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I dont know what to do-depression, dropping out of uni watch

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    hi

    So im in my first year of uni, its a uni and course i dont like at all. I became really depressed after A level results and have been feeling crappy for a while. i have been to the doctors about the depression, but am waiting for a place in counselling which is taking AGES. So the depression is still present and not helping matters. Regarding uni, i just hate it all. Ive only attended one or two seminars for each module so am really behind. I dont have the money to buy the textbooks so i cant do much reading at all. I also have no friends at the uni. Mainly because i havent been there enough to make friends, but also i didnt really get on with anyone on the course as just 17 people. Ive spoken to my parents about the depression and they just said i was just being difficult, despite being formally diagnosed as depressed. Also i said i really wanted to drop out, but they said i couldnt come home if i did drop out and they wouldnt want anything to do with me if i did. On top of that my old friends have all made loads of friends at their unis and are getting on fine. they havent even bothered replying to my texts. My parents make me feel like an idiot because they keep saying 'why are you such a dissapointment. you cant even get good Alevels or go to uni. Everyone else your age can go to uni and do well. Your just a lazy cow' Which is making things really worse. So i cant drop out, but im so far behind that id fail anyway. I hate it there and have no friends. I just feel like my life has no focus or path to follow like everyone else i know and i just dont know what to do. Has anyone got any advice? id be really grateful as i cant stop crying right now
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    firstly, massive hugs.

    secondly, you need to take advantage of support services. I recieve support from my doctor, counselling, disability support at the uni and department for my depression.

    Try joining some socieites, they are a really good way of making friends :-)

    First step, go see your doctor :-)
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    Echo what random bloke said, plus, go to the library, you should be able to get the course books there so you don't need to buy anything.
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    Well, i spoke to my personal tutor and course leader at uni and said about the depression and that i was unhappy etc. But tbh they didnt offer any help or support and just pretty much said deal with it. The waiting list for the counseeling there is longer than the doctors one that im waiting for so i am just going to stick with waiting for that. I just feel really alone with it all I also applied for some emergency funding from uni but they refused my application and wouldnt even give me £100.
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    Hi there, sounds like your parents are being pretty harsh to to be honest. I don't think your friends are ignoring you, maybe your just thinking to much into it.

    I'm not sure what to say really. I guess you've just got to be determined and try and make the most of it. You've got a great opportunity to learn about the course and yourself so might as well give it a try. You could try going to lectures and set goals like talking to 3 new people each time or something? Or maybe join a couple of societies. They'll be full of people with similar interests who you could get along with better.

    Good Luck

    p.s. when i'm feeling down I find listening to a good bit of Bob Marley makes me feel loads better! (No Woman No Cry on youtube).
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    With depression, you are very liable to over think, and all rational thought goes out the window. You need to stay around people, locking yourself off will make you a million times worse.

    Libraries are there to be used and abused, so take advantage.

    There are sites, and helplines that you can call for free if you need someone to talk too. You're really not alone. If you need to make more friends, joining a society, or even creating one is a really great way to make them.

    Good luck, and you're really not alone.
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    (Original post by RedRiotRoses)
    With depression, you are very liable to over think, and all rational thought goes out the window. You need to stay around people, locking yourself off will make you a million times worse.

    Libraries are there to be used and abused, so take advantage.

    There are sites, and helplines that you can call for free if you need someone to talk too. You're really not alone. If you need to make more friends, joining a society, or even creating one is a really great way to make them.

    Good luck, and you're really not alone.
    The bit in bold is one of the big problems. I just mentally stop myself from doing anything and just shut myself off from anything and anyone. Once i get in this state i just end up spending my days crying and i hate myself for doing it but i cant stop it.

    I know i just want to drop out, but i think the depression may take away any drive i have for getting a job and the last thing i need is to be not doing anything. i just cant see it getting any easier because i just go through all possibilities in my head and none of them are happy and show a positive future
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    hi

    So im in my first year of uni, its a uni and course i dont like at all. I became really depressed after A level results and have been feeling crappy for a while. i have been to the doctors about the depression, but am waiting for a place in counselling which is taking AGES. So the depression is still present and not helping matters. Regarding uni, i just hate it all. Ive only attended one or two seminars for each module so am really behind. I dont have the money to buy the textbooks so i cant do much reading at all. I also have no friends at the uni. Mainly because i havent been there enough to make friends, but also i didnt really get on with anyone on the course as just 17 people. Ive spoken to my parents about the depression and they just said i was just being difficult, despite being formally diagnosed as depressed. Also i said i really wanted to drop out, but they said i couldnt come home if i did drop out and they wouldnt want anything to do with me if i did. On top of that my old friends have all made loads of friends at their unis and are getting on fine. they havent even bothered replying to my texts. My parents make me feel like an idiot because they keep saying 'why are you such a dissapointment. you cant even get good Alevels or go to uni. Everyone else your age can go to uni and do well. Your just a lazy cow' Which is making things really worse. So i cant drop out, but im so far behind that id fail anyway. I hate it there and have no friends. I just feel like my life has no focus or path to follow like everyone else i know and i just dont know what to do. Has anyone got any advice? id be really grateful as i cant stop crying right now
    i hate my uni too, and i have had depression since year 12. I know the feeling.
    First thing-no matter how much you want to, don't kill yourself, u won't get a second chance.
    I had suisidal feelings all the way through year 12, now i am through it i am glad i didn't.
    I got help within 3 weeks, they say it takes ages but it doesn't, trust me. Just tell them u feel reall really down, suggest that you are so down that you feel life is not worth living(but don't say it, otherwise they might put u on watch)
    Don't worry, after about 6 sessions, u will beging to recover.
    As for uni, drop out if u really hate it, reapply next year is always good. I am changing mine next year, so i have to stick this year out.
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    First things first- I think you should go back to your doctor and explain that you feel that things aren't getting any better at all and ask if there's a way you could be pushed up on the waiting list. Is there any way you could take your parents with you as well? Maybe if they spoke to a professional they'd realise that you aren't being lazy and that you are mentally ill right now.

    With the crying- I was like that for quite a while. It helped me to be around people. When it was the holidays my mum took me out whenever she could even if it was just for a walk.
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    (Original post by hannah_dru)
    First things first- I think you should go back to your doctor and explain that you feel that things aren't getting any better at all and ask if there's a way you could be pushed up on the waiting list. Is there any way you could take your parents with you as well? Maybe if they spoke to a professional they'd realise that you aren't being lazy and that you are mentally ill right now.

    With the crying- I was like that for quite a while. It helped me to be around people. When it was the holidays my mum took me out whenever she could even if it was just for a walk.
    Well im worried that the counselling that they have got me on the waiting list for is the wrong type, it doesnt seem to be as much about depression as its part of the local YMCA which is for homeless people and im not homeless. When i got the letter i was expecting something a bit more 'proper' for want of a better word. Also i dont think my parents will ever understand. i showed them the doctors note and they just said that i had acted to get an excuse Which is stupid because i really dont want to be this way at all. And with the crying, its so much and i just cry at times when before i wouldnt have dreamed of crying, like in public. :o:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    The bit in bold is one of the big problems. I just mentally stop myself from doing anything and just shut myself off from anything and anyone. Once i get in this state i just end up spending my days crying and i hate myself for doing it but i cant stop it.

    I know i just want to drop out, but i think the depression may take away any drive i have for getting a job and the last thing i need is to be not doing anything. i just cant see it getting any easier because i just go through all possibilities in my head and none of them are happy and show a positive future
    Yeah, that sounds like me too. It's one of the hardest things in the world, but just getting up, going out, DOING IT, will make you so much better. I know it's hard, trust me i really do. You can stop it, but it does take the strength of Hercules on steriods.

    You don't want to drop out, trust me you really don't.
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    See if you can find out what the counselling is there- cos it does sound a bit odd. If its not what you wanted ask to go on the NHS waiting list.

    That's a shame. I know a lot of people who've never been through depression who don't get it. Is there anyone else you can turn to?

    I know. I cried so much last year in front of everyone. But you can't help it.
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    I know how you feel. I'm about to drop out too. I need a job or I'll die.
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    (Original post by hannah_dru)
    See if you can find out what the counselling is there- cos it does sound a bit odd. If its not what you wanted ask to go on the NHS waiting list.

    That's a shame. I know a lot of people who've never been through depression who don't get it. Is there anyone else you can turn to?

    I know. I cried so much last year in front of everyone. But you can't help it.
    ive looked on the website for it and it doesnt seem to be NHS or anything. it more seems to be a youth club and its counseeling for upto 18yr olds. im 18 but i dont really fit the criteria thats on their website as it is homelessness and people kicked out of school of which neither are me. Plus i got one letter from them which i had to text them :confused: and then they said they would text me an appointment which just doesnt seem to be the thing im looking for.

    I dont really think there is anyone i can turn to. i have no friends at uni, my old friends are all at different unis and my family dont want to listen to it. I guess thats why i turn to TSR :o:
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    Ahhh I see, sounds a bit like what I attended. It scared the **** out of me and I didn't think it was the right place but the counsellor was great. You could give it a go and see what happens cos you never know. But it wouldn't hurt to see if you could attend an NHS based one.

    TSR is good! You can always PM me if you want.
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    I was feeling how you are just a month ago. I now feel a lot more positive so I'll try to help you.

    When you are depressed you spend your whole time thinking about what you don't want to have/do or be. Its not surprising that you feel awful if you only think of awful things and expect awful things.

    I started to get better when I realised that there was something in particular that I really wanted. I knew if I was ever going to get it I would have to spend my time thinking about how to get it, rather than thinking about all the things I didn't like about my life.

    Your present situation is only temporary, and if focus you on what you want in the future and believe that you can have it, you will realise that the bad things in your life will soon disappear to be replaced by better things.

    Nobody wants you to be unhappy, unsuccessful and unfulfilled, everybody and everything wants to give you what you really want. So focus on what you really want, not what you don't want.

    Our thoughts affect our environment: if you think of good things you will attract good things, if you think of bad things you will attract bad things.

    I would not advise having counselling or taking anti-depressants. Counselling will require you to talk about all the things you don't like, which will keep you feeling down and stop you from moving forward. Anti-depressants will just remind you of depression every time you take them.

    Don't identify with depression. Don't identify with the things you don't like in your life. Everything is moving towards a better future. Focus on the good things in your present environment, and the good things you want for the future, and your life will improve.

    I hope this helps.
 
 
 
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