Why do nice guys hardly find love

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bmdpost
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#1
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#1
Am so tired of being single n not meeting the right one
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Wannabevetnurse
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#2
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#2
Nice guys aren’t actually real. Everyone has an ulterior motive, even nice guys.
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Anonymous #1
#3
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#3
so every guy that I've talked to that says "I'm a nice guy, why cant i find someone?" often really isn't a nice guy. Ask someone brutally honest what they think about you. You might have a "woe is me" attitude that drives people away, basically a negative vibe that people dislike.
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Wannabevetnurse
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#4
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#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
so every guy that I've talked to that says "I'm a nice guy, why cant i find someone?" often really isn't a nice guy. Ask someone brutally honest what they think about you. You might have a "woe is me" attitude that drives people away, basically a negative vibe that people dislike.
PRSOM

it’s all good until she rejects you, and they started saying “I’m gonna be alone my entire lifeee” or other stupid ****. Just accept she’s already got someone or doesn’t want you
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Anonymous #2
#5
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#5
(Original post by Anonymous)
so every guy that I've talked to that says "I'm a nice guy, why cant i find someone?" often really isn't a nice guy. Ask someone brutally honest what they think about you. You might have a "woe is me" attitude that drives people away, basically a negative vibe that people dislike.
I totally agree by saying your a nice guy your not recognising your quirks and negative aspects that everyone has which can make you seem big headed, self confidence is important but everyone has something undesirable
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Dunnig Kruger
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#6
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#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
so every guy that I've talked to that says "I'm a nice guy, why cant i find someone?" often really isn't a nice guy. Ask someone brutally honest what they think about you. You might have a "woe is me" attitude that drives people away, basically a negative vibe that people dislike.
The vast majority of people that I've met that have said "I'm a nice guy, why can't I find someone?" have been nice guys. The sort of people that I'm very happy to have in my social circle.

bmdpost has made the right first step. He has moved from apathy to questioninng what's going on.
A good step from here would be to get professional help and guidance on this.
There are whole youtube channels made by dating / social skills professionals that give great advice for free on this. Bobby Rio talks about "typical nice guy behaviour" a lot.

I watched a couple of minutes of Dinner Date last night. It's an artificial situation because a camera crew was there for their date. But to me it was blindinly obvious that the guy was engaging in typical nice guy behaviour. And that he still might win her heart despite this. For example she served him a sloppy mess on toast as a starter. Instead of laughing and teasing her (in a nice way) about this he went into "this is delicious" mode.
It was clear from what each of them said privately to the camera that they were both looking for approval from the other person: "I hope he / she likes me" and all that.

Making the transformation from a nice guy that's unsuccessful with women to a nice guy that's successful (enough) with women is usually down to releasing some social conditioning programming.
Release seeking approval from others. Your own self approval is enough.
Release trying to come over as cool. Being real and genuine is better.
As well as understanding what women find attractive and what they don't find attractive.
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Huzam001
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#7
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#7
Because you ‘nice guys’ are the ones who keep making these kinds of threads. Everyone else is moving on with their lives.

You ever tried doing that?
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Anonymous #1
#8
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#8
(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
The vast majority of people that I've met that have said "I'm a nice guy, why can't I find someone?" have been nice guys. The sort of people that I'm very happy to have in my social circle.

bmdpost has made the right first step. He has moved from apathy to questioninng what's going on.
A good step from here would be to get professional help and guidance on this.
There are whole youtube channels made by dating / social skills professionals that give great advice for free on this. Bobby Rio talks about "typical nice guy behaviour" a lot.

I watched a couple of minutes of Dinner Date last night. It's an artificial situation because a camera crew was there for their date. But to me it was blindinly obvious that the guy was engaging in typical nice guy behaviour. And that he still might win her heart despite this. For example she served him a sloppy mess on toast as a starter. Instead of laughing and teasing her (in a nice way) about this he went into "this is delicious" mode.
It was clear from what each of them said privately to the camera that they were both looking for approval from the other person: "I hope he / she likes me" and all that.

Making the transformation from a nice guy that's unsuccessful with women to a nice guy that's successful (enough) with women is usually down to releasing some social conditioning programming.
Release seeking approval from others. Your own self approval is enough.
Release trying to come over as cool. Being real and genuine is better.
As well as understanding what women find attractive and what they don't find attractive.
To each their own, what I talked about was based on my own personal experience, while I do agree he has taken the first right step, the next few steps are incredibly important, he messes up, he might end up an incel, and I mean the urban dictionary kind. I do wish the best for OP, hopefully he will identify whatever is wrong and will grow into the kind of person he wants to be
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slowly_dying
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#9
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#9
women dont like "nice" guys
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Old Skool Freak
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#10
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#10
Genuine nice guys (good-guys) find love when the time is right for them
Self-proclaimed (so-called) "nice guys" don't find love because they're just weak and spineless and thinks the world owes them a living.
Last edited by Old Skool Freak; 1 month ago
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londonmyst
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#11
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#11
Because most of the self-proclaimed 'nice guys' are fakenice guys and their act fades very fast.
Usually after a very unpleasant reaction to seeing/hearing something they don't like or experiencing rejection and turning into a playground whiner.

Most people are not attracted to those with obvious: entitlement or respect agendas, a negative mindset, foul manners, delusional attitude about being a 'supreme gentleman', immature tendency to throw wild temper tantrums or enthusiasm for spouting toxic conspiracy theories and obsessing over manosphere nonsense.
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black tea
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#12
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#12
The fact you are single doesn't mean nice guys don't find love...
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Wired_1800
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#13
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#13
(Original post by bmdpost)
Am so tired of being single n not meeting the right one
Nice guys don't focus on themselves. They try to qualify to others at the expense of their own interests. As a result, girls use them and move on.
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Adz2042
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#14
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#14
look at it this way:

nice guys don't get the nice or bad girls.

bad guys get the bad girls + attract the nice girls.

nice girls complain that they want a good guy, yet always seem to date bad guys who they think they can change into 'nice guys', but it rarely works.

bad girls go for anyone that isn't nice.
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Wired_1800
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#15
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#15
(Original post by Adz2042)
look at it this way:

nice guys don't get the nice or bad girls.

bad guys get the bad girls + attract the nice girls.

nice girls complain that they want a good guy, yet always seem to date bad guys who they think they can change into 'nice guys', but it rarely works.

bad girls go for anyone that isn't nice.
The key for no guys to not be nice or a doormat.
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zuluwarrior7650
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#16
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#16
Cuz u stuppeeeeeeed
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Max1989
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#17
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#17
Because if you feel being nice defines you then you have nothing that defines you. You simply aren't interesting. Doesn't mean you shouldn't be a "nice guy" but you need to be YOU first if that means not always being "nice "then good as at least you are being genuine. You just lack substance, being nice and being liked is how you make freinds not relationships there needs to be more substance.
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Kovalensky
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#18
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#18
Idk what kind of girls wouldn't want a nice guy. I think all would or at least most would if they're past puberty.

That is however, IF you have other qualities too. Like nice, considerate, thoughtful are great qualities. But if you're really shy and don't talk to women they're not gonna flock to you, you aren't cheesecake on display at the shop (they do flock to those apparently)

So be nice obviously, not being nice isn't an advantage despite what some people may say. The reason why some not nice men are popular is because htey have other qualities. Great body, confidence, flirting skills, flattery, great liars, etc. Ye if you got these, you can easily find girls even if you're not nice. But if you're nice plus you have great body, confidence, flirt well, humour... NO woman would pick the liar and flatterer over that.

Follow me for more pink pill advice.
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xox416
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#19
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#19
I love nice guys.
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YaliaV123
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#20
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#20
(Original post by Anonymous)
so every guy that I've talked to that says "I'm a nice guy, why cant i find someone?" often really isn't a nice guy. Ask someone brutally honest what they think about you. You might have a "woe is me" attitude that drives people away, basically a negative vibe that people dislike.
Yes. They come across as whiny, entitled and creepy.
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