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I'm a graduate and I don't have a lot of friends. I didn't work hard during my A-levels and therefore couldn't go to a top uni. And I know people are going to tell me to suck it up and accept it, but I can't help but feel that I've missed out. I'm jealous of anyone who's been to a top uni because they probably have amazing friends and their career is taking off and I feel so terrible all of the time. I just need help getting over this and I don't know how to.
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black tea
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Sorry you feel this way. What makes you think that you would have made more friends at a top uni?
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_gcx
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If you did very well in your undergrad, have interest and have the cash to splash, you could always do a masters at a university you're more happy with.
I would say it's not a big deal though and it'll pass in time, but I know sometimes these "itches" just need to be scratched
I would say it's not a big deal though and it'll pass in time, but I know sometimes these "itches" just need to be scratched
Last edited by _gcx; 1 month ago
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(Original post by black tea)
Sorry you feel this way. What makes you think that you would have made more friends at a top uni?
Sorry you feel this way. What makes you think that you would have made more friends at a top uni?
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(Original post by _gcx)
If you did very well in your undergrad, have interest and have the cash to splash, you could always do a masters at a university you're more happy with.
I would say it's not a big deal though and it'll pass in time, but I know sometimes these "itches" just need to be scratched
If you did very well in your undergrad, have interest and have the cash to splash, you could always do a masters at a university you're more happy with.
I would say it's not a big deal though and it'll pass in time, but I know sometimes these "itches" just need to be scratched
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You're right. As much as I hate telling myself that there's no guarantee that I wouldn't have been surrounded by pricks, I think lying to myself would help my mental health. Thank you.
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_gcx
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I just don't think that doing a masters just to make friends would be a good idea. It's a lot of money and I can't afford to fail. I just want this feeling to pass but I don't know how else I can scratch this itch.
I just don't think that doing a masters just to make friends would be a good idea. It's a lot of money and I can't afford to fail. I just want this feeling to pass but I don't know how else I can scratch this itch.
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Son of the Sea
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There’s no correlation whatsoever between going to a top uni and making lots of friends.
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The_Lonely_Goatherd
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If it helps to know, I went to Oxford, had a huge breakdown/nearly died, left with a 2.2 and severe mental health issues (still ongoing), and spent many years scraping by on PIP government benefits with no other income! 
Got a small part-time job now, but the moral of the story is that going to a "top uni" doesn't equate success, safety, or happiness 
Got a small part-time job now, but the moral of the story is that going to a "top uni" doesn't equate success, safety, or happiness 
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#11
Someone posted something very similar on TSR a week or so ago and they're at Oxford University. I think they're actually at my daughter's college! My daughter is having the time of her life and this person in her year feels the exact opposite. It's about luck, and it's about timing, but most of all it's about outlook. Tell yourself that the best is yet to come (really - keep reminding yourself of that) You're young, you've got the whole of your life ahead of you.
My advice is to follow your passions from now on and the right people (who share those passions) will come into your life. Forget the past, that's done. Regret is a waste of your time and energy.
My advice is to follow your passions from now on and the right people (who share those passions) will come into your life. Forget the past, that's done. Regret is a waste of your time and energy.
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Blue_Cow
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm a graduate and I don't have a lot of friends. I didn't work hard during my A-levels and therefore couldn't go to a top uni. And I know people are going to tell me to suck it up and accept it, but I can't help but feel that I've missed out. I'm jealous of anyone who's been to a top uni because they probably have amazing friends and their career is taking off and I feel so terrible all of the time. I just need help getting over this and I don't know how to.
I'm a graduate and I don't have a lot of friends. I didn't work hard during my A-levels and therefore couldn't go to a top uni. And I know people are going to tell me to suck it up and accept it, but I can't help but feel that I've missed out. I'm jealous of anyone who's been to a top uni because they probably have amazing friends and their career is taking off and I feel so terrible all of the time. I just need help getting over this and I don't know how to.
Last edited by Blue_Cow; 1 month ago
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domesticengineer
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I'm a parent here. Some of the most successful people I met in life didn't go to a top uni. Also I used to work for Oxfam and some of our volunteers were from top tier unis like Oxford and were volunteering with us because they couldn't get a job and did this to get some work experience. It doesn't always open doors and the grass isn't always greener. You've got a degree - now go out there and make the most of every opportunity you can. Try and get an opportunity (intern, volunteer or paid job) in a place that inspires you where you will meet like minded driven people.
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University of Liverpool Student Rep
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm a graduate and I don't have a lot of friends. I didn't work hard during my A-levels and therefore couldn't go to a top uni. And I know people are going to tell me to suck it up and accept it, but I can't help but feel that I've missed out. I'm jealous of anyone who's been to a top uni because they probably have amazing friends and their career is taking off and I feel so terrible all of the time. I just need help getting over this and I don't know how to.
I'm a graduate and I don't have a lot of friends. I didn't work hard during my A-levels and therefore couldn't go to a top uni. And I know people are going to tell me to suck it up and accept it, but I can't help but feel that I've missed out. I'm jealous of anyone who's been to a top uni because they probably have amazing friends and their career is taking off and I feel so terrible all of the time. I just need help getting over this and I don't know how to.
I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling like this, and really do hope your situation does get better for you.
I just wanted to put a post in the forum to highlight how some people's experiences may seem better because of social media and what they post on their forums - but often the grass is not greener on the other side!
What helps me when I feel like people are having a better time than me somewhere else is to express gratitude for where I am now. I've found that I'm a lot less negative when I express gratitude, so I always try to make a list of things I'm grateful for in a situation.I hope that's helpful, best of luck to you.
Ana - UOL Ambassador
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