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Girlfriend doesnt like me watching porn (or ******* at all for that matter) Watch

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    Quite hypocritical really - to put it bluntly I wouldn't mind betting she's fingered herself at some point before she met you.

    She seems rather shallow if she's so bothered about you "lusting about other women" when all you're doing is playing with yourself really - I agree though with the points raised by Zamolxes ,her insecurity might arise as she doesn't know what to expect really from a bloke.Hopefully she'll grow out of it for your sake.
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    (Original post by Phantom Phoenix)
    Depends on the relationship. Some people are fine with their partners watching porn and some aren't. If your girlfriend really doesn't want you watching porn or masturbating, then it becomes a question of how much you respect her feelings and want to stay with her. However silly and prohibitive you or other people might find her views, she's still your girlfriend and you should aim to keep her happy.
    I agree with this
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    How can she say that?
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    If she's this insecure, she's probably not worth the trouble, to be frank.

    But, yeah, if you're set on maintaining the relationship, maybe it's time to set up the video camera next time she's round?
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    Apparently all females hate their boyfriends doing anything without them?

    I have to say I'm not bothered.
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    Pornography creates insecurity in some women. Not all, but to say that such emotions are an irrational response is frankly insensitive.

    As it has been pointed out- porn is about fantasy (and 'shock' factor), not the intimate relationship between lovers. I don't want that fantasy to be the main pull of my boyfriend's sex drive. I want the fuel of his desire to be to get closer to me and I don't think that porn encourages that.

    Nor would I appreciate my boyfriend choosing to fill his mind with thoughts of other women in such a sexualised manner. Because in reality, I can't compete with plastic barbies and their perfect chests. That leaves a risk of him becoming discontented with what I have to offer via comparison, which we all do to some level.

    There is not a proportional relationship between porn consumption and masculinity. 1 in 3 of all pornsite visitors are female and the industry is turning towards catering for that market. It is not a 'guy' thing (nor does it identify you as a man) and it is not 'normal'. It is simply a personal choice.

    Stopping now may even save you problems later.
    Having studied the nature of long-term use (or addiction if that's a permissible term) it is all too easy to develop a taste for 'stronger' pornography. Mainstream websites often have a wide range of images because- as the saying goes- variety is the spice of life. Eventually, what most consider to be healthy sexual practice no longer becomes stimulating and boundaries are pushed, leading to the sort of pornography banned under obscenity laws. In worst case scenarios, it can also nurture criminal behaviour. Not every person will end up at this extreme end of the scale, but I would rather not take that chance. The nature of pornography being a largely solo pursuit means that it is even easier to slip into 'crazy' behaviour than with other more public issues as people don't tend to question themselves when something 'feels good'.

    I suppose that is a rant, but I think that although people should have the choice, they should be informed of the potential risks. So yeah, IMO I think pornography should be steered clear of.

    Also, I don't think that the statements of the girlfriend being controlling and manipulative are quite fair. It is only one part of their relationship, after all. I see nothing wrong with her asking her boyfriend to stop watching pornography and she should stick to her guns about that. Just because some girls will allow or even encourage it doesn't mean we all should. What she is willing to accept is up to her.

    Stopping isn't going to make you explode you know. Being porn-free is cheaper and you can use the time to do other things that might produce something slightly more permanent than an orgasm. Also, think about what it was that drove you to lie about it in the first place? Are you really that proud of the habit?

    Yeah... I'm about done now.
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    (Original post by jinglepupskye)
    Would you be so blase about it if your boyfriend didn't come when you had sex because he had been knocking one off earlier?

    Instead of thinking, 'what a horrible, needy, unfeeling cow she must be', put yourself in her place for a second and see how you would feel in the same situation.

    It's more to do with the efffect on their sex life that is making her concerned, as it seems that he would rather play with himself then do anything with her.
    I am completly against any flaming or trolling of any kind because I believe every time you troll or feed a troll god kills a kitten. Sadly I must waive my rule for the time being and answer to your post.

    Your ignorance is breath taking. I am sure you have bearly any experience with relationships, especially more serious/mature ones yet you jump at every opportunity to spread ignorance and stupidity like the disease that it is. I suggest you actually spend a bit of time contemplating what relationships are truly about before you post again. I think most people here see the truth but you are somehow clouded by your own ignorance and close mindedness. I am sorry for being so harsh but I think you deserve it and you need to hear it especially after posting three times bashing the guy and defending her to such extent that it makes me angry.

    Having taken that off my chest...I think every one will /agree with the following statement and we can move on...

    You shouldnt look for trouble in relationships, be understanding and give the other person space, never be too clingy, needy, controling, paranoid, obsessive. People who have no experience with relationships often think it involves somehow fusing or merging with the other person becoming one entity which couldn't be further from the truth. A relationship is supposed to compliment you and make you happier, not take over your life...that just doesnt work and it always ends badly. She obviously needs to take a chill pill.

    P.S - Having read the last few posts, including Superkitten's, all I have to say to these girls is : I feel sorry for the poor bloke who has to date you. Stop trying to change men. If you don't like him because he watches porn, then don't date him. You would have sucessfully reduced your dating candidates by 99%. Congratulations, the other 1% are gay and even if they weren't they wouldn't want to date you.

    P.P.S - Insecure women are SUCH a turnoff...ask any guy...he will second this.

    P.P.P.S - Oh ****...I think I realised why he can't ***. - " AM I NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU?!!! " - Need I say more?
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    She sounds a wee bit highly-strung over this, aye. OP, tread carefully, but stand your ground; maybe mention that despite being in a relationship she shouldn't be controlling you & what you can/can't do (though put it a bit more delicately that that, perhaps).

    Another idea could be emphasising that it's "just something that blokes do", and that it's not attached to romantic feelings or "lusting after other women" per se (even if it is slightly sometimes - don't start another argument over it), but just a purely physical thing of them satisfying a basic urge by playing with themselves.

    Then give her a hug, plant a kiss on her cheek, and coyly mention something about how you always prefer to do it with her, and there's no competition...

    /two cents' worth
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    OP,

    As a girl, i know where your gf is coming from by feeling insecure about you ******* over other girls. There is something you probably will never understand about girls, we are all insecure in one way or another, its one of our many flaws.

    I know you want to stop her from feeling that you're lusting over other women, but this won't happen... she will always hate sexy women (no matter if they are porn stars, clebrities, or even friends) when they are around you. She will feel intimidated by them and everything.... butttt as a boyfriends duty, you should reassure her you find her the sexiest thing in the world, even sexier than *insert name here*.... if you get my drift.

    Do you wanna know who she would love to have a fling with (i'm talking celebrity-wise, cuz otherwise it might just open up some baddddd things)? I don't care what anyone thinks, girls fantasis about men just as much (maybe even more) as men... It is just human nature, as long as it is never acted upon, it is all ok. I suggest to you is to sit her down and ask her who she might like to have a thing or 2 with (lol).... just as a light hearted convo.... then you can maybe help her see that its a similar thing?

    Also, why not tell her when you 'do the deed' you think of her, or the last time you guys had sex? (only if you do though) Or, why not, when you watch pornos, you imagine her in them with you? haha.... just a suggestion? Maybe you want more porno-sised sex?!!! Ask her to try things out with you.....
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    (Original post by Zamolxes)
    P.S - Having read the last few posts, including Superkitten's, all I have to say to these girls is : I feel sorry for the poor bloke who has to date you. Stop trying to change men. If you don't like him because he watches porn, then don't date him. You would have sucessfully reduced your dating candidates by 99%. Congratulations, the other 1% are gay and even if they weren't they wouldn't want to date you.
    I am not trying to change anyone- as I said pornography is a matter of personal choice. But I don't think that it is naturally ingrained into the male psyche, so men don't have to change. If anything I think there are far too many males who misunderstand their masculinity, which is a shame.

    And for the record I most certainly would not date a man that chooses to watch pornography. I am currently in a relationship and I think I give a fair trade-off thanks. He seems to as well.

    And 99% of candidates? I highly doubt that. Stop being so melodramatic.
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    (Original post by kklol)
    even if it is just porn. it is not a big deal. men are not preprogrammed to be monogamous as it happens girls, **** your fairytales cos i live in the real world of evolution and biological fact. That doesn't mean we should all go cheating on you, in fact a man is far less likely to be compelled to do so if he can fantasise about it.

    i watch porn with my gf a lot. but then she sint a superficial, unintelligent, OMFG, OMG like wtf, barbie doll, caked in make up insecure cow like most birds

    i got myself a good'un lads
    who is that poor ugly freak you put in your profile? you maybe stupid and ignorant but its pretty damn mean to put that poor ugly guy up there taking the brunt of your comments and have him mocked, what if people who know him are here?
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    Tbh I don't see the big deal about you watching porn, I would never really give one if a guy I was in a relationship with watched it.. I understand it doesn't really have anything to do with me or our relationship.
    And while as your girlfriend she can say she doesn't appreciate you masturbating or watching porn, she does not own you and ultimately it is your own decision. Just explain to her that it has nothing to do with how you feel about her (enjoying porn does not mean she is not good/sexy enough) but sometimes you just need that "release" and she is not always available
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    (Original post by superkitten)
    But I don't think that it is naturally ingrained into the male psyche, so men don't have to change. If anything I think there are far too many males who misunderstand their masculinity, which is a shame.
    Ah yes...your statement is as old as time itself. Women telling a man what masculinity really is. Bible logic at it's finest. Look let me put this in words you'll understand. Men aren't women, we don't read some **** magazine that tells us what we should be and then we do it. We don't listen or ask women what masculinity is or what we should do to be more manly. We just are...therefore there is no misunderstanding. No one is misunderstanding anything...and I never argued "being a male gives u a get out of porn jail free card". Im just saying...where the ****.. do you get off... telling a man what a " real " man is...that just doesnt make any ******* sense.
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    (Original post by Zamolxes)
    Ah yes...your statement is as old as time itself. Women telling a man what masculinity really is. Bible logic at it's finest. Look let me put this in words you'll understand. Men aren't women, we don't read some **** magazine that tells us what we should be and then we do it. We don't listen or ask women what masculinity is or what we should do to be more manly. We just are...therefore there is no misunderstanding. No one is misunderstanding anything...and I never argued "being a male gives u a get out of porn jail free card". Im just saying...where the ****.. do you get off... telling a man what a " real " man is...that just doesnt make any ******* sense.
    Before I respond to your comment, frankly where on earth do YOU get off talking to me using phrases like 'words you'll understand'. Please, go splash your face with cold water or do whatever is necessary to calm yourself down before trying to patronise me further.

    I have not claimed to have the answer to what masculinity is, nor did I tell you what a real man is. There is no 'one-size-fits-all' masculinity solution, nor a femininity counterpart. I was simply making an observation about the visible actions of men trying to function like women or seeming to have no gender identity at all.
    Yes, men don't read that many self-help articles but there exist many popular men's magazines which 'sell' an image of what is masculine. Maybe not a conscious influence, but an influence nonetheless. Of course, feel free to disagree.

    Also, I didn't say that you used the 'get out of porn jail free card' idea. I was trying to further explain the point that it's not about changing men into anything that they are naturally inclined not to be.

    I don't get the use of 'Bible logic at it's finest'. Are you trying to say the Bible was written by women?
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    Bible logic also known as circular logic is where one bullsh!t argument is proven by another bullsh!t argument until your original argument is proven by itself.
    Here is an example of an argument using circular logic.

    Bullsh!t argument number 1. You shouldn't masturbate because the bible says its wrong.
    Bullsh!t argument number 2. The bible is always right because it's the word of god because it says it is.
    In conclusion... 3. Masturbating is wrong.
    Bullsh!t argument number 2 proves number 1...in a bullsh!t manner, yet it doesnt make any sense. Let me give you another example.

    1. Bush says we are at war.
    2. Bush does what ever he wants
    3. Whatever bush does is legal because we are at war.

    Oh and if you like math... let me break it down for you :
    1. p implies q.
    2. Suppose p. Therefore,
    3. q.
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    OH god. Why are some girls so thick about men? They need to ****...it's not that they're lusting after other women, they just need too. She needs a serious reality check.
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    Thank you...finally some one with some common sense. And to answer your question...I just think they're bitter about past relationships or something...it happends to everyone...its just that most of us...at one point build a bridge and get over it. Some just perform very poorly when it comes to constructing bridges.
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    Yea, i can understand where she's coming from. It can be quite hurtful thinking about the guy you're with lusting after another girl.

    It makes me wonder why she's been saying that anyway. Have you been watching it while she's there, has she caught you, or do you talk about it in front of her?

    I've been in this situation before, but it's something men do and she's going to have to deal with it (unless she's willing to make up for the times you're not masturbating).

    My advice is just to do it in complete privacy and don't talk about it.
    DO NOT LIE TO HER. Deleting your history is an idea as it may she may feel upset by seeing it. It's not a case of 'getting caught'
    Just keep it as a something private.

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    i think OP you need to address your gf's insecurity issues, the fact that shes uses te phrase "am i not enough for you" would tell me she has some underlying problem. If you had been cheating then yes its a reasonable question but not becasue you get your jollies off.

    Some women are wierd about porn i dont understand it. My gf knows i watch it hell shes watches it as well and we watch it together and make our own.

    Your not cheating on her, talk to her about it.
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    (Original post by Rainbows24)
    i kind of understand where she is coming from because it is like you are saying she is not enough for you

    :suith:
    If I may, I would refer you to my post of last year:

    Tell me: when he views the latest instalment of Have I Got News For You on television, do you begrudge him the fact that you'll never make him laugh as much as Paul Merton? Do you resent the implication of his espousing the worldview of august philosophers and pre-eminent scientists in lieu of (or even in contradiction to) your own; that you'll never stimulate him intellectually as much as a good book? Are you envious of Aristotle; mistrustful of Mill; cynical of Carr?

    Indeed, perhaps you are. Oops. I guess I've 'gone and done it' now, then, haven't I?
    Which is to say; his girlfriend is sorely lacking a sense of perspective.
 
 
 
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