I know, stupid question to ask on here but I really need some advice. I really want to change myself as I feel like the way I am is constantly making myself depressed.
I feel like I always lack energy and am always drained even when I do nothing all day. This is always been the case but I really wish to change. Even with enough sleep, if I’m going fine throughout the day I will always end up feeling drained. I’m addition to this, I always feel like I am ignored and out of place. No matter where I go or where I am, I always feel and am ignored when trying to say something, if I confront, nothing changes. There has happened on numerous occasions such as school, outings and even family events. Everyone ignores me, including my family. so I feel like I am the problem.
I am also VERY sensitive so whenever anyone says anything somewhat mean, weather it’s my fault or not, I turn bright red. It might not be my fault but my face will always turn red, even if I try to have normal conversations with teachers, friends, or family. When ever there is any arguments going on or I get the blame my face will always turn red. It’s quite embarrassing as it makes me look like I’m going to cry or I am at fault. Receiving medications for this is not an option.
I’m addition, I feel like have constantly have nothing to talk about and have dry humour so I don’t really get along with most people. I feel like I am the most hated in my family as whenever I try to speak, I am ignored or there is nothing to talk about when my sister is not there to talk with my siblings. I feel like only when she is there conversations are made and the house isn’t quite however when she’s not there, there is nothing to talk about. My family also speaks to her way more often, be it jealousy or whatever, but I truly feel like my presence is not needed. Whenever it’s just me and my parents there is always little to no conversation at all causing jt to be quite awkward. However with anyone else, my parents would be the ones to speak first. There is loads more but so far, any advice on how to change these things, I can’t to seek out any professional help like counselling. Any advice on how to change myself.