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Nothing sexual in our relationship. watch


    (Original post by Tombola)
    Isn't it a little unfair to be making it out to be one or another. Obviously the OP wants sex with his girlfriend specfically rather than sex with a random person.

    She sees having no sex as an expression of love.
    He sese having sex as an expression of love.
    Hmm, ultimately though, it really is one or the other - in the very practical sense, is it not?

    I get you - and I get the OP - given the fact that the social norm and expectation is that sex is an important part of a relationship (generally perceived that way anyway), while I might disagree, I get that it's still important to people nonetheless. It's why I say that it is unfair on the OP - if he had entered into the relationship knowing these conditions, then he shouldn't complain. Right now he's ended up in a situation he had no idea would come up, so I get why he'd wanna call it quits, and I don't even think him a jerk for it. But ultimately it does boil down to - just how much do you love her?

    (Original post by silverwolfalpha)
    ok, whether you should break up with her or not comes after this message.
    I now ask you to imagine

    You broke up with her, you are over her.
    One day you take a walk in the park, in the distance you suddenly spot her with another man, they are holding hands and kissing. They are very happy with each other. She is smiling and looking at him with a loving gaze, just as she looked at you. He smiles back, gently strokes her hair and tells her that he loves her, and that no matter her choice, he will stay with her. They kiss again, you walk away.

    How would you feel?
    if you feel nothing as you imagine this, then end it.
    If you feel like she can't be with any other man and she is made for you, then stick it out.
    I'm not sure it works that way - even right now, after my ex and I have been broken up for a whole year, he still feels like I can't be with any other man and he still feels like someone's stealing me away not that he's causing me trouble - we're too great friends for that. But still, feeling possessive is not necessarily a good indication.

    Ultimately - you're asking "Should I stay with her?" - Reverse the question and ask "Should I leave her?" - often you get the answer that way.

    Or do this - it works for me - just flip a coin, say heads, you stay, and tails you leave. Flip a coin, see what it lands on. If you're relieved or repulsed by the outcome, then you have your answer. (eg, if it lands on heads and you have to stay, and you feel horror - then you should end it. On the contrary if you end up feeling relieved, then you should stay)

    Works for me every time I always say - I don't think it is that you cannot decide. It is simply that you don't wanna decide.
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