Cant decide if I like him or not?

This guy I’ve been seeing, when I’m with him I feel relaxed and in good company, we have similar humor and values, He’s generally a good looking guy.

However when I’m not with him I doubt if I like him, my brain starts saying a lot and finding flaws in superficial things, people say when you like someone you should have a giddy feeling and smile when u think about them.

When I think about him I don’t have this, just contentment and calm. I’ve never dated before so it’s hard for me to know the difference between being best friends who hook up and genuinely a romantic connection.

Me liking him when we’re together and not when I’m away is very conflicting for me so I don’t know what to do. I wanna know if not getting butterflies and excitement is normal? I suppose I know he’s always there for me so I don’t have this feeling

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

This guy I’ve been seeing, when I’m with him I feel relaxed and in good company, we have similar humor and values, He’s generally a good looking guy.

However when I’m not with him I doubt if I like him, my brain starts saying a lot and finding flaws in superficial things, people say when you like someone you should have a giddy feeling and smile when u think about them.

When I think about him I don’t have this, just contentment and calm. I’ve never dated before so it’s hard for me to know the difference between being best friends who hook up and genuinely a romantic connection.

Me liking him when we’re together and not when I’m away is very conflicting for me so I don’t know what to do. I wanna know if not getting butterflies and excitement is normal? I suppose I know he’s always there for me so I don’t have this feeling

I had similar with my current boyfriend. Before him I had only ever dated one person and between the two it took a few years.

When I met my boyfriend, neither of us knew anything would come off from it as we just met casually at a party. Later, we found out we lived in the same town so decided to meet up - again only as friends. I felt the same way you do, very relaxed and comfortable, felt like i could talk about or do anything with him without fear of judgement or embarrassment.

I didn’t know if I liked him or not, but luckily for me, he told me he had feelings so we both decided to give it a shot. At first as we got closer in that way and started being official, I wasn’t 100% sure if It was what I wanted, but as time went on I realised it was definitely what I wanted to be with him, I just couldn't realise it straight away. The first time we laid together our hearts raced, and we could feel it from the close contact, and that’s also how I realised it was true feelings I had, I had butterflies inside just from having him within close proximity.

Long story short, my advise would be spend a lot of time together before rushing into things, then you’ll know wether it is a feeling or just a good friendship.

Reply 2

tinyperson

18

Perhaps have a fun date night to help. Invite him over in order to discuss more neutral topics at first then broach the topic carefully and slowly. Order in tasty hot pizza or provide a few different healthy but cheap snacks and soft drinks then try to talk to him very slowly about emotions as you play fun classic board games or simply sit down to watch a nice classic movie etc together at night.
Or do a rather difficult puzzle instead and see what happens next as a result. Ask yourself if you even want this to continue or not. Take things quite slowly for now. Maybe you should also consult a trained but local relationship advisor. Tell me a little bit more about your relationship with him.

Cant decide if I like him or not?

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