I've always been fairly asexual and not too much into guys.
There's a guy I've met at uni. I really fancied him for a while. That's kind of gone though and now I just really really like him. I love talking to him and spending time with him, but the physical fancying has gone. Is there a chance that it will return? Cause I don't really know how to react to him now and I think that he maybe wants more than friendship and I wouldn't be satisfied with less than a very intense friendship so maybe I'm actually after a relationship?
Any ideas on my weird body?
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Losing the physical attraction, maintaining an attraction watch
- 11-11-2008 01:09
- 11-11-2008 01:20
I am bumping my own thread cause it took so long to get approved
- 11-11-2008 02:21
Well, if you let him know that you are (a bit?) asexual, so he won't be put out be the fact you don't want him physically.
If he knows then that is fair to him; he needs to enter a relationship knowing that certain boundaries (whether physical or emotional) exist.
I wouldn't bet on desire returning, really, but you know yourself better.
If he is upset by the fact you don't him physically, you shouldn't take that against him, though. Most people would be disappointed on some level that their relationship could never have an element of carnal instinct.
- 11-11-2008 03:01
If it's beneficial to both parties, how can it be wrong?
Go be happy with him, just be upfront and honest, keep the communication going.
- 11-11-2008 09:42
Thank-you. Does this mean that you think that it's still ok for me to be in a relationship with him?
- 11-11-2008 09:53
as long as he knows how you feel, then yeah. x
- 11-11-2008 09:55
I don't really know how to say that to a boy though! Surely it will just come across as weird and put him off me (if I have to tell him before I've got really close).
- 11-11-2008 12:03
Tell him you're a strange one, that you really like him and really want to be with him, but tend not to be attracted to people in the same way (if this is true? I'm presuming you're a bit asexual/are demisexual like you said). Don't make a big deal out of it if you don't want to and it won't effect anything, or don't use the words 'I don't fancy you' if you don't want to - tell him how you like him. Focus on the positive.
(pm me if you want)