Ok im 26, had a loving but bad upbringing through no fault of my familys.
My dad lost his job when I was 5 and was forced due to debts to sell our family home which belonged to my gran for 20 years.
My dad had a accident and has since been unable to work.
I got bullied at school for being geeky and fat.
My school treated me like dirt as they put council house people into the thick classes.
I had my shoulder smashed at school and it took a year to heal and even now I get painful arthritis.
I left home at 17 but had loads of obstacles, and due to the years of bullying I got the only good thing I had was women suddenly liked me and had gorgeous girls who could easily be models chat to me, despite that didnt have sex till I was 19 then not again till I was 21 and a half when I had a girlfriend and had sex daily for 4 months then since then have had sex 4 times(and im over 26!)
When I was 22 my brother was arrested for murder and im still torn over it since theres zero factual evidence saying he did it, everyone on the local paper forums, people at the college I was at when it happened(who didnt know we were related) all said there was no evidence and he was innocent, also a lot of the statements from people who knew him were thrown out and the police fined due to the words being twisted to show him in a bad light.
His clothes were smelling of bleach/chlorine when arrested despite him just having come back from the swimming pool! Also our dog scratched him and the police claimed it was from the victim despite reports from 3 doctors saying it was from a dog, his fingerprints being at the crime scene despite it being his flat he shared with the victim, the victims parents changed their story loads of times and had a history of beating up the victim, a friend of the victim vanished the day of the murder told no one, the landlord, their own family and sold their mobile and just took a bag of clothes yet werent seen as a suspect(and the police never looked for them) when he was on bail the off duty policemen who were the ones who arrested him violently beat him up and said if he told on them they would come back and get their friends to say he was lying.
That affected me the most as since then I gained 5 stone, aged about 10 years or more, am feeling low and tired so much and cry, have thought about jumping in the river in past or slashing my wrists(or my throat) or just going out in a death by cop youd call it and just go around attacking people violently as I have so much rage at the world and anger for being treated this way.
Women give me cruel comments due to my weight and my geekiness and how frumpy I am etc.
The doctors wont prescribe anything due to saying I need councelling first then have to be assessed.
Why am I treated this way when im so nice and kind yet complete """""""" breeze through life.
On the verge of a nervous breakdown(I think) im serious watch
- Thread Starter
- 10-11-2008 23:28
- 10-11-2008 23:34
We all go through hard times...
I'm sure you're a lovely person, PM me if you're feeling low.
Then go through counseling, it's a lot more long term and way less side effects that ADs.
If you're feeling low about your weight, the best thing you can do is to exercise (maybe even just a little walk once a day), and eat healthily. Mental health issues have so much to do with lifestyle - the true extent is only being found now, really.
Obviously your brother issues are still affecting you, so go see your GP and get on the counseling lost NOW. CBT is a really good thing that helps you reevaluate your trains of thought and increasing a more positive mindset.
Speaking as someone who's had a variety of mental health issues, and many issues in my past, I hope I can be of some assistance =)
- Thread Starter
- 10-11-2008 23:36
I have been on the waiting list for almost a year! it was supposed to be 2 months most but theres such a backlog in my area.
- 10-11-2008 23:42
See another GP, change surgeries... (You can even not change and get an 'out of area' appt, and see if they can offer it to you any quicker.
It sucks sometimes, doesn't it?
How are you feeling now?