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17 Daughter Sexting 19 Boyfriend, is this illegal?

She has been with her boyfriend for roughly 6 months, of which they've been sexually active for a few.

She left her phone on display the other day and I noticed a notification pop-up from her boyfriend, describing sexual acts they were going to perform together. I spoke to my daughter immediately after this and have confirmed no sexual/nude images have ever been exchanged - I'm aware exchanging images is certainly against the law as shes under 18.

Is them sexual flirting / sexting still illegal if no images are being exchanged? Thanks for your replies, I'm worried sick!

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So is she just 17? Or 17 1/2?
She may be 18 in 6 months.
Personally I wouldn’t worry but obviously it depends on your impression of the 19 year old.
You could ruin your relationship with your daughter

I don’t think a 17/19 year old is a thing to worry about. A17 year old lad is likely to be far less mature.
Original post by Anonymous
She has been with her boyfriend for roughly 6 months, of which they've been sexually active for a few.

She left her phone on display the other day and I noticed a notification pop-up from her boyfriend, describing sexual acts they were going to perform together. I spoke to my daughter immediately after this and have confirmed no sexual/nude images have ever been exchanged - I'm aware exchanging images is certainly against the law as shes under 18.

Is them sexual flirting / sexting still illegal if no images are being exchanged? Thanks for your replies, I'm worried sick!


You should probably speak to someone about it. I think it’s probably against the law for under 16s since the age of consent is 16.
Age of consent in UK is 16, but you're asking about sexting which is different (18 min). Boyfriend is older than 18, your daughter is under 18. You said no images have been exchanged. The nature of conversation is important. If they are talking about sexual acts they'd perform on each other (not kissing, but like sexual you know what I mean), then that would be illegal. However, I'm not sure how seriously the authorities would regard this situation.

I don't see what the problem is though as no images have been exchanged.
Original post by Anonymous
She has been with her boyfriend for roughly 6 months, of which they've been sexually active for a few.

She left her phone on display the other day and I noticed a notification pop-up from her boyfriend, describing sexual acts they were going to perform together. I spoke to my daughter immediately after this and have confirmed no sexual/nude images have ever been exchanged - I'm aware exchanging images is certainly against the law as shes under 18.

Is them sexual flirting / sexting still illegal if no images are being exchanged? Thanks for your replies, I'm worried sick!

Not illegal if they are not sharing images or requesting them.
https://childlawadvice.org.uk/information-pages/sexting/

Still worth a talk with your child about possible implications if said boyfriend is really trustworthy and what he might do with those fruity chats and who he might show them to in different circumstances.
Reply 5
Original post by Anonymous
She has been with her boyfriend for roughly 6 months, of which they've been sexually active for a few.

She left her phone on display the other day and I noticed a notification pop-up from her boyfriend, describing sexual acts they were going to perform together. I spoke to my daughter immediately after this and have confirmed no sexual/nude images have ever been exchanged - I'm aware exchanging images is certainly against the law as shes under 18.

Is them sexual flirting / sexting still illegal if no images are being exchanged? Thanks for your replies, I'm worried sick!

"Sexting" is not illegal, but taking, possessing or sharing photos of anyone under the age of 18 is. This applies to your daughter as well, as in it would be a criminal offence for her to share a nude photo of herself with anyone.
Original post by Anonymous
Is them sexual flirting / sexting still illegal if no images are being exchanged? Thanks for your replies, I'm worried sick!

As you've no doubt found, the vast majority of the information you'll find on this subject is about images, rather than text.

This leaflet, found on the Police Service of Northern Ireland web site, says:

If it’s sexually explicit text/chat between an adult and a child (this can include requests for pictures of a sexual nature):
There may be a possible offence and you should contact your local police station on 101 for further guidance. Do not delete or alter any material.


So, there's at least a suggestion here that as your daughter is under 18 and her boyfriend is over 18 (and hence technically an adult), then there might be an issue.

I suspect that the only cases where this would be true would be if the adult were in a position of trust and/or there was a suggestion that grooming might be taking place - neither of which would appear to apply. However, I'm no lawyer and don't know for sure.

Other than calling 101 (which I would imagine that you're not be keen to do), the other option would be to follow this advice in the same leaflet: "Anyone looking for advice about sexting or keeping children safe online, or concerned about the safety and welfare of a child, can contact the NSPCC’s 24-hour helpline on 0808 800 5000 or email [email protected]"
Bear in mind that if you do take it further, and pictures have been sent, by your daughter, she can also be prosecuted for sending them.
You need to step back and think about longer term consequences, good and bad.
Original post by DataVenia
As you've no doubt found, the vast majority of the information you'll find on this subject is about images, rather than text.

This leaflet, found on the Police Service of Northern Ireland web site, says:



So, there's at least a suggestion here that as your daughter is under 18 and her boyfriend is over 18 (and hence technically an adult), then there might be an issue.

I suspect that the only cases where this would be true would be if the adult were in a position of trust and/or there was a suggestion that grooming might be taking place - neither of which would appear to apply. However, I'm no lawyer and don't know for sure.

Other than calling 101 (which I would imagine that you're not be keen to do), the other option would be to follow this advice in the same leaflet: "Anyone looking for advice about sexting or keeping children safe online, or concerned about the safety and welfare of a child, can contact the NSPCC’s 24-hour helpline on 0808 800 5000 or email [email protected]"

The boyfriend isn't in a position of trust, not keen on calling 101! It would seem odd that they can perform those acts legally and talk about them in person, but then not text each other about it later on.
Original post by domonict
So is she just 17? Or 17 1/2?
She may be 18 in 6 months.
Personally I wouldn’t worry but obviously it depends on your impression of the 19 year old.
You could ruin your relationship with your daughter

I don’t think a 17/19 year old is a thing to worry about. A17 year old lad is likely to be far less mature.


Shes 17 1/2
I'd suggest staying out of her phone and respecting both their privacy tbh... If you already know they are in a legal sexual relationship then you should be kinda keeping your nose out beyond genuine problem signs, otherwise you will end up seeing things you don't want to and they certainly don't want you to .
Original post by StriderHort
I'd suggest staying out of her phone and respecting both their privacy tbh... If you already know they are in a legal sexual relationship then you should be kinda keeping your nose out beyond genuine problem signs, otherwise you will end up seeing things you don't want to and they certainly don't want you to .

Honestly I agree 100%.
I understand you are worried, but there are chances to seriously damage your relationship if you don't stay within boundaries - from experience.
I think being worried sick is a bit of an overreaction. Yes, it’s technically illegal but loads of youngsters exchange nudes. She should wait until she’s 18 but if she’s sent some already then her boyfriend shouldn’t send them around as that would be classified as broadcasting child porn.
(edited 1 year ago)
Original post by Son of the Sea
I think being worried sick is a bit of an overreaction. Yes, it’s technically illegal but loads of youngsters exchange nudes. She should wait until she’s 17 but if she’s sent some already then her boyfriend shouldn’t send them around as that would be classified as broadcasting child porn.

She is 17, no nudes were sent.
Original post by StriderHort
She is 17, no nudes were sent.

Sorry, meant 18.
Original post by Wired_1800
You should probably speak to someone about it. I think it’s probably against the law for under 16s since the age of consent is 16.


she is not under 16 and you are suggesting her dad tell the police or something on her?? lmao he is speaking to people on here about it. shes old enough to make her own decisions
Original post by sapphireA
she is not under 16 and you are suggesting her dad tell the police or something on her?? lmao he is speaking to people on here about it. shes old enough to make her own decisions

It’s already been answered that sexting for under-18s is illegal.

I suggested that he spoke to a professional like the feds about the sexting.
Thanks for all your replies.

To clear some things up she is 17 and her boyfriend is 19. The boyfriend is a lovely person and I have no concerns about exploitation with them both being in a loving relationship. The question is whether their flirtatious / sexting text messages are actually breaking the law (no pictures have or will ever be sent). I can understand why they do it as they do not get to see each other regularly, however if they are breaking the law they will refrain themselves until they see each other in person! There seems to be mixed replies here about whether any laws have been broken, likewise the online advice lacks clarification on this or at best says "there may be a possible offence". Can anybody clear this up?
Original post by Anonymous
Thanks for all your replies.

To clear some things up she is 17 and her boyfriend is 19. The boyfriend is a lovely person and I have no concerns about exploitation with them both being in a loving relationship. The question is whether their flirtatious / sexting text messages are actually breaking the law (no pictures have or will ever be sent). I can understand why they do it as they do not get to see each other regularly, however if they are breaking the law they will refrain themselves until they see each other in person! There seems to be mixed replies here about whether any laws have been broken, likewise the online advice lacks clarification on this or at best says "there may be a possible offence". Can anybody clear this up?

Why are you deeping it for ? No pictures have been sent. Your primary concern should be that your daughter is happy and not being taken advantage of by her boyfriend, regardless of his age.
Original post by Wired_1800
It’s already been answered that sexting for under-18s is illegal.

I suggested that he spoke to a professional like the feds about the sexting.


call the police on his daughter?!

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