Being a muslim girl (is sometimes hard)

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Reply 20

VNS_3

Original post by pandalovesyouu

It’s not haram to have a boyfriend you just need to keep it halal how else are u going to find a husband ??

How do you do this?

Reply 21

pandalovesyouu

Original post by VNS_3

How do you do this?

Just talk and get to know each other eat out together and don’t have sex

Reply 22

Bradpa

I feel your desire but still having a boyfriend is not like the best thing in the world. Your parents care and are doing everything to protect you. You'll get one automatically when the time comes

Reply 23

VNS_3

Original post by pandalovesyouu

Just talk and get to know each other eat out together and don’t have sex

Is this acceptable in Islam?

Reply 24

VNS_3

Original post by Bradpa

I feel your desire but still having a boyfriend is not like the best thing in the world. Your parents care and are doing everything to protect you. You'll get one automatically when the time comes

Why isn't the best thing in the world?

Reply 25

pandalovesyouu

Original post by VNS_3

Is this acceptable in Islam?

Yes why not? It’s totally halal it’s only wrong from a cultural perspective. Ask yourself this, if a guy were to do everything I said would anybody bat an eye? No!

Reply 26

VNS_3

Original post by pandalovesyouu

Yes why not? It’s totally halal it’s only wrong from a cultural perspective. Ask yourself this, if a guy were to do everything I said would anybody bat an eye? No!

But there are differences between men and women in Islam. If you were a guy it's a different matter. But when you are a woman all the eyes are on you.

Reply 27

VNS_3

Original post by Anonymous

I was also like you (still am I think) but it’s just not worth it at all. I see my friend going out with their mr man’s and living it up but they lost something I still have which is my prayer so may Allah guide us alllll

Pardon me but I am not getting the comparison here. One is living their lives fully but they have lost their prayer to God?! Is this a good and reasonable argument? What if they are not praying anymore? I find it difficult to understand how you created this dilemma.

Reply 28

londonmyst

Original post by pandalovesyouu

Just talk and get to know each other eat out together and don’t have sex

The fundamentalist camp and many traditionalist followers of islam are fiercely committed to biological sex segregation in almost all spheres of daily life & a ban on free mixing within a social context.
Some even go as far as opposing eye contact between unmarried members of the opposite biological sex outside of the family.
Huge variety of different individual beliefs, sect teachings, exemptions and family traditions.

Reply 29

Anonymous #5

Original post by VNS_3

No comparison. This is how OP sees things (and other see things when they see other Muslims having fun and being happy). Going out with a guy on dates or whatever is seen desirable by many Muslims.

We only see things from the outside, more time we don’t care if they don’t pray or not coz unless they wanna change then they can. Nothing is good about not praying but that’s how the shaytaan works. You get a boyfriend and he makes you questions all the reasons why you shouldn’t carry on doing the good things you’re doing since you’re doing one massive sin

Reply 30

londonmyst

Original post by VNS_3

You can have a bf too.
All you have to do is ignore both the strict parents and religion.

This comes with significant risks if caught in terms of ending up homeless and personal safety.
Particularly for younger people who are entirely dependent upon religious traditionalist relatives to provide them with the basics (food/shelter) or vulnerable to criminal violence.

My mother was almost beaten to death and disinherited after she told her ultra-traditionalist religious family she was going to marry an atheist.
I use layers of heavy makeup to cover up all the scars and childhood injuries inflicted on me.
I wasn't allowed out alone when I was living with parents but got sneaky as a 16-17 year old and became an expert at climbing out of windows in heels at night & down roofs or drainpipes undetected.
If I had got caught, I'd either be permanently crippled or dead.

Reply 31

Anonymous #2

Original post by VNS_3

How will you find one if you don't try?
The usual arranged relationships and arranged marriages maybe?

Arranged relationships / marriages don’t exist anymore 🤣
Once you’re mature enough you can date in a halal manner not getting into haram sht. At a young age there’s no point on wasting time w/ dating. Focus until you’re mature and stable enough to maintain a relationship

Reply 32

VNS_3

Original post by Anonymous

But relationships are not allowed before marriage. Am I wrong?

Reply 33

Anonymous #2

Original post by VNS_3

But relationships are not allowed before marriage. Am I wrong?

Relationships are not allowed depending on how you view a relationship as. If your kissing / touching your partner it’s blatantly haram. If you’re more mature and halal about it you are able to maintain it in a halal form as long as it’s nothing to do with sexual desires.

Reply 34

londonmyst

Original post by Anonymous

Doesn't it also depend on the individual's stance on acceptable touching?
Many people view the platonic social greetings acceptable within their family between siblings, cousins, business partners, in laws, grandparents and parents as fine.
Like handshakes, hugs, kissing on the cheeks or kissing hands.

Reply 35

Anonymous #6

Original post by pandalovesyouu

It’s not haram to have a boyfriend you just need to keep it halal how else are u going to find a husband ??

oh yeah lets just ignore the countless scholars saying an intimate relationship before marriage is haram and the fact that a marriage with a foundation in zina (intimacy, whether s3xual or non s3xual) will not be blessed by allah, even if it is assumingly "made halal" by marriage.

Reply 36

Anonymous #2

Original post by londonmyst

Tbh. No one in this world can answer that question except allah. If you have good intentions, keeping your iman strong, then no one but allah can judge you. At the end of the day, allah is the only person that can judge you based on the actions done.

Reply 37

VNS_3

Original post by Anonymous

Ok. So relationships are not allowed which brings us to the arranged meetings and marriages. Relationships from a distance cannot happen.

Reply 38

VNS_3

Original post by londonmyst

Everything is forbidden as it seems.

Reply 39

londonmyst

Original post by VNS_3

Everything is forbidden as it seems.

It depends on sect traditions, lifestyle preferences and the personal interpretation of whoever you ask.
My maternal grandmother forbids electricity, secular sweets, painkillers, the telephone, remarriage after death of spouse and a few dozen other things.
She's a bible basher in her 80s and has been acting like a fire&brimstone spouting crank since she got married as a teenager.