Please take the effort to read through my entire post before posting. This is more of a rant than a "please solve my problem" post.
I'm a 20 yr old guy in his third year university. I live in dormitories. So.. anyways... I have two really close friends (a guy and a girl). they are dating each other. Individually, they are both awesome people and very friendly, nice etc. Well as friends we are amazing, doing everything together.. studying, partying, clubbing, etc etc.
Whenever they are together they are always kissing, groping, whatever. Fine, whatever. You guys are dating, you are entitled to do whatever you want. Problem is it gets really awkward and embarassing for me to be in their presence. Like when we're studying together and all of a sudden they just start ravaging each other like there's no tomorrow. Then when he's done he turns to me and is like "sorry, what were you asking again?"
Well recently, they have been getting really serious into their relationship and spend 90% of their time together. Fine, nothing against that either. Friends ignore their friends when they are in a relationship. Happens all the time. Thing is they have been ignoring me almost completely. Like I call the guy and ask "hey man, when are you coming here?" then he says like "oh i'll be there in like 20 mins".. Then its like 3 hours and he still doesnt come.
I am starting to feel really lonely and depressed. I feel foolish even being around them. It's like I don't deserve to hang out with them. Like when we go clubbing or something, they start dancing together and I stand around looking like a complete douchebag. Then at the end of the night they both go back to one of their rooms and I sit around like a jackass watching family guy or something.
Also one afternoon I called him while he was "doing it" and he got mad at me.
I also feel really depressed watching them together, having fun, laughing, cuddling, while I haven't been in a relationship for over 3 years.
Please this is really getting me down. If you have any sensible solutions, comments, or just want to express your opinion, go ahead. Please don't post stuff like "go out and make some new friends" or "go find a girlfriend" or "go join a fraternity". I do happen to have more than five brain cells and I have considered all these solutions.
I actually have started to ignore them and make new friends. I live in dorms so there's a lot of people to make friends with and stuff. But they are not that close to me and it's not the same. I feel really alone.
I'm so lonely.. two friends who are dating watch
- Thread Starter
- 11-11-2008 09:28
- 11-11-2008 10:12
TALK TO THEM.
Dear GOD why does nobody seem to get this. Tell them the way you've been feeling - or at least the girl who will probably be more understanding. Ask them if they wouldn't mind toning it down a bit in your company, and in return at certain times you'll leave them alone for private time.
I'm in a relationship with one of my friend's friends at the moment, and it can be tempting to be with one another all the time, but I know that my friend wouldn't appreciate it, and so we invite him to do things some of the time, and the rest of the time he leaves us alone.
Don't get too down about it relationship wise - you're more likely to meet someone if you're not desperately searching for them. And as far as feeling like a third wheel - it might be worth trying to make some new friends who aren't in a couple.
- 12-11-2008 07:29
You better change your room.
- 12-11-2008 07:37
It sounds like you are doing alot more than you think already. You need to go out, socialise and widen your friendship circle. You can't sit around and let yourself be stuck in the situation of third wheel all the time. The best thing to do is get out there with other people or bring other mates out til it comes to a point where you don't have to rely on these two constantly.
It is irritating for you, and thats understandable as you are in a very awkward position. The problem is that even if you do talk to them about this they are unlikely to stop their behaviour and change for you (as they are dating to be fair) and things could get a little awkward).
Although you may not find people you have much in common with on your course to start with there must be some out there so don't give up hope! Things will come around eventually, and its always a good thing to find a few more friends every so often.
- 12-11-2008 08:15
the best thing for you to do (well imo btw) is that you should try to avoid this two as much as possible. Don't waste your time with them. You have other people that can give you the attention or (shall i say respect?) that you need. Hack they are not even noticing you so why bother. If you still try to hangout with them it's a waste really, it's like waiting for the sky to drop you a bucket of gold or something. They will not be bothered with you hack they might even think you just a disturbance to them. So let them do whatever they want to do and you mate go and do something else that you want to do. Don't waste time lingering on someones else life. You have much more to do.
Hope it helps