I feel like I am missing out...
I just feel like I am missing out on my life... I just finished my second year of uni and had a great year. I went out a lot, did well in exams, made loads of new friends etc. it was pretty much a perfect year for me. Now that it is summer, I am seeing EVERYONE abroad and I have no such plans as all my friends are either abroad with their families or international students.
I just feel like the pandemic has made my family very lazy travel-wise. We used to go on big holidays once or twice a year, and now, the most exciting holiday we had was a holiday park somewhere in Cornwall. My sister doesn't even want to go to concerts and basically refuses to leave the house so I can't even go to the local shops with anyone. It's always the same reason- I don't feel like it.
Like, I know this sounds spoilt and my parents are very hard working but it just seems like after covid, they kinda just lost their adventurous spirit and overthink everything and then regret not going to certain places. I've talked to them and it's the same reply of 'oh we'll go later' but later doesn't ever seem to arrive. I don't want my parents to complain down the line that they wasted their time and should have traveled more post covid and if they do, I will get really angry because I have mentioned to them that they are being paranoid for nothing. They both have had covid, have the vaccine, and are young, healthy people, yet still, they have this crippling fear of the virus that only they seem to have and overthink about it.
Now by the nature of my degree, after this summer, I will only have one more summer to actually be with them before basically being tied to work and I just don't think they realize that I will not be able to go to places with them for much longer and will be traveling solo from next year onwards.
Idk, it just feels like I am missing out this summer like literally everyone and their mother is going on holiday and I don't know if its because covid restrictions lifted and everyone is going on holiday or if its always been like this and because I was going too, I didn't realize how lonely summers can be when you have no holiday plans.
I just feel like the pandemic has made my family very lazy travel-wise. We used to go on big holidays once or twice a year, and now, the most exciting holiday we had was a holiday park somewhere in Cornwall. My sister doesn't even want to go to concerts and basically refuses to leave the house so I can't even go to the local shops with anyone. It's always the same reason- I don't feel like it.
Like, I know this sounds spoilt and my parents are very hard working but it just seems like after covid, they kinda just lost their adventurous spirit and overthink everything and then regret not going to certain places. I've talked to them and it's the same reply of 'oh we'll go later' but later doesn't ever seem to arrive. I don't want my parents to complain down the line that they wasted their time and should have traveled more post covid and if they do, I will get really angry because I have mentioned to them that they are being paranoid for nothing. They both have had covid, have the vaccine, and are young, healthy people, yet still, they have this crippling fear of the virus that only they seem to have and overthink about it.
Now by the nature of my degree, after this summer, I will only have one more summer to actually be with them before basically being tied to work and I just don't think they realize that I will not be able to go to places with them for much longer and will be traveling solo from next year onwards.
Idk, it just feels like I am missing out this summer like literally everyone and their mother is going on holiday and I don't know if its because covid restrictions lifted and everyone is going on holiday or if its always been like this and because I was going too, I didn't realize how lonely summers can be when you have no holiday plans.
Like they don't even want to go to the beach, the surrounding areas, etc. all we do is go the local shopping centre, waste time, and come back. Like I am very surprised they turned into this to be completely honest, my family has always been a very spontaneous and adrenaline junkie type but now when I ask 'why don't you guys ever want to do anything anymore' I never get a clear reply and always get told 'we will'. Like they're wasting precious time without even realizing it and then I just know they will regret it later on.
My sister is 16 and all she does is go on her phone and use Tiktok/ Snapchat, she won't even have a proper conversation with me without scrolling through her phone. My parent are both early 40s so they're basically in the prime of their lives and they're just indoors, lounging in front of the tv, on their phones, etc. I think covid has really mellowed them all and aged them way more, like what kind of 16-year-old says no to a free concert? or the opportunity to do road trips, etc. It just seems like none of them have any other interests anymore other than their screens. I can't even go to places alone because my mum is scared something will happen to me or she's scared I'll get covid again.
It's just so frustrating watching them all turn into this. Their lives only seem to be work, home, sleep, eat, repeat. They haven't even left the house this entire week other than to go to work or school.
My sister is 16 and all she does is go on her phone and use Tiktok/ Snapchat, she won't even have a proper conversation with me without scrolling through her phone. My parent are both early 40s so they're basically in the prime of their lives and they're just indoors, lounging in front of the tv, on their phones, etc. I think covid has really mellowed them all and aged them way more, like what kind of 16-year-old says no to a free concert? or the opportunity to do road trips, etc. It just seems like none of them have any other interests anymore other than their screens. I can't even go to places alone because my mum is scared something will happen to me or she's scared I'll get covid again.
It's just so frustrating watching them all turn into this. Their lives only seem to be work, home, sleep, eat, repeat. They haven't even left the house this entire week other than to go to work or school.
Dude I haven't been on holiday in 10 years lmao
Unfortunately, there's not much you can do if they don't feel like going to these places or doing these things. It's their right.
"I will get really angry because I have mentioned to them that they are being paranoid for nothing. They both have had covid, have the vaccine, and are young, healthy people, yet still, they have this crippling fear of the virus that only they seem to have and overthink about it."
I can understand your frustration, but their concerns are their own and they are valid. Getting angry and calling them 'paranoid for nothing' is quite unfair.
It is frustrating when people are glued to technology, but not wanting to go out can be a sign of some other issues. It may be that your sister is anxious, for example. Just a suggestion.
Although you are not out on holiday, it might be a good idea to do a bit of reflection and finding things you are grateful for. As I said, there's not much you can do if your parents refuse to take you. Your wellbeing is important, however, and you need to take the time to do things you enjoy. Do you have any friends you can meet up with?
"I will get really angry because I have mentioned to them that they are being paranoid for nothing. They both have had covid, have the vaccine, and are young, healthy people, yet still, they have this crippling fear of the virus that only they seem to have and overthink about it."
I can understand your frustration, but their concerns are their own and they are valid. Getting angry and calling them 'paranoid for nothing' is quite unfair.
It is frustrating when people are glued to technology, but not wanting to go out can be a sign of some other issues. It may be that your sister is anxious, for example. Just a suggestion.
Although you are not out on holiday, it might be a good idea to do a bit of reflection and finding things you are grateful for. As I said, there's not much you can do if your parents refuse to take you. Your wellbeing is important, however, and you need to take the time to do things you enjoy. Do you have any friends you can meet up with?
(edited 1 year ago)
Yeah, I do get it. I think it's just the frustration of seeing everyone else go abroad whilst being stuck at home and all your friends being out of the country/ too busy with internships etc. I just hate going to the same holiday park over and over again, it was fine last year because we hadn't really been anywhere so to even get the opportunity to have a day or two away from home was good but since then, we've been to that exact same park 2-3 times and anytime I bring up the idea of going somewhere it's like 'oh let's go there, it'll be fun. Like yeah, it's fine but again it just feels like the effort to go anywhere has gone and they've fallen into this weird routine where anything remotely foreign or requiring logistical effort is just not being made.
The last 'holiday' we went on was them coming to stay the night at my flat in my uni city. We did that and when I tried suggesting doing something a bit different (literally just going to the sightseeing point) they were like no let's go shopping like it was literally exactly the same thing we do at home just in my uni city. They went into the same 2 shops we always go to, came back to my flat and back on their phones.
idk its just super frustrating, I do have FOMO so I think that is playing into it a bit. My mum especially has this idea of 'I don't need anyone to the point where she doesn't even sit with her colleagues (who happen to be her closest friends) at work and then wonders why they hang out without her. We all used to go out on these fun days out with all of our family friends but now, because she's low-key isolated herself from them, we don't even get asked to these things anymore.
I think covid has traumatized them a lot tbh, we did lose a few family members so I do understand the fear and anxiety over it but its like they're refusing to move on from the fact that the rest of the world has moved on from it and are stuck in the 'we need to stay in the country otherwise we are not safe' mindset and cannot move on from it.
This entire thing sounds extremely childish and spoilt I know, I just hate that I feel like this especially because they do genuinely try and make the staycataions fun for us but like I am no longer at an age where I enjoy that anymore and I don't think they realize it. I am apparently too young to go abroad by myself so cannot even do these things by myself or with friends. The last time I met up with my friend, there were 4 phone calls within 3 hours of me leaving the home, telling me to come back asap.
Its probably just a clash of mindsets, covid aged the rest of my family and they now prefer the comfort of their own homes/ hate doing something different whereas for me its the total opposite where I want to do all of the things I couldn't and the idea of willingly staying at home is not sitting right with me. The adventurous side of them is gone and I'm just having a hard time accepting that, when I was at the comfort of my own home stage a few years ago, they dragged me to all of these places but now when I am calling them out on being like that, they are just laughing it off.
The last 'holiday' we went on was them coming to stay the night at my flat in my uni city. We did that and when I tried suggesting doing something a bit different (literally just going to the sightseeing point) they were like no let's go shopping like it was literally exactly the same thing we do at home just in my uni city. They went into the same 2 shops we always go to, came back to my flat and back on their phones.
idk its just super frustrating, I do have FOMO so I think that is playing into it a bit. My mum especially has this idea of 'I don't need anyone to the point where she doesn't even sit with her colleagues (who happen to be her closest friends) at work and then wonders why they hang out without her. We all used to go out on these fun days out with all of our family friends but now, because she's low-key isolated herself from them, we don't even get asked to these things anymore.
I think covid has traumatized them a lot tbh, we did lose a few family members so I do understand the fear and anxiety over it but its like they're refusing to move on from the fact that the rest of the world has moved on from it and are stuck in the 'we need to stay in the country otherwise we are not safe' mindset and cannot move on from it.
This entire thing sounds extremely childish and spoilt I know, I just hate that I feel like this especially because they do genuinely try and make the staycataions fun for us but like I am no longer at an age where I enjoy that anymore and I don't think they realize it. I am apparently too young to go abroad by myself so cannot even do these things by myself or with friends. The last time I met up with my friend, there were 4 phone calls within 3 hours of me leaving the home, telling me to come back asap.
Its probably just a clash of mindsets, covid aged the rest of my family and they now prefer the comfort of their own homes/ hate doing something different whereas for me its the total opposite where I want to do all of the things I couldn't and the idea of willingly staying at home is not sitting right with me. The adventurous side of them is gone and I'm just having a hard time accepting that, when I was at the comfort of my own home stage a few years ago, they dragged me to all of these places but now when I am calling them out on being like that, they are just laughing it off.
Original post by Anonymous
Like they don't even want to go to the beach, the surrounding areas, etc. all we do is go the local shopping centre, waste time, and come back. Like I am very surprised they turned into this to be completely honest, my family has always been a very spontaneous and adrenaline junkie type but now when I ask 'why don't you guys ever want to do anything anymore' I never get a clear reply and always get told 'we will'. Like they're wasting precious time without even realizing it and then I just know they will regret it later on.
My sister is 16 and all she does is go on her phone and use Tiktok/ Snapchat, she won't even have a proper conversation with me without scrolling through her phone. My parent are both early 40s so they're basically in the prime of their lives and they're just indoors, lounging in front of the tv, on their phones, etc. I think covid has really mellowed them all and aged them way more, like what kind of 16-year-old says no to a free concert? or the opportunity to do road trips, etc. It just seems like none of them have any other interests anymore other than their screens. I can't even go to places alone because my mum is scared something will happen to me or she's scared I'll get covid again.
It's just so frustrating watching them all turn into this. Their lives only seem to be work, home, sleep, eat, repeat. They haven't even left the house this entire week other than to go to work or school.
My sister is 16 and all she does is go on her phone and use Tiktok/ Snapchat, she won't even have a proper conversation with me without scrolling through her phone. My parent are both early 40s so they're basically in the prime of their lives and they're just indoors, lounging in front of the tv, on their phones, etc. I think covid has really mellowed them all and aged them way more, like what kind of 16-year-old says no to a free concert? or the opportunity to do road trips, etc. It just seems like none of them have any other interests anymore other than their screens. I can't even go to places alone because my mum is scared something will happen to me or she's scared I'll get covid again.
It's just so frustrating watching them all turn into this. Their lives only seem to be work, home, sleep, eat, repeat. They haven't even left the house this entire week other than to go to work or school.
It's upto your family what they want to do. Can you not just walk out and do anything with your friends? I doubt your parents are going to wrestle you to the ground if you try to go. Plus you're an adult so it's common when you're younger you go on holidays etc with family but when you grow up its often parents don't do it. Would you even be paying if you went with your family? If you would then go with friends, you're an adult not a 12 year old kid who's sneaking out of the house, you aren't going to get grounded.
Then be proactive and plan something yourself.
Be grateful that you've even been lucky enough to experience family holidays; not everyone has that luxury.
Be grateful that you've even been lucky enough to experience family holidays; not everyone has that luxury.
Please, don't feel pressured to do something just because someone else does this. **** them.
On the other hand, yes. I hate it myself. I wish I had something going on in my life.
On the other hand, yes. I hate it myself. I wish I had something going on in my life.
I think I had one family holiday as a student at uni (and not had one since, I'm now 26), the rest of my holidays/trips were ones that I organised with my friends/partner. Plan your own trip if you want to go away 
I can understand their point of view to some extent - Covid is not over. I am not planning to spend hours in a plane or an airport mixing with huge numbers of strangers from a variety of countries that have handled covid very differently. I am giving it another year at least. I lost family due to this virus - the travel can wait.
At your age you can travel without them if you want to go somewhere new
At your age you can travel without them if you want to go somewhere new
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