Had my first accident and don't feel confident to drive anymore

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SongBird2020
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#1
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#1
So for the first time after passing my test a year ago, I went up one of those ramps of a multi storage car park, I forgot to change down to 1st gear as I was going up the ramp, the car was struggling to go up in 2nd gear. I quickly changed down to 1st gear but it was too late, the car seemed to have given up and stalled so I rolled back and slammed straight into another car behind me. There was no damage caused to the other car so they just gave me an angry look and drove off. My back bumper now has a massive crack on the back and I just feel like I can't do hill starts anymore. I get nervous when people are waiting behind me and that's probably why I rolled back. I now feel scared to get back behind the wheel in case something like that happens again, luckily nobody was injured but that could have been a child or a pedestrian walking behind the car before it rolled back....So I can't forgive myself for this stupid mistake. I reported the incident to my insurer even though the other person drove off but now my insurance premiums are sure to rise sky high since it was my fault..so I just feel like giving up completely with driving. Does anyone have any tips to get my confidence in driving back?
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domonict
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#2
Report 4 weeks ago
#2
The old adage is “fall off a horse, get back on”

All I can suggest is to find somewhere quiet to drive and avoid similar situations until you feel more confident. Maybe find a car park ramp that is open to all for free and practice?
Don’t let a small prang out you off.

It was your fault - you should anticipate rolling back but panic can set in. Be better prepared and as above, practice.
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StriderHort
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#3
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#3
Okay.. this is your 4th thread on this, you've already had it explained several times that your premium will not significantly increase without a claim.

Tbh you just need to get back out there, the reality is that you broke a bit of plastic and nothing is hurt but your feelings (and we're talking about a bumper, it's just done it's job). You should work on your reactions to events, as a stall can happen for any number of reasons, but the trick is to catch it with the brake at once before the car significantly moves and to plan your next move.

I totalled my 2nd car right into a traffic light, but tbh I could have likely avoided the crash If I had the experience to stop the skid or even brake correctly. till then I'd really only been braking in controlled/test circumstances. The best thing I did was jump in another car and go out driving again the same day as I had things needing done, so it left no time for the shock and block to my confidence to fester.

(If you stalled on the ramp, how did the other driver drive off anyway?)
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jaffacakes12
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#4
Report 4 weeks ago
#4
Well at least you're physically okay even if the car is a little damaged.
Everyone else is right, unless you have an actual claim your insurance premiums can't go up

As for hill starts and being secure on hills, use your handbrake!!!! It doesn't matter if it takes you a couple more seconds or minutes to get going, your safety and that of those behind you is very important. If the person behind is impatient ignore them!! You're honestly doing them a favour by taking your time 😂
Using your handbrake for other stops is also a really good idea as you know your car is secure and it'll restore your confidence knowing you can't roll and hit someone

Just remember to take off your handbrake with a little bit of gas (if you've got a petrol) when you want to get moving!!
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jaffacakes12
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#5
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#5
Also, I don't think the situation was as much of your fault as you think it is.

The car behind has a duty to keep a reasonable distance from you. If you've rolled back slightly (as is natural on a hill) and then hit him he was probably far to close anyway.

Almost always the car behind is at fault
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SongBird2020
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#6
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#6
(Original post by StriderHort)
Okay.. this is your 4th thread on this, you've already had it explained several times that your premium will not significantly increase without a claim.

Tbh you just need to get back out there, the reality is that you broke a bit of plastic and nothing is hurt but your feelings (and we're talking about a bumper, it's just done it's job). You should work on your reactions to events, as a stall can happen for any number of reasons, but the trick is to catch it with the brake at once before the car significantly moves and to plan your next move.

I totalled my 2nd car right into a traffic light, but tbh I could have likely avoided the crash If I had the experience to stop the skid or even brake correctly. till then I'd really only been braking in controlled/test circumstances. The best thing I did was jump in another car and go out driving again the same day as I had things needing done, so it left no time for the shock and block to my confidence to fester.

(If you stalled on the ramp, how did the other driver drive off anyway?)
Yeah I know... I'm sorry I just have really bad anxiety and tend to overthink things which is why I am seeking help from a counsellor. I do know how to do hill starts since I can do them at traffic lights without even thinking most times. It's just the fact that I wasn't sure whether to stop or continue to try and get the car up the ramp in 2nd gear. By the time I realised my mistake it was just too late. You are correct, I should have used my handbrake straight away but I think it's because I never went up a multi storage car park in my life, I just didn't know what to do. They didn't teach any of that in my driving lessons ( even tough yes it probably is common sense)
After I hit the car, I went back into first, applied the handbrake and tried to move up the hill again but the car would just keep moving back So what happened? was it a mechanical failure or did I just put too much stress on the gearbox or something idk? The car works fine on hills now though, it's just in that situation it didn't for some odd reason. i wish i could blame the car but i think I did something to make it not work momentarily.
In terms of the other driver driving off, he reversed back so I could reverse my car from the hill as he saw I was struggling to get up. So I had to park my car away so it's not obstructing everyone else, then I went to get his insurance details but he drove off and I couldn't find him anywhere.
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SongBird2020
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#7
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#7
(Original post by jaffacakes12)
Also, I don't think the situation was as much of your fault as you think it is.

The car behind has a duty to keep a reasonable distance from you. If you've rolled back slightly (as is natural on a hill) and then hit him he was probably far to close anyway.

Almost always the car behind is at fault
The car was literally up my backside as I was moving up the hill, he saw I was struggling and I still had a P plate so he should have given me more space. But unfortunately as always in this situation it's always the person who rolled back's fault since I lost control of the car and it shouldn't have happened. Maybe he drove off because he thought he was somewhat responsible? I do know how to do hill starts it's just when places are busy and people are waiting behind me etc, my nerves just take over. Either way I do need to take it as a learning experience but I just feel like *** atm because if I'm too nervous i'm simply a danger to other people on the road.
Last edited by SongBird2020; 4 weeks ago
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SongBird2020
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#8
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#8
(Original post by StriderHort)
Okay.. this is your 4th thread on this, you've already had it explained several times that your premium will not significantly increase without a claim.

Tbh you just need to get back out there, the reality is that you broke a bit of plastic and nothing is hurt but your feelings (and we're talking about a bumper, it's just done it's job). You should work on your reactions to events, as a stall can happen for any number of reasons, but the trick is to catch it with the brake at once before the car significantly moves and to plan your next move.

I totalled my 2nd car right into a traffic light, but tbh I could have likely avoided the crash If I had the experience to stop the skid or even brake correctly. till then I'd really only been braking in controlled/test circumstances. The best thing I did was jump in another car and go out driving again the same day as I had things needing done, so it left no time for the shock and block to my confidence to fester.

(If you stalled on the ramp, how did the other driver drive off anyway?)
Also your accident was really not that bad compared to mine since yours didn't involve another person. Mine did and I still feel guilt and regret.
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jaffacakes12
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#9
Report 4 weeks ago
#9
(Original post by SongBird2020)
The car was literally up my backside as I was moving up the hill, he saw I was struggling and I still had a P plate so he should have given me more space.
Yeah see, that man should never have been "up your backside" regardless of the situation, and you're right as someone with P plates he should have expected you to struggle and taken appropriate action to save himself.
So It's not your fault despite the fact you feel it is that

My words probably don't reassure you much, but if the man genuinely believed you to be at fault he would have stopped and demanded your details or at least had some kind of a go at you 🤷🏻*♀️
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jaffacakes12
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#10
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#10
, my nerves just take over. Either way I do need to take it as a learning experience but I just feel like *** atm because if I'm too nervous i'm simply a danger to other people on the road.


First thing, if you were such a danger on the road you would not have your license. They do hand those things out willy nilly 😂

Secondly, good! The fact you see this as a learning experience is good. It's obviously a very scary experience and not something you would ever want to happen, but you're better off learning from it within the first year of having your licence than in 4 years time when it'll probably have a bigger effect on your confidence.

If you feel really scared being completely independent then ask someone you trust to drive with you. I was driving with my dad 2 weeks ago when I couldn't get the car into reserve and finish the turn in the road. It took more than 5 minutes of me struggling- and yes I cried cos many people beeped at me- but then we stopped the car and he and I swapped, and he drove the rest of the way home. It doesn't sound helpful to have someone else drive for you, but it meant I could relax, see how someone else stays calm in the situation and it means I'm not over exerting myself again as my dad is making me do small drives with him often so that I can get used to the car on my own whilst knowing there's always help next to me if I need it. It's building up my confidence because I don't actually want to use his help so I'm trying to drive as expertly as I can. It means yes I am making mistakes but I'm getting over them in a much faster way then if I was completely on my own having a breakdown at the end of the high street
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SongBird2020
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#11
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#11
(Original post by jaffacakes12)
, my nerves just take over. Either way I do need to take it as a learning experience but I just feel like *** atm because if I'm too nervous i'm simply a danger to other people on the road.


First thing, if you were such a danger on the road you would not have your license. They do hand those things out willy nilly 😂

Secondly, good! The fact you see this as a learning experience is good. It's obviously a very scary experience and not something you would ever want to happen, but you're better off learning from it within the first year of having your licence than in 4 years time when it'll probably have a bigger effect on your confidence.

If you feel really scared being completely independent then ask someone you trust to drive with you. I was driving with my dad 2 weeks ago when I couldn't get the car into reserve and finish the turn in the road. It took more than 5 minutes of me struggling- and yes I cried cos many people beeped at me- but then we stopped the car and he and I swapped, and he drove the rest of the way home. It doesn't sound helpful to have someone else drive for you, but it meant I could relax, see how someone else stays calm in the situation and it means I'm not over exerting myself again as my dad is making me do small drives with him often so that I can get used to the car on my own whilst knowing there's always help next to me if I need it. It's building up my confidence because I don't actually want to use his help so I'm trying to drive as expertly as I can. It means yes I am making mistakes but I'm getting over them in a much faster way then if I was completely on my own having a breakdown at the end of the high street
Thank you for your nice words of encouragement and for sharing your similar experiences. Hopefully I can slowly get my confidence back on the road. I do know how to drive, It's just that I need to really work on my anxiety
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jaffacakes12
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#12
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#12
(Original post by SongBird2020)
Thank you for your nice words of encouragement and for sharing your similar experiences. Hopefully I can slowly get my confidence back on the road. I do know how to drive, It's just that I need to really work on my anxiety
It's alright

Anxiety is so frustrating, but you will get over it and regain your driving confidence soon enough x

Good luck!! X
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IL2001
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#13
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#13
(Original post by SongBird2020)
The car was literally up my backside as I was moving up the hill, he saw I was struggling and I still had a P plate so he should have given me more space. But unfortunately as always in this situation it's always the person who rolled back's fault since I lost control of the car and it shouldn't have happened. Maybe he drove off because he thought he was somewhat responsible? I do know how to do hill starts it's just when places are busy and people are waiting behind me etc, my nerves just take over. Either way I do need to take it as a learning experience but I just feel like *** atm because if I'm too nervous i'm simply a danger to other people on the road.
Look, you can move on from this but please know this was YOUR fault and if YOU had acted correctly this would't have happened.

Improve your driving and dont try to blame anything and everything else.

Be lucky you dont have a claim against you because believe me this would have been found 100% YOUR fault.
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SongBird2020
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#14
Report Thread starter 6 days ago
#14
(Original post by IL2001)
Look, you can move on from this but please know this was YOUR fault and if YOU had acted correctly this would't have happened.

Improve your driving and dont try to blame anything and everything else.

Be lucky you dont have a claim against you because believe me this would have been found 100% YOUR fault.
Not once did I deny that it wasn't my fault. Of course it was my fault and I accept responsibility. As I mentioned, the person who rolled back (which was me) is always at fault rather than the person who got hit. I'm an extremely anxious person and going into a busy multi storage car park with ramps and cars waiting behind me for the very first time was an extremely nerve racking experience for me which is why this probably happened.

I was just saying that I was quite shocked and surprised at the other drivers behaviour. Of course he was angry and he has every right to be. But its not normal for the person not at fault to just drive off from an accident without even opening his mouth or exchanging contact details and I was just wondering why that could be...
Last edited by SongBird2020; 6 days ago
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Muttley79
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#15
Report 6 days ago
#15
(Original post by SongBird2020)
Not once did I deny that it wasn't my fault. Of course it was my fault and I accept responsibility. As I mentioned, the person who rolled back (which was me) is always at fault rather than the person who got hit. I'm an extremely anxious person and going into a busy multi storage car park with ramps and cars waiting behind me for the very first time was an extremely nerve racking experience for me which is why this probably happened.

I was just saying that I was quite shocked and surprised at the other drivers behaviour. Of course he was angry and he has every right to be. But its not normal for the person not at fault to just drive off without even opening his mouth or exchanging contact details and I was just wondering why that could be...
Personally I would never go up a ramp if the person ahead had not cleared it ...

I hope you've been able to put this behind you
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