    i don't. Christians believe in repent, repent means ask God for forgiveness, then turn away from it. Thats the major difference between Christians and Atheiests. A person could be a murderer, then ask for repentence and forgivenss, if he means it, he would still go to heaven as long as he is a Christian.
    I'm an atheist. And that sentence makes me more firm in my choice to be an atheist :p:
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    (Original post by Clements-)
    I'm an atheist. And that sentence makes me more firm in my choice to be an atheist :p:
    well does telling u that I saw heaven with my own eyes help?(it was a christian church)
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    (Original post by mr-breaker)
    This is such an easy fold I dunno why it's up for debate.

    It's gonna suck because you're in love yadda yadda yadda, but you have your whole life ahead of you to find someone that you're more compatible with.

    Assuming she's not levelling you, and not ******* somebody else, her religious beliefs>>>>her sexual desires (that's what she wants to believe anyway).

    The problem I have is she was enjoying a sexual relationship for 6 months, then suddenly turns around and says "you know what, this is against my religion, we can't do this no more.........and forget about even kissing me!"

    wtf r u srs?


    If she's that fantastic a person by all means stay friends with her, but don't expend energy in getting blood from a turnip. For both your sakes, finish it.
    :rofl:
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    (Original post by summertime_)
    So just because youre in a relationship and youre not having sex with eachother that makes it a "childish friendship"? You have no right to put such a label on someones relationship. Just because two people arent having sex it doesnt mean their relationship is any less adult than a relationship that is having sex. Its up to the individual couple and if I was personally in a relationship that you have described as "childish", I'd be highly pissed off and wonder where the hell you get off thinking you call tell people that their relationship is a mere "childish friendship".
    It's called 'personal opinion'. Thanks for the neg rep though!
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    (Original post by silverwolfalpha)
    well does telling u that I saw heaven with my own eyes help?(it was a christian church)
    No.
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    (Original post by Ilora-Danon)
    It's called 'personal opinion'. Thanks for the neg rep though!
    Youre welcome, you deserved it.
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    (Original post by Tombola)
    How is it childish that she has become a more devout christian?
    People seem to be assuming here that just because someone has already had sex and everything, they can no longer change their views.

    It's harsh on the OP I agree. His girlfriend would only be unreasonable if she expects him to stay with him for several years without sexual intimacy. For all you know, she's prepared that the relationship may break due to this. Still that doesn't remove the fact that she's probably hoping that things will last, and that other aspects of the relationship will hold strong enough.
    In my opinion its childish that the girl won't even talk to her boyfriend about the issue.

    Yes views can be changed but when your in a relationship you need to take the other person into account. The OP's girlfriend is being selfish.
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    (Original post by Dream_Catcher)
    In my opinion its childish that the girl won't even talk to her boyfriend about the issue.

    Yes views can be changed but when your in a relationship you need to take the other person into account. The OP's girlfriend is being selfish.
    Well... faith is one of the most important thing in someones life.

    Simiarly I have heard many stories where people leave spouses because their view on life and dreams have changed completely. At the end of the day - The girl is living her own life.

    What can talking about it do? There is no compromise.
    It's basically the OP raising his frustrations.

    I sort of assume they have had plenty of conversations regarding to the issue matter, if not my bad. I'd agree with you that she's childish if she's never discussed the issue at all.
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    I'm trying to understand the arguments for her decision.

    But, OP, I know what you mean about sex and intimacy. Sex brings me to an entirely different level of intimacy, a special kind that transcends the type of intimacy you feel when you're merely holding hands. And if no sex is holding you back in this case, and if she really has no intentions of taking the physical activity up a notch, you're just going to become more and more frustrated.

    If you love her, well, for now all you can be is patient. Just make sure you let her know how you feel.
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    (Original post by Tombola)
    Well... faith is one of the most important thing in someones life.

    Simiarly I have heard many stories where people leave spouses because their view on life and dreams have changed completely. At the end of the day - The girl is living her own life.

    What can talking about it do? There is no compromise.
    It's basically the OP raising his frustrations.

    I sort of assume they have had plenty of conversations regarding to the issue matter, if not my bad. I'd agree with you that she's childish if she's never discussed the issue at all.
    WEll he did state that whenever he tries to talk to her, she gets angry and tells him to "f**k off". So your right there is no compromise.

    Her dreams might have completely changed but why can't she tell him this instead of dragging him along?

    Would you not have any frustrations after being led on? As I'm sure as hell I would.
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    (Original post by Dream_Catcher)
    WEll he did state that whenever he tries to talk to her, she gets angry and tells him to "f**k off". So your right there is no compromise.

    Her dreams might have completely changed but why can't she tell him this instead of dragging him along?

    Would you not have any frustrations after being led on? As I'm sure as hell I would.
    She has told him this, and it's now time for him to decide whether he wants to continue this. I bet they've had civilised discussions, but when it appears for the 100th time. I can imagine getting slightly irritated, even if he's the one doing all the compromising.

    I'd be frustrated certainly but I don't see how she led him on, it was not a planned decision to suddenly change. A more distasteful example is me being frustrated that the person I invested so much time with, suddenly died.

    The time he spent together with her before does not simply disappear.
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    Sounds like she is waiting for you to pop the question.
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    This is a hard situation, I think you should really consider whether you want to be in this relationship or not. It sounds like you have a good friendship with her and you get along really well but if there is no intimacy essentially all it is is a friendship, not a relationship. Personally sex is really important to me in a relationship because it brings you closer to your partner in a way that you can't be with anyone else. It sounds like you want different things right now and for that reason maybe you aren't meant to be together.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Let's clear a few things up:

    1. When I said "no touching" I meant of her body. We can hold hands, hold each other and all that but touching her chest is a no no.

    2. When I said no intimate kissing I really meant heavy making out. We still kiss and all that, but she stops it before it becomes too intense.

    3. She isn't cheating on me and her religion isn't an excuse. There's no need for me to explain how I know this, just accept it

    I thought I made this all pretty clear, must have missed a bit or two.


    I'm really glad with the responses. I expected most people to tell me to stop being an ******* for wanting to have sex with her.

    I know I should really break up. It's all the factors around it though that are stopping me.



    I don't just want sex for the physical sensation, no; it's a lot more than that.

    It seems to me like the main reason you're not breaking up with her is because it will upset her. Unfortunately this is something that's horrible to do but she's made her choice that her religion is important to her, and the way you feel just isn't compatible with her choice of lifestyle. You have every right to want an intimate relationship, especially since you know what it's like, so I personally feel that you should break up with her. If you're not sure, wait a while, but if you're still feeling like you're not getting that special feeling of intimacy from sex or secual acts, then you can't be right for each other. It sucks, but you're better off ending things and finding someone who wants the same things as you, and so your gf can find someone who wants the same things as her.
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    wheres the op?
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    Well sex is not making love at all.

    Sex is rubbish and making love is the good stuff!

    If he wants sex, then he needs to get rid of her. But if he loves her then waiting to make love will be worth it.
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    #1

    I am here


    It seems to me like the main reason you're not breaking up with her is because it will upset her. Unfortunately this is something that's horrible to do but she's made her choice that her religion is important to her, and the way you feel just isn't compatible with her choice of lifestyle. You have every right to want an intimate relationship, especially since you know what it's like, so I personally feel that you should break up with her. If you're not sure, wait a while, but if you're still feeling like you're not getting that special feeling of intimacy from sex or secual acts, then you can't be right for each other. It sucks, but you're better off ending things and finding someone who wants the same things as you, and so your gf can find someone who wants the same things as her.
    I think I will wait a while. Honestly, I think we will break up. This is just effecting me too much to the point were the relationship turns to resent, a subtle bitterness exists. I know what I'm missing out on (although saying that, if I do break up with her then it will probably be a pretty long time before I find someone else) and it bothers me. It makes me extremely jealous, I see complete *******s in my year who treat girls like dirt getting what I am want and here I am; I think I'm a nice guy, I have always treated her very well. I have put up with things that most guys wouldn't, I don't really feel like bringing it up at this late stage but there have been a few occasions in which I know that 95% of guys would just end it there and then. Those *******s get it and I don't, that's something that truly infuriates me. Not only do I not get to make love to the woman I love, but I'm left completely sexually frustrated due to the lack of anything sexual.

    ...know what I'm saying?
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    I believe you OP.. you do sound like a decent person.. you have just been given a rough edge.. and it is not fair..

    I think she is selfish.. anyone who puts a fairytale before a physical..living..breathing person like you.. who has done a lot for her..is not being respectful.. I think she has her head in the clouds.. and is in fantasy land.. like all preachy Christians..
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    At the end of the proverbial day (or, at the end of the actual day, which is in 24 minutes), it's up to you what you do. A bunch of people on an internet forum can merely give you opinions, but you need to make the decision. What do you want?


    (Original post by jismith1989)
    Christ died on the cross for this? :eek:
    Haha
 
 
 
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