Am I wrong for blocking them?

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Anonymous #1
#1
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#1
It was my birthday a few days ago, and my best friend since childhood didn’t even bother to come and see me when they live close by. They made an excuse up after they’d promise they’d come and see me. It was a milestone birthday too, I turned 21. Not only this, on their special day I was genuinely unwell with a migraine and grin and bared it, to spend time with them and still got ignored for their other friend. Am I in the wrong for blocking them? I wanted to take myself away from their energy because it totally has me down. Plus there’s a lot of small things they’ve done which has really affected me, and this, it honestly really hurt me, they’ve never missed my birthday before and haven’t even text me to apologise for not coming or to arrange another day. There honestly was so excuse. Even worse they make so much effort for other people, but act like I don’t matter when I’ve always made their day so special. What would you have done in this situation. I feel so guilty for blocking them, but I feel like our friendship it’s always me making an effort.
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srija08
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#2
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#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
It was my birthday a few days ago, and my best friend since childhood didn’t even bother to come and see me when they live close by. They made an excuse up after they’d promise they’d come and see me. It was a milestone birthday too, I turned 21. Not only this, on their special day I was genuinely unwell with a migraine and grin and bared it, to spend time with them and still got ignored for their other friend. Am I in the wrong for blocking them? I wanted to take myself away from their energy because it totally has me down. Plus there’s a lot of small things they’ve done which has really affected me, and this, it honestly really hurt me, they’ve never missed my birthday before and haven’t even text me to apologise for not coming or to arrange another day. There honestly was so excuse. Even worse they make so much effort for other people, but act like I don’t matter when I’ve always made their day so special. What would you have done in this situation. I feel so guilty for blocking them, but I feel like our friendship it’s always me making an effort.
I would say, do not block them yet! First talk to them! There may even be some misunderstandings on their side. Just talk it out first even though it is difficult, let them know what they have made you feel but do not block them yet because remember, it is easy to break a relationship quickly but building relationships take time and a lot of effort so, it is best to just talk to them and let them know how they made you feel
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srija08
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#3
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#3
(Original post by srija08)
I would say, do not block them yet! First talk to them! There may even be some misunderstandings on their side. Just talk it out first even though it is difficult, let them know what they have made you feel but do not block them yet because remember, it is easy to break a relationship quickly but building relationships take time and a lot of effort so, it is best to just talk to them and let them know how they made you feel
Hope that helps and best wishes
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Anonymous #1
#4
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(Original post by srija08)
Hope that helps and best wishes
I appreciate your response so much, unfortunately I have told them countless times about how they treat me makes me feel and at one point they even said “ I’ve realised I take you for granted “ which I don’t think they realised it’s kind of offensive. I only get one 21st birthday, there was opportunity to see me before hand but there was no effort made. It’s just so sad, because I always make effort for them, it’s just never reciprocated. I see things from both perspectives, and consider their feelings in the situation but they make it all about themselves unfortunately or take no interest and just agree with everything I say, instead of expressing points or their feelings, or just say “ I get what you mean”. It was very kind of you to offer your advice, it’s very much appreciated. Thank you so much
(Original post by srija08)
I would say, do not block them yet! First talk to them! There may even be some misunderstandings on their side. Just talk it out first even though it is difficult, let them know what they have made you feel but do not block them yet because remember, it is easy to break a relationship quickly but building relationships take time and a lot of effort so, it is best to just talk to them and let them know how they made you feel
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londonmyst
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#5
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#5
No- you are not wrong if you are absolutely certain that a friendship with them brings little that is positive to your life and know that they have been lying to you.

Trust your gut instinct and listen to what your common sense is telling you.
Remember that life is too short to waste your valuable time and emotions on those that don't deserve any.
Good luck!
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Anonymous #2
#6
Report 1 month ago
#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
It was my birthday a few days ago, and my best friend since childhood didn’t even bother to come and see me when they live close by. They made an excuse up after they’d promise they’d come and see me. It was a milestone birthday too, I turned 21. Not only this, on their special day I was genuinely unwell with a migraine and grin and bared it, to spend time with them and still got ignored for their other friend. Am I in the wrong for blocking them? I wanted to take myself away from their energy because it totally has me down. Plus there’s a lot of small things they’ve done which has really affected me, and this, it honestly really hurt me, they’ve never missed my birthday before and haven’t even text me to apologise for not coming or to arrange another day. There honestly was so excuse. Even worse they make so much effort for other people, but act like I don’t matter when I’ve always made their day so special. What would you have done in this situation. I feel so guilty for blocking them, but I feel like our friendship it’s always me making an effort.
I would say no to blocking them ! Myself im terrible with remembering dates and birthdays lol , I tend to only remember either the day or day before but I love ALL my friends and family so much and always do favours they just understand that stuff like that is my flaw. Maybe just talk to her she might have something going on in the background that's making her act differently x
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Anonymous #1
#7
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I would say no to blocking them ! Myself im terrible with remembering dates and birthdays lol , I tend to only remember either the day or day before but I love ALL my friends and family so much and always do favours they just understand that stuff like that is my flaw. Maybe just talk to her she might have something going on in the background that's making her act differently x
I totally understand, and that is a good point, sadly she did know and I think it’s the fact it was a special birthday which upset me. There was no offer to rearrange something with me or any apology for cancelling. They did it to our other friend too when it was his birthday we offered to pick them up and they said “ no I’m staying home” , but then she goes out partying and drinking with friends from a different group, so we’ve 100% been forgotten about. It’s sad when you outgrow friends.
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Anonymous #3
#8
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#8
Unless you are American, 21st is not an important birthday (legal drinking age for USA).
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Anonymous #1
#9
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#9
(Original post by londonmyst)
No- you are not wrong if you are absolutely certain that a friendship with them brings little that is positive to your life and know that they have been lying to you.

Trust your gut instinct and listen to what your common sense is telling you.
Remember that life is too short to waste your valuable time and emotions on those that don't deserve any.
Good luck!
That’s true, it’s more excuses than lies but I’m a very intuitive person and I just know some of the things are literally just excuses. It’s what they’ve always done sadly, this isn’t just a one time thing. I love when I see this person but I haven’t seen them since their birthday about 10 months ago. But I always feel disappointed, and I’ve cried so many times due to not being invited to plans or not being treated how they treats their other friends. It’s like an actual huge energy drain to maintain the friendship because I feel like it’s all me making effort, and even maintain conversation. It’s horrible to outgrow your friends but I’ve came so far the last few years after having a few traumatic experiences I don’t want to jeopardise that. The thing is, I have to consider is that they are a sweet person and I actually just think that, that’s them as a person and it’s just their personality/ it isn’t intentional making me feel how they do. Although I have told them lots of times.
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londonmyst
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#10
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#10
(Original post by Anonymous)
Unless you are American, 21st is not an important birthday (legal drinking age for USA).
16, 18, 21 and 100 are widely viewed as very important birthdays in the UK.
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Mr Anderson1997
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#11
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#11
(Original post by Anonymous)
It was my birthday a few days ago, and my best friend since childhood didn’t even bother to come and see me when they live close by. They made an excuse up after they’d promise they’d come and see me. It was a milestone birthday too, I turned 21. Not only this, on their special day I was genuinely unwell with a migraine and grin and bared it, to spend time with them and still got ignored for their other friend. Am I in the wrong for blocking them? I wanted to take myself away from their energy because it totally has me down. Plus there’s a lot of small things they’ve done which has really affected me, and this, it honestly really hurt me, they’ve never missed my birthday before and haven’t even text me to apologise for not coming or to arrange another day. There honestly was so excuse. Even worse they make so much effort for other people, but act like I don’t matter when I’ve always made their day so special. What would you have done in this situation. I feel so guilty for blocking them, but I feel like our friendship it’s always me making an effort.
Block & delete!

say stop...

:talkhand:
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iL1L
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#12
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#12
You are not wrong to block them. You have realised that they are making you feel worse, and you are putting yourself first, which is important especially after not having done so before and seeing the consequences. It's a hard decision maybe, but I believe you have done the correct thing :hugs:
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