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Does the skin color matter to you

I am sure you've all encountered a situation where a person's skin color made all the difference in how they are treated. I personally have had friends who strongly said they wouldn't date/marry someone if their skin color was ..... I got myself asking questions, does skin color change even the quality of sex or other important relationship aspects. Does it matter to you? how?

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Reply 1
I don't think skin colour matters, but sometimes I think guys don't want me because I'm not White and blonde, I'm brown. I think maybe it's more a culture thing as opposed to the actual colour of skin, idk.

I don't see how a skin colour would change the quality of sex. Either two people have good sex or they don't, or whatever, surely that's to do with sex itself.

Maybe if two people were together and one couldn't accustomise to the other's person's culture and ways of living it may cause an issue? But then that's me assuming the person of colour is the one who has the "different" culture.
(edited 1 year ago)
Original post by LilyBerkley
I am sure you've all encountered a situation where a person's skin color made all the difference in how they are treated. I personally have had friends who strongly said they wouldn't date/marry someone if their skin color was ..... I got myself asking questions, does skin color change even the quality of sex or other important relationship aspects. Does it matter to you? how?


Show racism the red card, promote equality.
Original post by preeto2
I don't think skin colour matters, but sometimes I think guys don't want me because I'm not White and blond, I'm brown. I think maybe it's more a culture thing as opposed to the actual colour of skin, idk.


Original post by preeto2
I don't think skin colour matters, but sometimes I think guys don't want me because I'm not White and blond, I'm brown. I think maybe it's more a culture thing as opposed to the actual colour of skin, idk.


So you've experienced it too. I tend to think that when you switch off the lights and get into the blankets, it's just what you feel at heart matters, nothing more. Not even the shape of your bum. It may be cultural as you say
Not really. There's about a million things that matter more, like values, approach to life, goals, human connection, and you can share those things with anyone of any colour.
Personality
Tbh I don't really find people who aren't white attractive; I love stuff like blue eyes, freckles, and light hair. That said, my spouse is black haired, brown eyed and I find her gorgeous. You fall for who you fall for. :dontknow:
Original post by LilyBerkley
I am sure you've all encountered a situation where a person's skin color made all the difference in how they are treated. I personally have had friends who strongly said they wouldn't date/marry someone if their skin color was ..... I got myself asking questions, does skin color change even the quality of sex or other important relationship aspects. Does it matter to you? how?


Doesn't matter to me, as I prefer to date beauty and not skin colour :cool:

However, I do know what you mean, and I've experienced what you're saying far too many times. Typical example, I can be chatting to someone online (normally they're the ones who start talking to me, before anyone starts), and we can be getting along famously... but as soon as they find out... 'I'm black' :eek: , I never hear from them again. That's it; c'est tout, de nada. If I'm lucky, I'll get some kind of brush-off before the ghosting starts (if I'm lucky :lol: )

It's only really online, I seldom get that IRL (probably because they can see from the outset I'm black, and obviously the rest of my appearance will contribute to my overall picture.

Original post by Mohammed_80
Show racism the red card, promote equality.


I agree with the general principle of what you're saying... but (rightly or wrongly) when it comes to sex / romance, this is apparently the one area it's OK to discriminate against race & ethnicity.
(edited 1 year ago)
Original post by Old Skool Freak
Doesn't matter to me, as I prefer to date beauty and not skin colour.

However, I do know what you mean, and I've experienced what you're saying far too many times. Typical example, I can be chatting to someone online (normally they're the ones who start talking to me, before anyone starts), and we can be getting along famously... but as soon as they find out... 'I'm black' :eek: , I never hear from them again. That's it; c'est tout, de nada. If I'm lucky, I'll get some kind of brush-off before the ghosting starts (if I'm lucky :lol: )

It's only really online, I seldom get that IRL (probably because they can see from the outset I'm black, and obviously the rest of my appearance will contribute to my overall picture.



I agree with the general principle of what you're saying... but (rightly or wrongly) when it comes to sex / romance, this is apparently the one area it's OK to discriminate against.

No it’s not to be honest that’s your opinion though however I can understand we have a preference or a pick. However no one should rightfully be judged or discriminated by the colour of their skin… if you just want no association keep it simple and just you know do your bit that’s it. No hassle no fuss created.
Original post by Old Skool Freak
I agree with the general principle of what you're saying... but (rightly or wrongly) when it comes to sex / romance, this is apparently the one area it's OK to discriminate against race & ethnicity.

Why that? are some races 'sweeter' than others in bed? how
Original post by Mohammed_80
No it’s not to be honest that’s your opinion though however I can understand we have a preference or a pick. However no one should rightfully be judged or discriminated by the colour of their skin… if you just want no association keep it simple and just you know do your bit that’s it. No hassle no fuss created.

I think you've misunderstood me, so I need to clarify

It's NOT my opinion, but rather that of society. In fact if you read the first part of my post, it should be clear that I disagree with that view (especially personally having multiple adverse experiences of it). I obviously don't like being discriminated against my skin colour, but I understand it's their choice and no one can dictate to another person who they should / shouldn't be attracted to.

Instead of simply saying "OMG, it's sooo bad to discriminate", why don't you ask yourself why people end up having these views of different ethnicities in the first place?

Original post by LilyBerkley
Why that? are some races 'sweeter' than others in bed? how

Personally, I think it's a combination of western standards of beauty and the way ethnic groups are often portrayed.

If you look at western beauty, the WASP (White Anglo-Saxon Protestant) is often pictured as the epitome of beauty in things like fashion, movies and other "pop-culture". The number of threads you see asking if white people are attracted to XYZ ethnic group on this board alone is evidence of this. On the occasions where, say, a black person is considered attractive, it's often in a stereotypical role (e.g. the gangster rapper; the sports star, dancer etc.), which is probably why whenever you hear people saying "I like black guys" it's often actually a well-known black stereotype they're in fact attracted to; and they quickly lose interest when it's clear that you don't meet said stereotype.

I'm speaking from a black persons P.O.V, as that's my experience, and that's what I know; but I'm assuming the same or a similar argument applies for other ethnic groups. And I think that's where a large part of the issue lies... I think the media perception of the different ethnic groups play a large part in how they're perceived as potential partners etc.

Hope that makes sense :smile:
(edited 1 year ago)
Why would it? Everyone got their preferences but a lot of them are a cause of racial stereotypes (key word, a lot of them).
As a black guy, I tend to see a lot of explanation about skin colour being a preference - simply not be attracted to someone /BS about how someone’s race is suddenly a personality trait / the usual racism.
As I brown girl all i get asked is "would your parents be ok without you having an arranged marriage?" or "i bet you cook really good Indian food" or "ahhh is the reason you've never had a boyfriend because your parents are strict/ you're religious?"

i don't know a single British Indian girl who has had an arranged marriage in our generation, only our parents generation lol

i actually hate these things being assumed ^ i get it from both Black and White people. Sometimes I get Black men asking me if I'm allowed to date them and surprised if I fancy one.
Original post by Sabertooth
Tbh I don't really find people who aren't white attractive; I love stuff like blue eyes, freckles, and light hair. That said, my spouse is black haired, brown eyed and I find her gorgeous. You fall for who you fall for. :dontknow:

This seems to be the view of most white men tbh.
Only a minority of white men want to settle down with not-whites, the majority don't.
Generally, we do tend to be more attracted to those who are the same race and/or skin colour. That's just biology. Of course, people can successfully date people of different ethnicity.
Personally, I grew up in what's basically a small working town where it was pretty much all white, with very little ethnic diversity. I've never really dated anybody who wasn't white, just simply because of the local population. But it'd be stupid to say "I only date white girls" or something similar. I'm open to anybody
(edited 1 year ago)
Struggling honestly to see how one person could completely eliminated a whole race like to me it’s so odd
Original post by oglez92
Generally, we do tend to be more attracted to those who are the same race and/or skin colour. That's just biology. Of course, people can successfully date people of different ethnicity.
Personally, I grew up in what's basically a small working town where it was pretty much all white, with very little ethnic diversity. I've never really dated anybody who wasn't white, but I certainly wouldn't rule out dating someone based on race

I'm not calling you racist or anything. But when a white person half-heartedly says this, seems very unlikely they will settle down with a not white in the end tbh
Original post by Burnitdown
Why would it? Everyone got their preferences but a lot of them are a cause of racial stereotypes (key word, a lot of them).
As a black guy, I tend to see a lot of explanation about skin colour being a preference - simply not be attracted to someone /BS about how someone’s race is suddenly a personality trait / the usual racism.


This is true, but being a brown girl I just feel like the brown guys i tend to know and see tend i just physically am not attracted looks wise. They also either feel like a) rude boy wannabes or b) they're like my brothers c) I'm judged for being a somewhat liberal girl who likes to go to festivals, knows dance/house music, and likes to chill with people from all races oh and d) I'm not working in a profession such as dentistry, medicine, business etc
(edited 1 year ago)
Original post by preeto2
This is true, but being a brown girl I just feel like the brown guys i tend to know and see tend i just physically am not attracted looks wise. They also either feel like a) rude boy wannabes or b) they're like my brothers c) I'm judged for being somewhat liberal


I'm a brown girl and I've felt a lot less attracted to white men as I got older. The caucasian concept of beauty is just a product of white supremacy that we have been brainwashed with.
Physically, I do like mixed race guys actually. Exotic features and nice tanned skin! NOM
Original post by stickylikehoney
I'm a brown girl and I've felt a lot less attracted to white men as I got older. The caucasian concept of beauty is just a product of white supremacy that we have been brainwashed with.
Physically, I do like mixed race guys actually. Exotic features and nice tanned skin! NOM

I feel the same!

hahaha

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