Advice needed on whether to do medicine and life in general

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Anonymous #1
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Sorry for the rant in advance!!
A couple of years ago I was a relatively happy person mostly a A star student etc etc. Life started going on a miserable downfall ever since at the age of 14 I found out I was planned to have an arranged marriage and stay within my extremely strict Tamil/Indian culture overall. I started to nervously express my own opinions and this is when the domestic abuse started. They started to treat me like trash and emotionally disconnect from me and just not care about me in general and home was a horrible environment for me.

At school i struggled with friends and arguments and so since yr 11 I haven't had a proper friendship group or any support generally. Then at the age of 16 I met my Boyfriend who is the same religion as me but he's white and we have been dating in secret for over 2 years and it's a really healthy loving relationship but probably a year in my mother went through my phone and found out about him making my home life more abusive. Throughout the whole of sixth form I was severely bullied and still had no friends and by the time I was doing my A-levels I had severe anxiety and depression and although I tried seeking help it's just so hard with parents such as mine. I started to get Es right before my actual A levels and if I'm honest at time of writing I have done my exams but almost certainly know that i haven't done nearly as well as I want to.

As you might guess I am extremely terrified for results day especially because of my family, I find it difficult to even sleep at all. I actually kind of want to be a doctor as well but I wasn't allowed to apply due to my terrible mental health. But I know inevitable i wanna become a paedrition and to move in with my long term boyfriend. This is where I need advice IF i get the grades then I can either go to York to do Biomedical Sciences then go grad entry medicine or I can take a gap year and resit and reapply for medicine as people on TSR have advised me so it is much much likely i actually get in. The only issue I feel people don't understand is that if I don't go to York I will not see my Boyfriend for at least 4 years as my parents track me unless we go to the same university ofc ( He is also going to York) AND i will be stuck in my abusive house for another year and I don't know if i can even bear that.

However I am incredibly ashamed my bad Alevels are going to follow me around for the rest of my life and if people are right if i just take this offer i will probably never get into medicine in the future. So I am in a tricky spot and just need advice tbh. Do I go to York and put up with my bad grades and accept a different career so I can finally overcome my depression or do I stay and risk my severe depression getting worse but get my dream job and redeem myself?
I just want to be happy lol
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Sorry for the rant in advance!!
A couple of years ago I was a relatively happy person mostly a A star student etc etc. Life started going on a miserable downfall ever since at the age of 14 I found out I was planned to have an arranged marriage and stay within my extremely strict Tamil/Indian culture overall. I started to nervously express my own opinions and this is when the domestic abuse started. They started to treat me like trash and emotionally disconnect from me and just not care about me in general and home was a horrible environment for me.

At school i struggled with friends and arguments and so since yr 11 I haven't had a proper friendship group or any support generally. Then at the age of 16 I met my Boyfriend who is the same religion as me but he's white and we have been dating in secret for over 2 years and it's a really healthy loving relationship but probably a year in my mother went through my phone and found out about him making my home life more abusive. Throughout the whole of sixth form I was severely bullied and still had no friends and by the time I was doing my A-levels I had severe anxiety and depression and although I tried seeking help it's just so hard with parents such as mine. I started to get Es right before my actual A levels and if I'm honest at time of writing I have done my exams but almost certainly know that i haven't done nearly as well as I want to.

As you might guess I am extremely terrified for results day especially because of my family, I find it difficult to even sleep at all. I actually kind of want to be a doctor as well but I wasn't allowed to apply due to my terrible mental health. But I know inevitable i wanna become a paedrition and to move in with my long term boyfriend. This is where I need advice IF i get the grades then I can either go to York to do Biomedical Sciences then go grad entry medicine or I can take a gap year and resit and reapply for medicine as people on TSR have advised me so it is much much likely i actually get in. The only issue I feel people don't understand is that if I don't go to York I will not see my Boyfriend for at least 4 years as my parents track me unless we go to the same university ofc ( He is also going to York) AND i will be stuck in my abusive house for another year and I don't know if i can even bear that.

However I am incredibly ashamed my bad Alevels are going to follow me around for the rest of my life and if people are right if i just take this offer i will probably never get into medicine in the future. So I am in a tricky spot and just need advice tbh. Do I go to York and put up with my bad grades and accept a different career so I can finally overcome my depression or do I stay and risk my severe depression getting worse but get my dream job and redeem myself?
I just want to be happy lol
This is not an easy solution.

I think the best thing you can do is to leave your abusive family. Leave and don't look back. I know this is easier said than done.

As for doing biomedical sciences and doing graduate entry medicine, my advice (and many others) is always the same, never do another degree if your sole aim is to apply for graduate entry medicine. GEM is significantly more competitive than undergraduate medicine and so there is no guarantee that you would be accepted.
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