being used..

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#1
Some background information..
When I was in a relationship bout 3 years back a new kid came into my school and was in my class and all and i had a crush on him. Looking back im finding excuses to why i liked him and i know its wrong but it kind of make sense. my boyfriend at that time...i just didn't feel like he was rlly being a boyfriend with me, he acted more like an object i'd carry around, he would be so quiet and literally i needed to think about the possible convos i could have with him...the night before!

Then, this new kid and i rlly hit it off we went on flirting with each other and everything and he was so sweet, and in the end me and my boyfriend at that time had a mutual breakup. Then, i swear to god that i never knew this, but apparently he had a girlfriend and once i found out i kinda stopped the playful banter and flirts that we had. but then they broke up and around this time this new kid and i have known each other for like 6 months. another 2 months later, he asked me if i wanted him to be my first kiss, and prior to this all our texts to each other has been like really dirty things (i was in a bad place b4 i knew him). And so i agreed cuz i really liked him. And slowly a kiss became more than a kiss and literally the whole package.. All of my firsts was with him. We ain't together or anything and he doesn't want to be together, because he says relationships takes too much commitment and honestly his last relationship didn't end so well (his gf accused him of r4pe). We have been going on for bout 3 years now, and he is leaving in august ... I would really miss him cuz i feel this emotional attachment to him and its just so overwhelming..

Is there like something I can do ???
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Adz2042
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#2
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#2
nothing you can do if he's leaving to go somewhere in august.
just text / call over whatsapp every day/2 days or so, and flirt with him if you really miss him.
guessing he is coming back or is he actually leaving you / the country forever? - go with him if that's where your heart is.
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Anonymous #1
#3
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#3
(Original post by Adz2042)
nothing you can do if he's leaving to go somewhere in august.
just text / call over whatsapp every day/2 days or so, and flirt with him if you really miss him.
guessing he is coming back or is he actually leaving you / the country forever? - go with him if that's where your heart is.
naw he going to another school.. we still 16 i aint eloping with him ahahah
thats the thing... he doesn't like flirt via text much anymore i literally get one word responses everytime.. its like i've given up flirting via text...and he was always careful with flirting with me in school...
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Adz2042
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#4
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#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
naw he going to another school.. we still 16 i aint eloping with him ahahah
thats the thing... he doesn't like flirt via text much anymore i literally get one word responses everytime.. its like i've given up flirting via text...and he was always careful with flirting with me in school...
so he's been your first for like everything, incl sex?
is the other school far from where you live/study? you'll still be able to meet up on weekends, right?
if you get a one-worded response, it might be an idea to try and find someone who will give you more attention, and treat you properly with dates and fun things to do.
he's either shy in school or doesn't want people to know he and you are dating. maybe ask him why he won't flirt with you in school.
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Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#5
(Original post by Adz2042)
so he's been your first for like everything, incl sex?
is the other school far from where you live/study? you'll still be able to meet up on weekends, right?
if you get a one-worded response, it might be an idea to try and find someone who will give you more attention, and treat you properly with dates and fun things to do.
he's either shy in school or doesn't want people to know he and you are dating. maybe ask him why he won't flirt with you in school.
he's moving to a diff country with a 7 hour time diff(i think)... im not sure bout the time diff...
yeah he has been my first everything incl sex and everything before it too..
we aren't dating and i know why he doesn't flirt with me in school but it just sucks liek the reason
and its not like i dont wanna date him.. i guess he just wants smtg casual... but i cant even find someone after he leaves for smtg casual or even for smtg real (which i rlly want motr than the casual)
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Anonymous #2
#6
Report 4 weeks ago
#6
Talk (not text) to him about what you want and find out what he wants. If you want a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship tell him and don't accept it if all he is willing to give is crumbs.

It will be hard, especially because he is your first, but a clean break might be easier in the end. It will leave you free to pursue a more normal relationship, if that is what you want, with someone else.

All of my firsts was with him.

You can have another first with him, the first time you don't accept less than you are worth.
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Adz2042
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#7
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#7
(Original post by Anonymous)
he's moving to a diff country with a 7 hour time diff(i think)... im not sure bout the time diff...
yeah he has been my first everything incl sex and everything before it too..
we aren't dating and i know why he doesn't flirt with me in school but it just sucks liek the reason
and its not like i dont wanna date him.. i guess he just wants smtg casual... but i cant even find someone after he leaves for smtg casual or even for smtg real (which i rlly want motr than the casual)
Oh wow, yeah, the time difference will be difficult to manage.
I know it sucks, but trust me, I'm sure you're a very beautiful and smart girl with a lot of potentials.
you'll find someone when he leaves. have confidence.
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Adz2042
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#8
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#8
(Original post by Anonymous)
Some background information..
When I was in a relationship bout 3 years back a new kid came into my school and was in my class and all and i had a crush on him. Looking back im finding excuses to why i liked him and i know its wrong but it kind of make sense. my boyfriend at that time...i just didn't feel like he was rlly being a boyfriend with me, he acted more like an object i'd carry around, he would be so quiet and literally i needed to think about the possible convos i could have with him...the night before!

Then, this new kid and i rlly hit it off we went on flirting with each other and everything and he was so sweet, and in the end me and my boyfriend at that time had a mutual breakup. Then, i swear to god that i never knew this, but apparently he had a girlfriend and once i found out i kinda stopped the playful banter and flirts that we had. but then they broke up and around this time this new kid and i have known each other for like 6 months. another 2 months later, he asked me if i wanted him to be my first kiss, and prior to this all our texts to each other has been like really dirty things (i was in a bad place b4 i knew him). And so i agreed cuz i really liked him. And slowly a kiss became more than a kiss and literally the whole package.. All of my firsts was with him. We ain't together or anything and he doesn't want to be together, because he says relationships takes too much commitment and honestly his last relationship didn't end so well (his gf accused him of r4pe). We have been going on for bout 3 years now, and he is leaving in august ... I would really miss him cuz i feel this emotional attachment to him and its just so overwhelming..

Is there like something I can do ???
reach out if you need to talk or anything.
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LillyTeganLavSul
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#9
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#9
(Original post by Anonymous)
Some background information..
When I was in a relationship bout 3 years back a new kid came into my school and was in my class and all and i had a crush on him. Looking back im finding excuses to why i liked him and i know its wrong but it kind of make sense. my boyfriend at that time...i just didn't feel like he was rlly being a boyfriend with me, he acted more like an object i'd carry around, he would be so quiet and literally i needed to think about the possible convos i could have with him...the night before!

Then, this new kid and i rlly hit it off we went on flirting with each other and everything and he was so sweet, and in the end me and my boyfriend at that time had a mutual breakup. Then, i swear to god that i never knew this, but apparently he had a girlfriend and once i found out i kinda stopped the playful banter and flirts that we had. but then they broke up and around this time this new kid and i have known each other for like 6 months. another 2 months later, he asked me if i wanted him to be my first kiss, and prior to this all our texts to each other has been like really dirty things (i was in a bad place b4 i knew him). And so i agreed cuz i really liked him. And slowly a kiss became more than a kiss and literally the whole package.. All of my firsts was with him. We ain't together or anything and he doesn't want to be together, because he says relationships takes too much commitment and honestly his last relationship didn't end so well (his gf accused him of r4pe). We have been going on for bout 3 years now, and he is leaving in august ... I would really miss him cuz i feel this emotional attachment to him and its just so overwhelming..

Is there like something I can do ???
i so know how u feel girllll xx
it sucks, ive been through this so many times its unbelievable, but ive always found coping methods to get over every single guy ive liked/dated, want some advice???
keep urself busy - very busy
think of reasons why it wouldnt have worked out
is there a flaw about him that u didnt like?
exercise. exercise really helps mentally as well as physically, try it xx
Holly dolke is a rlly good fitness trainer on youtube.

Honestly, i so know how u feel cuz ive been used. This guy wanted sex with me, always asking me for it, and then i said no cuz i was 'busy'
but in reality, i was scared. and now he lives in brunei, but he's coming back next year for college, but i've loved him since yr 7, but i dont anymore cuz last year in november, i tried killing myself. it didnt work. i just ended up in hospital for three weeks
any more advice, just ask, always here 2 help xx
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LillyTeganLavSul
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#10
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#10
also, this guy that i was with in march, he sexually assulted me, but i still loved him, and he was like that guy...he didnt want a relationship, but
he was happy enough 2 grope me down the corridor and send me nudes, but tbh, im still not over him x
ngl.

(Original post by LillyTeganLavSul)
i so know how u feel girllll xx
it sucks, ive been through this so many times its unbelievable, but ive always found coping methods to get over every single guy ive liked/dated, want some advice???
keep urself busy - very busy
think of reasons why it wouldnt have worked out
is there a flaw about him that u didnt like?
exercise. exercise really helps mentally as well as physically, try it xx
Holly dolke is a rlly good fitness trainer on youtube.

Honestly, i so know how u feel cuz ive been used. This guy wanted sex with me, always asking me for it, and then i said no cuz i was 'busy'
but in reality, i was scared. and now he lives in brunei, but he's coming back next year for college, but i've loved him since yr 7, but i dont anymore cuz last year in november, i tried killing myself. it didnt work. i just ended up in hospital for three weeks
any more advice, just ask, always here 2 help xx
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Surnia
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#11
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#11
Why did you title this "being used"? I can't see anything to indicate that.

What you need to do about this boy is nothing, and concentrate on your education; there's plenty of time for guys in the future when you are mature enough to be in a relationship. You thought you were being grown-up, but got involved with someone at 13, talked dirty and had (underage?) sex with someone who has made it clear that's all he wants. He'll probably find some other sucker to sweet talk into sleeping with him once he moves. What did you expect?
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LillyTeganLavSul
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#12
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#12
(Original post by Surnia)
Why did you title this "being used"? I can't see anything to indicate that.

What you need to do about this boy is nothing, and concentrate on your education; there's plenty of time for guys in the future when you are mature enough to be in a relationship. You thought you were being grown-up, but got involved with someone at 13, talked dirty and had (underage?) sex with someone who has made it clear that's all he wants. He'll probably find some other sucker to sweet talk into sleeping with him once he moves. What did you expect?
AGREE!!!!
im concentrating on my education now, guys aren't worth it, and they're bound 2 break ur hearts x
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Anonymous #1
#13
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#13
(Original post by LillyTeganLavSul)
i so know how u feel girllll xx
it sucks, ive been through this so many times its unbelievable, but ive always found coping methods to get over every single guy ive liked/dated, want some advice???
keep urself busy - very busy
think of reasons why it wouldnt have worked out
is there a flaw about him that u didnt like?
exercise. exercise really helps mentally as well as physically, try it xx
Holly dolke is a rlly good fitness trainer on youtube.

Honestly, i so know how u feel cuz ive been used. This guy wanted sex with me, always asking me for it, and then i said no cuz i was 'busy'
but in reality, i was scared. and now he lives in brunei, but he's coming back next year for college, but i've loved him since yr 7, but i dont anymore cuz last year in november, i tried killing myself. it didnt work. i just ended up in hospital for three weeks
any more advice, just ask, always here 2 help xx
I didnt go as much as to killing myself..
like i know im being used but it just its so…idk how to even say it
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Anonymous #1
#14
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#14
(Original post by Surnia)
Why did you title this "being used"? I can't see anything to indicate that.

What you need to do about this boy is nothing, and concentrate on your education; there's plenty of time for guys in the future when you are mature enough to be in a relationship. You thought you were being grown-up, but got involved with someone at 13, talked dirty and had (underage?) sex with someone who has made it clear that's all he wants. He'll probably find some other sucker to sweet talk into sleeping with him once he moves. What did you expect?
I titled it that cuz all my friends were saying that im being used by him…like back then i actually thought that we had a chance tgt until like 1.5 years ago…
14…i had my first kiss with him at that age, but only lost my v card like october last year.
Most of my friends say im being used cuz i literally rearrange my schedule so that we could meet up. He would like recently say things like cuz he is going to an all boys college or smtg and so he wants to have a last with me or wtv crap till uni where he finds someone else or wtv.
But he gets all jealous when im talking to another guy or when im not at the cafeteria during lunch with my friends and he goes asking if im doing it with someone else …but he doesnt wanna date… but he has this type of jealousy it makes me so confused like…
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LillyTeganLavSul
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#15
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#15
omggg girll
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Anonymous #1
#16
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#16
(Original post by LillyTeganLavSul)
omggg girll
😂😂y?
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Surnia
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#17
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#17
(Original post by Anonymous)
I titled it that cuz all my friends were saying that im being used by him…like back then i actually thought that we had a chance tgt until like 1.5 years ago…
14…i had my first kiss with him at that age, but only lost my v card like october last year.
Most of my friends say im being used cuz i literally rearrange my schedule so that we could meet up. He would like recently say things like cuz he is going to an all boys college or smtg and so he wants to have a last with me or wtv crap till uni where he finds someone else or wtv.
But he gets all jealous when im talking to another guy or when im not at the cafeteria during lunch with my friends and he goes asking if im doing it with someone else …but he doesnt wanna date… but he has this type of jealousy it makes me so confused like…
The jealousy isn't a good trait. However, you aren't being used if you know all this and still go along with it. You were a 13yo who thought it was cool and grown-up to have a guy hanging around and sleep with him, without understanding exactly what it involved, and you're exactly the same at 16. You don't know what a true relationship is about, especially the communication and partnership aspects. Let him go and move on.
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Anonymous #1
#18
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#18
(Original post by Surnia)
The jealousy isn't a good trait. However, you aren't being used if you know all this and still go along with it. You were a 13yo who thought it was cool and grown-up to have a guy hanging around and sleep with him, without understanding exactly what it involved, and you're exactly the same at 16. You don't know what a true relationship is about, especially the communication and partnership aspects. Let him go and move on.
Actually had proper relationships b4 me and this guy got serious so..basically before last yr october, and i was in my happiest moments till like my last ex which was after i knew this guy. But when i was with my last ex, i stopped all communication with this guy…
*ahahah sadly sleeping with him isnt an accurate way of describing us..ive never done it on an actual bed and its just… sigh…
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Surnia
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#19
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#19
(Original post by Anonymous)
Actually had proper relationships b4 me and this guy got serious so..basically before last yr october, and i was in my happiest moments till like my last ex which was after i knew this guy. But when i was with my last ex, i stopped all communication with this guy…
*ahahah sadly sleeping with him isnt an accurate way of describing us..ive never done it on an actual bed and its just… sigh…
^^ That is confusing to read. But it's incredibly rare to have 'proper relationships' at 13/14/15yo because teenage brains aren't developed, and certainly not when it's multiples, because it means none of them lasted any length of time. How is it 'serious' when it's just physical? You said this guy doesn't date you, so how do you get to know each?
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Anonymous #1
#20
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#20
(Original post by Surnia)
^^ That is confusing to read. But it's incredibly rare to have 'proper relationships' at 13/14/15yo because teenage brains aren't developed, and certainly not when it's multiples, because it means none of them lasted any length of time. How is it 'serious' when it's just physical? You said this guy doesn't date you, so how do you get to know each?
hahhaa hai had some anaesthesia or wtv u spell it in my blood when i was typing that
i mean yeah...that makes sense... and it wasn't like i wanted multiples.. the heartbreak is so.. hurts everytime..
but its always the guys who set their eyes on other girls and 2 time me.. or a guy being way too controlling to the point where i aint allowed to contact/call my friends and i would cry eveyrnight cuz he blames alot of things on me and just dehumanizes me and blames me for the fact i dont have a v card anymore when in fact its my choice...
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