Do you have random long chats with your mum?

So my mother and I don't get along. At all. It wasn't until an emergency of mine happened this Spring that we reunited, and we still bicker. She was always abusive and has made us homeless and stuff and child welfare has had to step in a lot, and she was raised by abusive adoptive parents who discarded her when she turned 18 and I grew up watching her be anti social, coming home from work for my whole life crying or fussing about basically bullying and sabotaging colleagues, and she's divorced and retired and like proper on her ones, she tries to keep up with her biological siblings but they don't care as much. She's got one friend on the literal other end of the country. Her favourite child is my older sister who lives several hours away at uni.

For the passed 10 years when I did live with her she has been expressing hatred for me and we literally never spoke to each other even if we were right next to each other or I just left the room when she walked in, she's locked and kicked me out over those years (The last straw was when I got a lil student loans and she wanted the money off me and I said no obviously) and since then she had been begging me for years to move out and I finally did couple years ago. But now I stay with her again at practically rock bottom, due to her offering me to move in with her following my situation (I argued with a landlord and they didn't renew my annual tenancy) which I didn't expect her to even offer me to move in considering our fall out, it was weird and sudden. After I moved out I came to visit my younger relatives who I raised, and she barred me from the house and I cussed her out but she's offered to let me move in to help her around. She's not even old but claimed her pension early so obvs wants extra income in the house. I spent almost £1000 on moving and travel and lodging costs to relocate with her.

Well now she needs companionship I guess and wanders in my room a lot to chat about random shite like lol and I don't really give her a response. I just let her talk cos regardless of my situation, my personality and mentality is the same. I don't agree with stuff like she's very racial and kind of a conspiracy theorist and thinks she's right about everything. I think she talks just to talk tbh but I don't like chat back.

I'm asking if it's normal to not socialise with your mum. Like despite what we've been thru and me having to change my personality overnight to make her feel better basically. Plus I have things to keep me busy. I told her to get a podcast 😂 since she likes to hear herself talk and all. I was being dead serious. Like I'm applying for jobs in this new town, I've got **** on my mind and I don't wanna talk about race and religion and cryptic politics and ****. She's my mum. I'm half her age. We've nothing in common. I've pretended to be more religious than I am for her because she keeps calling me the devil. But she did save my life sort of. Yet I don't wanna be fake and like go in her room and chat and hug her. It's not my fault she doesn't have a spouse or mates to keep her busy. 🤷 do YOU chat with your mum a lot....? Like your mates and that? Dunno.....

Reply 1

londonmyst

No- I haven't spoken to my violent mother in years.
I was raised in a toxic & controlling household surrounded by unreasonable people and escaped 9 years ago before a levels were over.
I will never go back or have any contact with my 3 surviving ancestors.
Nor any of their vile pals.

I hope that you will be able to cope with your mothers load of nasty bull and find alternative accomodation suitable to your needs soon. :smile:

Are you a full time student who will be returning to studies in the autumn?
If not, you may want to register for UC and contact your local council to register yourself as homeless staying in short term emergency accomodation which you may have to leave with very little notice.
Good luck!

Do you have random long chats with your mum?

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