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Friends with benefits but its gone wrong kind of :S watch

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    Ok, this is a bit complicated so ill try and explain it as best as i can.

    So i met this boy and we became friends. then after about a week of knowing him he suggested we added something to our relationship but stressed we wouldnt be in a relationship. Although at the time i had my reservations, i agreed and we did things together-not sex but other things. Now i enjoyed doing this, but i have grown to love him. I said this to him and he said that i dont really love him, just love what we do. This isnt true though because tbh i could take out all the sexual stuff to prove its him i like. So we carried on with this kind of relationship. But hes fine to just use it for his pleasure and then completly ignore me when hes done and wont ring or meet me till he wants to do it again. Its making it worse because i feel like ive lost a friend and a potential boyfriend just to get a bit of action (:o: ) every now and again. So i am stuck with these emotions. i dont want to draw a line under it because then there isnt a hope in hell of him ever wanting a proper relationship. I dont know what to do :confused: Has anyone got any ideas? I know ill prob be told to just not see him again, but it isnt that simple because i really like him and he said he likes me just prefers it this way (no suprise)
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    He doesn't want a relationship, you won't change his mind.
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    you've just been fooled into his whole "we dont need to be in a relationship to have sex, its so old fashioned" crap. to be simple and blunt he doesnt want, he doesnt care and he certainly isnt going to change his mind. you sound like a nice girl, stop giving into him, drop him and find someone who will respect u
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    after about a week of knowing him he suggested we added something to our relationship
    "Hi there, now I was thinking, I like this friendship thing we have going but how about we jut add a little bit of sex here and there?"

    I imagine you suggested it like this :p:

    You've got attached OP, its pretty common in these sort of f*** buddy things. It's down to him now really, whether he wants a relationship or not.
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    (Original post by RoosterUK)
    "Hi there, now I was thinking, I like this friendship thing we have going but how about we jut add a little bit of sex here and there?"

    I imagine you suggested it like this :p:

    You've got attached OP, its pretty common in these sort of f*** buddy things. It's down to him now really, whether he wants a relationship or not.
    absolutley sounds more constructive than what i said
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    (Original post by adsmitty2109)
    absolutley sounds more constructive than what i said
    There's nothing she can do, she can't force him into a serious relationship. She knew what she was getting into at the time.

    It sucks that she's got attached but nothing she can do about it now apart from talk to the guy.
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    this happened to me recently. i haven't seen him for a month and it's gotten better.
    but not entirely.

    eventually you get to the "if he doesn't realise a good thing when it's right under him" stage, then you get to the "if he doesn't realise a good friend when she's there for him" stage. after that it becomes a hell of a load easier.
    trust
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    We havent had sex btw.

    Thanks for all the comments. The problem im having with just forgetting him is that i really like him. I know im being stupid but i cant knock it out of me. For example a week went by and i didnt speak to him, then he rings me, is really apologetic for how he has been, so i fall for it thinking he means it and then we hang out and then one thing leads to another and we are back to where we started. I realise how stupid it is and for anyone else i wouldnt be this way because i have more respect for myself than this, but he has this 'effect' on me which is making it really hard to just forget him. especially when he does contact me. sorry, im just stressed by all this
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    talk about being easily manipulated.
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    look you're in the "in love" stage, where you idolise him, usually this lasts for about 12 monthsish, you can easily look past his faults, you need to realise he's just using you for sexual things. You're like his *****, his sex slave, whatever, do you like being that?
    if so keep serving him, if not, stop.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    We havent had sex btw.
    Then tell us what you have done, so that we know what he's getting out of it and can make some sort of assessment of his actions. You're anonymous, remember.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    We havent had sex btw.

    Thanks for all the comments. The problem im having with just forgetting him is that i really like him. I know im being stupid but i cant knock it out of me. For example a week went by and i didnt speak to him, then he rings me, is really apologetic for how he has been, so i fall for it thinking he means it and then we hang out and then one thing leads to another and we are back to where we started. I realise how stupid it is and for anyone else i wouldnt be this way because i have more respect for myself than this, but he has this 'effect' on me which is making it really hard to just forget him. especially when he does contact me. sorry, im just stressed by all this
    Oh right, I just assumed "Friends with Benefits" was another way of saying 'F*** Buddies'. How are you more than friends then?

    Well he probably doesn't want you to forget him, maybe he likes you but now isn't the right time for a relationship for him.
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    (Original post by there's too much love)
    look you're in the "in love" stage, where you idolise him, usually this lasts for about 12 monthsish, you can easily look past his faults, you need to realise he's just using you for sexual things. You're like his *****, his sex slave, whatever, do you like being that?
    if so keep serving him, if not, stop.
    :rolleyes:
    first 'sex slave' that hasn't even been used for sex then. I think you're going waaaaay too far.
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    Hand jobs, Blow jobs mainly :o:
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    (Original post by RoosterUK)
    :rolleyes:
    first 'sex slave' that hasn't even been used for sex then. I think you're going waaaaay too far.

    she's said she's being used for sexual actions essentially, only rings when he wants something from her.
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    Someone always gets attached.

    I thought this was a story about friends who are illegally claiming benefits and whether or not you should rat them out! Was ready to join the "burn them" mob :mad:
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    He's using you. Stop doing stuff with him. Then if he does like you at all he'll hang around.
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    (Original post by there's too much love)
    she's said she's being used for sexual actions essentially, only rings when he wants something from her.
    (Original post by Bobbay)
    He's using you. Stop doing stuff with him. Then if he does like you at all he'll hang around.
    I don't think he phoned her asking for sexual stuff, he just wanted to hang out and one thing leads to another. It happens. I've has friends like this where we'd just arrange to hang out, probably something harmless like going shopping and we end up sleeping together... it's even worse if she has a boyfriend.

    I don't think he can be using her unless he is either promising her something that he is not delivering (a relationship) and he isn't or unless she is really uncomfortable with it... and she seemed to be the one who started it all by suggesting it.
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    Hey, exactly the same thing happened to me..what was worse was that because i liked him i would call him and arrange to meet and he would never even call me!

    I started to realise that to other people what i was doing must have seemed really stupid and I was just giving in to him because I liked him. I asked him why it was always me who contacted him and he apologised etc and things would go back to how they were, only to go back into the same cycle before long.

    In the end I decided to delete his number and completely stop talking to him. I used to see him out and about and there were a couple of incidents where I was drunk and sent a few text messages etc but after a couple of months of not seeing him I am completely 100% over it and can't believe I used to let him 'use' me like that.

    It's hard when you like someone to just stop seeing them of your own will but it's sooo much better for you in the long run.

    p.s read the comments above like they're about somebody else.. if you knew a girl who met up with a boy just to give him head and he would only call her to get it then ignore her, and also refused a relationship, what would you think was going on?
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    You NEED to cut ties. and fyi your not a f-buddy but a playmate. Someone who you call exclusivly for sex, and dont talk to in real life again. Please delete his number and move on.
 
 
 
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