Questioning my sexuality yet not sexually attracted to men

Weird I know but I can’t stop thinking about being gay yet i’m not sexually attracted to men and have always fancied women. I have never had luck with women and I can’t stop thinking about being gay yet when I look at these men, I don’t get turned on and wouldn’t want to be with them as I think it’s not for me but the feeling won’t go away. I think this will just pass and I have always been straight and have always been sexually attracted to women. If I was sexually attracted to men then I would say that I was gay or bi but I know in myself I am not and I always have a fear of talking to women cus I fancy them or i’m just shy towards them. Is this normal? Your thoughts thanks.

Reply 1

Feastful

16

Everyone wonders about the other side at some point or another, its perfectly natural. My advice would be to not deny the thoughts and just go with the flow with them (let you brain explore whatever it needs to). Sometimes things get way more pent up by trying to tuck them away in a box.

Sexuality is a whole spectrum which doesn't just include "gay, bi & straight". You might be bi-curious, but to be honest unless you're genuinely interested in getting with another guy and experimenting, it doesn't really matter either way.

Re: anxiety around the other sex, being able to talk or not talk to women has no bearing on your sexuality (heterosexuality is not measured by success in talking to/flirting with women).

Reply 2

Quiet Benin

16

Original post by Anonymous

Weird I know but I can’t stop thinking about being gay yet i’m not sexually attracted to men and have always fancied women. I have never had luck with women and I can’t stop thinking about being gay yet when I look at these men, I don’t get turned on and wouldn’t want to be with them as I think it’s not for me but the feeling won’t go away. I think this will just pass and I have always been straight and have always been sexually attracted to women. If I was sexually attracted to men then I would say that I was gay or bi but I know in myself I am not and I always have a fear of talking to women cus I fancy them or i’m just shy towards them. Is this normal? Your thoughts thanks.

I'm a straight guy but I have had homosexual experiences with boys. I don't think I'm gay because i never enjoyed it (It was a sexual assault kind of way, the experiences).

I sleep mostly with Trans girls and girls but this doesn't make me gay or even bisexual. I enjoy both ways.

I think you have intrusive thoughts in sexuality. Cut down on watching Porn or something or find what is causing these intrusive thoughts to make you think you're gay.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Quiet Benin

I'm a straight guy but I have had homosexual experiences with boys. I don't think I'm gay because i never enjoyed it (It was a sexual assault kind of way, the experiences).

I sleep mostly with Trans girls and girls but this doesn't make me gay or even bisexual. I enjoy both ways.

I think you have intrusive thoughts in sexuality. Cut down on watching Porn or something or find what is causing these intrusive thoughts to make you think you're gay.

Yeah I get intrusive thoughts about other things too. I’m sure this feeling will pass but when I look at men online I don’t get that feeling like I do with women but I will take your advice. Thank you 👍🏻

Reply 4

Anonalex2001

1

Hey any update on this? I have a friend that in a similar situation and I really am struggling with how to help him, every time I bring up the topic it seems to make our relationship worse but I also know that he has no one else to talk to it about and has no other support. Any advice would be greatly appriciated

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

Weird I know but I can’t stop thinking about being gay yet i’m not sexually attracted to men and have always fancied women. I have never had luck with women and I can’t stop thinking about being gay yet when I look at these men, I don’t get turned on and wouldn’t want to be with them as I think it’s not for me but the feeling won’t go away. I think this will just pass and I have always been straight and have always been sexually attracted to women. If I was sexually attracted to men then I would say that I was gay or bi but I know in myself I am not and I always have a fear of talking to women cus I fancy them or i’m just shy towards them. Is this normal? Your thoughts thanks.

I was never attracted to men myself, but when was 19/20 I had a brief physical "attachment" with someone bit younger than me. Was entirely sexually driven , prob coz were both young and horny, but I grew out of that very quickly. Doesnt appeal to me at all now. Just make the most of life and dont have any regrets, JUST DO IT (whatever "it" may be). Before you know it will all be over. As I told someone once. 20 years goes very quickly. 4 x 20 years = 80 !!

Questioning my sexuality yet not sexually attracted to men

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