I didn't go to a top uni

Watch this thread
Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
I'm a graduate and I don't have a lot of friends. I didn't work hard during my A-levels and therefore couldn't go to a top uni. And I know people are going to tell me to suck it up and accept it, but I can't help but feel that I've missed out. I'm jealous of anyone who's been to a top uni because they probably have amazing friends and their career is taking off and I feel so terrible all of the time. I just need help getting over this and I don't know how to.
2
reply
black tea
Badges: 19
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#2
Report 1 month ago
#2
Sorry you feel this way. What makes you think that you would have made more friends at a top uni?
1
reply
_gcx
Badges: 21
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#3
Report 1 month ago
#3
If you did very well in your undergrad, have interest and have the cash to splash, you could always do a masters at a university you're more happy with.

I would say it's not a big deal though and it'll pass in time, but I know sometimes these "itches" just need to be scratched
Last edited by _gcx; 1 month ago
1
reply
Anonymous #1
#4
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#4
(Original post by black tea)
Sorry you feel this way. What makes you think that you would have made more friends at a top uni?
None of the people in my life are into the same things I am. I know it sounds shallow but I do want to be surrounded by intelligent people because there's so much to learn from them. Everyone in my life just cares about starting a family and it's so depressing. I feel like if I went to a top uni, I would have friends who care about what they're passionate about and they want to do something awesome in life.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#5
(Original post by _gcx)
If you did very well in your undergrad, have interest and have the cash to splash, you could always do a masters at a university you're more happy with.

I would say it's not a big deal though and it'll pass in time, but I know sometimes these "itches" just need to be scratched
I just don't think that doing a masters just to make friends would be a good idea. It's a lot of money and I can't afford to fail. I just want this feeling to pass but I don't know how else I can scratch this itch.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#6
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#6
You're right. As much as I hate telling myself that there's no guarantee that I wouldn't have been surrounded by pricks, I think lying to myself would help my mental health. Thank you.
0
reply
_gcx
Badges: 21
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#7
Report 1 month ago
#7
(Original post by Anonymous)
I just don't think that doing a masters just to make friends would be a good idea. It's a lot of money and I can't afford to fail. I just want this feeling to pass but I don't know how else I can scratch this itch.
is that your only reason? What is it about a top university that would've been so different wrt friends?
0
reply
Son of the Sea
Badges: 20
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#8
Report 1 month ago
#8
There’s no correlation whatsoever between going to a top uni and making lots of friends.
1
reply
Anonymous #2
#9
Report 1 month ago
#9
Best to be grateful with what you have bud
0
reply
The_Lonely_Goatherd
Badges: 20
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#10
Report 1 month ago
#10
If it helps to know, I went to Oxford, had a huge breakdown/nearly died, left with a 2.2 and severe mental health issues (still ongoing), and spent many years scraping by on PIP government benefits with no other income! :nopity: Got a small part-time job now, but the moral of the story is that going to a "top uni" doesn't equate success, safety, or happiness :nah:
3
reply
Anonymous #3
#11
Report 1 month ago
#11
Someone posted something very similar on TSR a week or so ago and they're at Oxford University. I think they're actually at my daughter's college! My daughter is having the time of her life and this person in her year feels the exact opposite. It's about luck, and it's about timing, but most of all it's about outlook. Tell yourself that the best is yet to come (really - keep reminding yourself of that) You're young, you've got the whole of your life ahead of you.
My advice is to follow your passions from now on and the right people (who share those passions) will come into your life. Forget the past, that's done. Regret is a waste of your time and energy.
1
reply
Blue_Cow
Badges: 22
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#12
Report 1 month ago
#12
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm a graduate and I don't have a lot of friends. I didn't work hard during my A-levels and therefore couldn't go to a top uni. And I know people are going to tell me to suck it up and accept it, but I can't help but feel that I've missed out. I'm jealous of anyone who's been to a top uni because they probably have amazing friends and their career is taking off and I feel so terrible all of the time. I just need help getting over this and I don't know how to.
You do not need to be an Oxbridge/LSE/Imperial graduate to have a successful career. Get on with it and start applying for graduate schemes and jobs and you will be surrounded by folks just as talented. Jealousy is not going to pay the bills or accelerate your career.
Last edited by Blue_Cow; 1 month ago
3
reply
domesticengineer
Badges: 14
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#13
Report 1 month ago
#13
I'm a parent here. Some of the most successful people I met in life didn't go to a top uni. Also I used to work for Oxfam and some of our volunteers were from top tier unis like Oxford and were volunteering with us because they couldn't get a job and did this to get some work experience. It doesn't always open doors and the grass isn't always greener. You've got a degree - now go out there and make the most of every opportunity you can. Try and get an opportunity (intern, volunteer or paid job) in a place that inspires you where you will meet like minded driven people.
0
reply
University of Liverpool Student Rep
Badges: 11
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#14
Report 1 month ago
#14
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm a graduate and I don't have a lot of friends. I didn't work hard during my A-levels and therefore couldn't go to a top uni. And I know people are going to tell me to suck it up and accept it, but I can't help but feel that I've missed out. I'm jealous of anyone who's been to a top uni because they probably have amazing friends and their career is taking off and I feel so terrible all of the time. I just need help getting over this and I don't know how to.
Hi there,

I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling like this, and really do hope your situation does get better for you.

I just wanted to put a post in the forum to highlight how some people's experiences may seem better because of social media and what they post on their forums - but often the grass is not greener on the other side! What helps me when I feel like people are having a better time than me somewhere else is to express gratitude for where I am now. I've found that I'm a lot less negative when I express gratitude, so I always try to make a list of things I'm grateful for in a situation.

I hope that's helpful, best of luck to you.
Ana - UOL Ambassador
1
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest

How confident are you that you'll achieve the grades you need to get into your firm uni?

I think I've exceeded the grades for my university offer (24)
18.32%
I think I've met the grades for my university offer (31)
23.66%
I think I've missed the grades for my university offer (71)
54.2%
Something else (tell us in the thread) (5)
3.82%

Watched Threads

View All