Is it rape if you like it??

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Anonymous #1
#1
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#1
Situation: let's say you are about to have sex. Getting undressed etc. But you're not sure if it should happen or if eaither of you two want it. But it's not a forced situation.
Is it still rape beacuse you're not sure you want sex (I guess it doenst have to be sex) even though it's not a forced situation.
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Wannabevetnurse
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#2
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#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
Situation: let's say you are about to have sex. Getting undressed etc. But you're not sure if it should happen or if eaither of you two want it. But it's not a forced situation.
Is it still rape beacuse you're not sure you want sex (I guess it doenst have to be sex) even though it's not a forced situation.
Unless you have said yes and the other party have said yes, it is rape.
You can say "no no no no no" and if you eventually say yes, they haven't got consent.
If you're too drunk, or unaware they haven't got consent.
If you say yes, and say no inbetween, but they carry on, it is rape.
Last edited by Wannabevetnurse; 1 month ago
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Mohammed_80
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#3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Situation: let's say you are about to have sex. Getting undressed etc. But you're not sure if it should happen or if eaither of you two want it. But it's not a forced situation.
Is it still rape beacuse you're not sure you want sex (I guess it doenst have to be sex) even though it's not a forced situation.
Unless you’ve given consent and permission and the other guy gives consent and permission no but by force or unwillingness then yes.
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BurstingBubbles
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Situation: let's say you are about to have sex. Getting undressed etc. But you're not sure if it should happen or if eaither of you two want it. But it's not a forced situation.
Is it still rape beacuse you're not sure you want sex (I guess it doenst have to be sex) even though it's not a forced situation.
Don't quote me on this but I would say if your partner(s) are genuinely unaware that you're not sure that you want to have sex (e.g. you've said you do but you're doubting it), then it's not rape. Rape would be if you've said no and/or are clearly uncomfortable with the situation and they continue.
Last edited by BurstingBubbles; 1 month ago
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BurstingBubbles
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#5
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#5
(Original post by Wannabevetnurse)
Unless you have said yes and the other party have said yes, it is rape.
I don't think that people need to verbalise 'yes' or 'I give you consent' before having sex :dontknow: Perhaps it's best practise with a new sexual partner in particular. But obviously if someone says no, seems uncomfortable etc and the person goes ahead with it anyway, that is rape.
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Wannabevetnurse
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#6
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#6
(Original post by BurstingBubbles)
I don't think that people need to verbalise 'yes' or 'I give you consent' before having sex :dontknow: Perhaps it's best practise with a new sexual partner in particular. But obviously if someone says no, seems uncomfortable etc and the person goes ahead with it anyway, that is rape.
I think you need to. Body language can be hard to read. Being open to sex is harder to read than being uncomfortable. Each to their own ig.
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SagaciousSag
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#7
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Situation: let's say you are about to have sex. Getting undressed etc. But you're not sure if it should happen or if eaither of you two want it. But it's not a forced situation.
Is it still rape beacuse you're not sure you want sex (I guess it doenst have to be sex) even though it's not a forced situation.
If it isn't forced and there's implied consent (gestures, voluntarily undressing, going along with everything without coercion, even if you don't speak), it's not rape. If you've said yes but you start regretting it and don't say anything, I would think that you've consented unless you look uncomfortable and are no longer willing to cooperate. (If so, that would be rape.) It's best to speak up in this situation.

Implied consent is much more common with familiar partners, but is ambiguous and open to misinterpretation, so I wouldn't completely rely on it. Verbally expressing consent or non-consent is best.
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Mohammed_80
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#8
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#8
(Original post by Anonymous)
Situation: let's say you are about to have sex. Getting undressed etc. But you're not sure if it should happen or if eaither of you two want it. But it's not a forced situation.
Is it still rape beacuse you're not sure you want sex (I guess it doenst have to be sex) even though it's not a forced situation.
If the thoughts makes you uncomfortable and whichever seems ready and you ain’t in your comfort zone with approval from both sides then yes that’s rape.
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Gavin2016
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#9
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#9
If you're both getting your clothes of in a room with the idea of sex in mind and neither of you changes their mind and says 'no' or similar or pushes the other one away in an obvious manner then I would say no it is not rape as I understand it and I would guess as the law interprets it.

That is the problem with the government having changed 'what is rape' as defined under the law years ago - it can lead to ambiguity. To my mind you can't really decide on sex go into it and because you were unsure or it didn't turn out as great as you had hoped for you to then think it's rape. The other person doesn't necessarily know you were unsure or didn't like something or just ended up in the moment.

Back in the day, decades ago rape seemed more to be classed as someone accosting someone and forcing sex upon them say in a park or public place. It normally was a pretty violent act possibly ending in murder of that person being raped as well. Now it seems to have just descended into 'hang ups' over not feeling right, being unsure, or not being felt like person had been treated right. Sure some people, usually guys used to be a bit horrible in the way they treated girls but usually the girl had consented first so it wasn't really rape.

The thing is that rape likely still carries a long prison sentence but my guess is the police are probably plagued with incidents where the girl is upset over how sex went down and alleges rape when it's probably pretty questionable whether it is rape. End of the day there wasn't really a sure thing that sex would be all that was hoped for and I think most girls knew that it was a case of taking the rough with the smooth that most stuff in life isn't supposed to be perfect. I think that's the problem today that trying to create a perfect world is actually causing more issues as a result as views over sex seem a lot more fickle these days. Back in the day sex was just sex to most.
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Jpw1097
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#10
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#10
(Original post by Anonymous)
Situation: let's say you are about to have sex. Getting undressed etc. But you're not sure if it should happen or if eaither of you two want it. But it's not a forced situation.
Is it still rape beacuse you're not sure you want sex (I guess it doenst have to be sex) even though it's not a forced situation.
The definition of rape does not require force to be used, although given the nature of the situation, force is usually used.

I think if you are not forced physically or pressured mentally and you are going along with it and have not said no, the other person would have no reason to believe that you are not giving consent. The law states that it is only rape if the perpetrator does not reasonably believe that the victim consents.
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gjd800
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#11
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#11
See here

And here regarding consent

False allegations are vanishingly rare, and the stats bear this out time and time again.
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londonmyst
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#12
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#12
In the uk it is rape when you refuse your sexual consent to penetration, the male party intentionally penetrates and does not reasonably believe that he has obtained sexual consent.
Last edited by londonmyst; 1 month ago
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Ciel.
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#13
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#13
(Original post by Anonymous)
Situation: let's say you are about to have sex. Getting undressed etc. But you're not sure if it should happen or if eaither of you two want it. But it's not a forced situation.
Is it still rape beacuse you're not sure you want sex (I guess it doenst have to be sex) even though it's not a forced situation.
yes you can still enjoy rape because you can't help your physical reactions

but the scanario in your actual post: no... you can't just expect your partner to read your mind. if you don't tell him, or show him in some way, you can't expect them to guess
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taylor2205
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#14
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#14
(Original post by Ciel.)
yes you can still enjoy rape because you can't help your physical reactions

but the scanario in your actual post: no... you can't just expect your partner to read your mind. if you don't tell him, or show him in some way, you can't expect them to guess
you cannot and should not assume consent.
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sufys
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#15
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(Original post by taylor2205)
you cannot and should not assume consent.
You can assume consent based on your sexual partner's actions. It'd be weird to have to say "yes" and "yes" every single time.
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Ciel.
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#16
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#16
(Original post by taylor2205)
you cannot and should not assume consent.
but it's natural to assume consent in the scenario described by the op - when you're about to have sex with someone etc. obviously they act like they are into you? most guys irl won't directly ask you once things get to a certain point, lol.
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sufys
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#17
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#17
(Original post by londonmyst)
In the uk is rape when you refuse your sexual consent to penetration, the male party intentionally penetrates and does not reasonably believe that he has obtained sexual consent.
This.

The legal term 'rape' is likely not applicable to OP's scenario.
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Apachecow
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#18
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#18
(Original post by sufys)
You can assume consent based on your sexual partner's actions. It'd be weird to have to say "yes" and "yes" every single time.
Absolutely. Can't think of anything more off-putting than "do you mind if I now......" for every single thing. Obviously either party can withdraw consent at any point, but once you've been kissing and removed clothes, you need to make it clear you've changed your mind. OP situation 100% not rape.
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gracieee16
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#19
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#19
i don't think it's rape... you have to say "no" and seem uncomfortable. ik what it feels like when u are forced it's disgusting tbh and im sorry if you felt uncomfortable. next time, say no if u dont want it
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Chl0e2104
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