The Student Room Group
Reply 1
I don't think you sound like a bitch! Intimacy in relationships is really important to a lot of people and I know I wouldn't be able to be in a relationship if there wasn't any. I do think you need to decide what's most important to you though, as in another thread on here at the moment. Is it your love for your current boyfriend or is it just the sex you crave?

Does he get 'in the mood' through anything else? I know that probably doesn't sound nice to you ... but it maybe a general problem rather than it being just you. If he does get turned on by other stuff, perhaps try something new in bed? I can't give sex tips or anything, nor am I an expert!!

I wouldn't go back to your ex though. An ex is an ex for a reason, and when I tried to get back with an ex, it wasn't pleasant! You need to really explain your thoughts and feelings about this to your boyfriend if you haven't done so already?
Reply 2
Nothing I try works. With my ex, we'd always try new things, but with my boyfriend he's just so insecure (his ex was nightmare, screwed the poor guy up) and worries he'll do something wrong.

And no, he doesn't (as far as I know). He just blames it on a really low sex drive. it makes me so, so unattractive, but lots of other guys pay me attention and I turn them down because I love him. i have such a high sex drive, it's horrible to put up with.

The awful thing is, part of me just wants to sleep with my ex, and stay with my boyfriend. I would NEVER do that, it just makes me feel so guilty that I even think about it.
Reply 3
Have you ever used a vibrator? Would that help you and him maybe?

Perhaps because of his ex, he really does have a lot of insecurities and it will take a lot of time to heal, although I know you've been together a year. You need to reassure him that he won't do anything wrong and sex should be fun, no harm in laughing at yourself if things don't go to plan. That's hard of course, I'm guilty of that but it shouldn't be something he stresses about, and maybe he needs to speak to someone about it?

(Hope this doesn't break rules...!)
Reply 4
I did try and laugh about things at first. My now I just get so upset, I even try and stop initiating anything. Although, he feels like he has to live up to my ex, because he knew me while I was with him and how physical we were. So i think he compares himself to him. I always say that he's much better than my ex, and that I love him more than anything, but theres only so much I can take.

And yeah, that might help, but I don't think he'd like the idea of it :frown: