Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Sex! Consent from the girl?? Watch

    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    Basically, this guy at a nearby school has been charged with attempted rape or something after he invited a girl back to his house, she agreed and one thing led to another and he claims that her behaviour indicated she was up for it....

    This got me thinking. When you have sex with a girl who you are not in a long term relationship with, do you ask her explicitly for her consent? do you assume it based on her leading the way? or her showing no signs of discouragement?

    i.e. How do you check to ensure you've got the girls consent?

    Girls, what do you expect the guy to do?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Erm... ask?
    But you know, kind of like... get some shame.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Well, if she's taking your/her clothes off, it's normally a good sign :p:
    I think you can tell if a girl doesn't want to, at the end of the day. Normally a no, please stop, screaming, etc., would ensue otherwise...

    Besides, either way it's still your word against hers; what were you planning to do - have her sign a piece of paper saying she was happy to have sex with you at this date? :p:
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    If the guy ends up asking in whatever way, fair enough; but I'd say that if I wasn't specifically saying no or making it clear that I wasn't interested, that would be my consent.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I've heard a couple of cases of this. There hasn't been an audible 'yay' or 'nay', then afterwards the girl was all, 'But I didn't want to ' That doesn't count. If you are in a situation and it is clear where the situation either is heading, or might head. Plenty of opportunity to say no. Unless you've been jumped, bound, and gagged, in which case you can still press charges, but on different grounds.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    If she doesn't seem fully up for it then best to ask.. Just use your common sense.

    The courts will usually let every Tom, **** and Harry off with rape anyway - despite rape law being 'OTT'.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    There is a gap in the market for consent forms. Anybody wanting to make some monies....

    "I ___________ Consent to having sexual intercourse with ___________." "Witnessed by ____________. Signature of witness __________ and the parties involved _____________ & __________" "Dated ________"
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    "Are you sure about this?" will suffice, although if she doesn't tell you to stop & you're both over 16, you have no obligation to ask for her consent.

    Don't worry so much.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Yes, when the pants come off, I jump up and run to my desk.

    "Please fill this form SC4b and sign here, here and here before we may proceed. I will also need a document proving your age."
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    We've been doing this in criminal law, consent can be verbal or also expressed through conduct

    Rape has three elements;

    1) Lack of consent
    2) Penetration
    3) A reasonable person would not believe what happened before hand would amount to consent
    • #1
    #1

    (Original post by Mr Nonsense)
    Basically, this guy at a nearby school has been charged with attempted rape or something after he invited a girl back to his house, she agreed and one thing led to another and he claims that her behaviour indicated she was up for it....

    This got me thinking. When you have sex with a girl who you are not in a long term relationship with, do you ask her explicitly for her consent? do you assume it based on her leading the way? or her showing no signs of discouragement?

    i.e. How do you check to ensure you've got the girls consent?

    Girls, what do you expect the guy to do?
    well I think there's nothing wrong with making a move and taking the lead as long as you're not taking advantage of her ( i.e completely off her face/unconcious) and that when she says no, or that she wants to stop, you stop immediately.

    I've been in a situation where I was kissing a boy and his hands started to move down my stomach and I took his hand and brought it back up and said no. You could criticise me maybe for 'leading him on' but I don't think kissing and a bit of boob fondling means it has to lead to sex. I guess because he was drunk he couldn't take no for an answer, that doesn't excuse his behaviour, but he tried yanking down my underwear whilst I was trying to pull it back up telling him to stop and get off me, bloody ripped them and I loved that pair. I violently pushed him away, and that finally gave him the hint and he buggered off.
    I'm not stupid, I knew what he was after but that doesn't mean I'm obliged to give it to him just because he's kissing me. I hate it when guys are persistent when you've made it clear what you don't want them to do. /rant!
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    just say "are you alright/Are you sure" or whatever
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by HJV)
    Yes, when the pants come off, I jump up and run to my desk.

    "Please fill this form SC4b and sign here, here and here before we may proceed. I will also need a document proving your age."
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by HJV)
    Yes, when the pants come off, I jump up and run to my desk.

    "Please fill this form SC4b and sign here, here and here before we may proceed. I will also need a document proving your age."
    Finally, someone with some sense.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Legal consent can explicit or implicit.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    When I clicked on this I genuinly expected the post to be along the lines of

    "What is the world coming to??!?"

    :getmecoat:
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    People who are intoxicated can't give legal concent though can they?
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Ewan)
    People who are intoxicated can't give legal concent though can they?
    Drunken consent is still consent, if someone agrees to intercourse out of character but they know what they are agreeing to at the time it is consent
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Ewan)
    People who are intoxicated can't give legal concent though can they?
    Its depends on whether the intoxication can be seen as self-inflicted or not.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    It's all fun and games until someone whines about consent.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: November 12, 2008
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Would you like to hibernate through the winter months?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.