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Lost my virginity when I was too young - now old memories are back to haunt me Watch

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    (Original post by Fandellos)
    No, the guy would get prosecuted even if he was younger than her ( i know he isnt in this case, but its the general law) for no reason. it's ********.
    What, only the guy? I think I read this somewhere and was disgusted by the sexism it involves.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    .. . i dont want to be anywhere near him. am i right to feel this way?
    If you have changed your thoughts and desires he isn't attacking you.
    If he does he just shames himself for doing it with an immature person, and he broke the law, making him something he wouldn't want to be known as . . . so I hope you will forgive each other and look forward to finding what's good for you instead of basing intimacy on feelings and curiosities that come and go.

    It's called "growing up" we all have to do it.
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    (Original post by fisherman)
    What, only the guy? I think I read this somewhere and was disgusted by the sexism it involves.
    Yeah only the guy. I too was disgusted. And if there is a reason, it will probably be something like "the male is stronger therefore would be more likely to have done it against her will" or some other *****.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I lost my virginity when I was really young. Briefly, it was before I even knew what sex was and I was messing around with a friend who was 2 years older than me, we were playing a game which became sexual and then led to intercourse. Neither of us knew what we were doing was wrong and it did not happen again.

    Because this has just been one of my 'life experiences' it's a memory that's always been there in my head for years and years, so I've never really judged it.

    When I learnt about the 'birds and the bees', it was like 'oh so that's what we were doing' but the experience never really turned into regret until now.

    I am now 17 and have not had sex since.

    my mum came home the other day and said she'd bumped into this boys mother and found out he's going to my first choice uni and our younger siblings go to the same school. Today I got a friend invite from him on facebook and I found out we share mutual friends too.

    Now I feel really sick at the thought of what we did and I really don't want this guy back in my life. He has a gf according to his profile and it makes me feel disgusted with myself to think that he's probably shared this stuff with her about what we did. and he's probably told his mates too. i just cant face seeing him again and i am even reconsidering my uni choice because i dont want to be anywhere near him. am i right to feel this way?
    I doubt he's told anyone about it, he's probably just as embarrassed as you that you were both so young.
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    Well me and my best friend did kissed etc. when we were really young, and we're still best friends to this day. Perhaps because we never grew apart from each other, but to be honest I've never discussed it with them! He's probably just as embarassed. Just pretend it never happened and move on.
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    Ignore the comments regarding calling the police. It's a stupid, and typical TSR reaction.
    • #3
    #3

    i remember doing something, not as extreme as intercourse with a cousin, i think its affected our lives, but we've never mentioned it or anything but, its nothing very bad, just something a little embarresing, i can taell you that i think he'd want to talk about it but is too embararaed , make th efirst move in talking aboutit
    • #4
    #4

    I completely understand why you feel like this. My experiences are nowhere near as young as you (I'm guessing? - I was 11) or as serious (we didn't have sex) but I felt guilty about it for a long time, because I thought it was wrong and I thought the other person would tell someone. What I'm trying to say is that I understand why you feel like this. If I felt like crap over this years later, which is not as serious as what happened to you, I can only imagine how much worse you feel.

    I don't feel anything about it now - no shame or guilt. I basically realised that kids do this sort of thing all the time, and it wasn't wrong. Your situation is obviously different and more serious. If it's bothered you for this long I would suggest talking to someone.
    • #5
    #5

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i remember doing something, not as extreme as intercourse with a cousin, i think its affected our lives, but we've never mentioned it or anything but, its nothing very bad, just something a little embarresing, i can taell you that i think he'd want to talk about it but is too embararaed , make th efirst move in talking aboutit
    Omg are you my cousin????
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Omg are you my cousin????
    omg maybe
    • #6
    #6

    I was reading something in the papers a few months ago about someone who I've dealt with from sixth form and school being investigated by the police and eventually being cleared by the judge for something very similar to this.The girl confided in a mate of hers about her feelings after which an investigation was sparked.

    It was quite clearly understood in that case that what had happened was a bit of sexual experimentation on his part which went quite wrong and that , while he's had quite a few personal problems in the past he's of excellent character , being one of my former secondary's sysadmins.The judge thought quite rightly it was pointless that he should be put on the sex offenders register for something which happened quite a while ago in which neither party would know it would be a court matter.

    I'm posting anon because I've dealt with the person personally for a few years.
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    (Original post by Fandellos)
    as bexicle mentioned if she was under 16 it would be legally wrong as well.
    And laws are different in different cultures.
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    (Original post by ashy)
    Ignore the comments regarding calling the police. It's a stupid, and typical TSR reaction.
    Indeed, that would cause harm and do no good.
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    Sexual experimentation is very common when young. He is probably just as embarrassed as you are. Look back on it and laugh, you were just innocent children.
 
 
 
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