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Accept and wait for her or whoever is written for me is for me?

Hello I am a muslim in his twenties, and wanted advice on whether I accept and wait for the woman I love who is going through a difficult time affecting her mental health albeit however long it takes I am prepared to wait for her in the goal and hand to marriage or do I face reality and accept that whoever is written in my hands is for me.

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Always trust your gut instinct and listen to what your common sense is telling you. :smile:

A person with serious long term mental health issues often knows that they are not in a position to consider having a close relationship, marriage or ever having a biological family.
Often they have extremely high needs and suffer from limited regular daily functionality that renders them unable to cope with the responsibilities of work or participating in close relationships.

They do not want to burden someone that they were once close to with nursing or personal care responsibilities when they are unable to look after themselves.
Nor risk creating bitterness in a partner, resentment at being held back or estrangement between family members who will blame them for ruining a partner's future.
Good luck!
Original post by londonmyst
Always trust your gut instinct and listen to what your common sense is telling you. :smile:

A person with serious long term mental health issues often knows that they are not in a position to consider having a close relationship, marriage or ever having a biological family.
Often they have extremely high needs and suffer from limited regular daily functionality that renders them unable to cope with the responsibilities of work or participating in close relationships.

They do not want to burden someone that they were once close to with nursing or personal care responsibilities when they are unable to look after themselves.
Nor risk creating bitterness in a partner, resentment at being held back or estrangement between family members who will blame them for ruining a partner's future.
Good luck!


So more or less means I will have to move on 😪:frown::bawling:
Original post by Anonymous
Hello I am a muslim in his twenties, and wanted advice on whether I accept and wait for the woman I love who is going through a difficult time affecting her mental health albeit however long it takes I am prepared to wait for her in the goal and hand to marriage or do I face reality and accept that whoever is written in my hands is for me.

As a Muslim myself, I would just like to remind u that u should be thinking that whoever is written for you is for u. Allah's will and Qadr will always come about. Allah's plan is always best for u, whether u see that now or not and u shouldn't question it as it will happen (by Allah's will). U never k, maybe this girl is the 1 written for u or maybe there's some1 better. Trust me, I k how it feels. A girl I liked doesn't want me despite showing signs etc. I gave up on her and I always leave it to Allah as he (SWT) will always choose what's best for me alhamdulilaah
Original post by londonmyst
Always trust your gut instinct and listen to what your common sense is telling you. :smile:

A person with serious long term mental health issues often knows that they are not in a position to consider having a close relationship, marriage or ever having a biological family.
Often they have extremely high needs and suffer from limited regular daily functionality that renders them unable to cope with the responsibilities of work or participating in close relationships.

They do not want to burden someone that they were once close to with nursing or personal care responsibilities when they are unable to look after themselves.
Nor risk creating bitterness in a partner, resentment at being held back or estrangement between family members who will blame them for ruining a partner's future.
Good luck!


It’s just I care so much about her and as innocent as she maybe there’s cruel men out there and I just want her to make sure she gets treated properly and well by a man like myself for example who will do everything to look after her.
Original post by Anon-ymous
As a Muslim myself, I would just like to remind u that u should be thinking that whoever is written for you is for u. Allah's will and Qadr will always come about. Allah's plan is always best for u, whether u see that now or not and u shouldn't question it as it will happen (by Allah's will). U never k, maybe this girl is the 1 written for u or maybe there's some1 better. Trust me, I k how it feels. A girl I liked doesn't want me despite showing signs etc. I gave up on her and I always leave it to Allah as he (SWT) will always choose what's best for me alhamdulilaah


Salaam brother yes I think this but this girl is perfect I love everything about her and as I said I would give her all the time in the world and be prepared to wait for her.
If someone tells you that now isn't the right time for them to be dating then it's unlikely that waiting will help your case. No matter how much they stress that it's them, not you, the reality is often that you're just not the right person. It's typically meeting someone new that helps them heal and makes them realise they feel ready to date again.
(edited 1 year ago)
You are still very young in your 20s so there is no need to give up on her yet. Many people have these kinds of health difficulties at this age but can still go on to lead happy lives. It's actually a good sign that you are prepared to support her and wait for her rather than just walking away, some guys your age would just leave at the first sign of trouble, so it's nice that you want to be there for her. I would give it time, let her take the time and space she needs to deal with her problems, be there for her even just as a friend, then see where things are once she is in a better position in her life. You don't need to make an all or nothing decision yet.
Original post by Anonymous
You are still very young in your 20s so there is no need to give up on her yet. Many people have these kinds of health difficulties at this age but can still go on to lead happy lives. It's actually a good sign that you are prepared to support her and wait for her rather than just walking away, some guys your age would just leave at the first sign of trouble, so it's nice that you want to be there for her. I would give it time, let her take the time and space she needs to deal with her problems, be there for her even just as a friend, then see where things are once she is in a better position in her life. You don't need to make an all or nothing decision yet.

Hi thank you and I appreciate it a lot everything between us was going so well and I could see how much she was happy with me, and with all due respect I respect the fact she needs the time to overcome this and I want to be the man to gift her happiness, ensuring she’s treated right and supported well when she needs me the most. She did say she is still open to marriage just not yet and my name would be bought up in her discussions come when the time is right.
Original post by Anonymous
Hi thank you and I appreciate it a lot everything between us was going so well and I could see how much she was happy with me, and with all due respect I respect the fact she needs the time to overcome this and I want to be the man to gift her happiness, ensuring she’s treated right and supported well when she needs me the most. She did say she is still open to marriage just not yet and my name would be bought up in her discussions come when the time is right.

That's good, you look like you have the right approach to this. And she has said she is still keeping you in mind for marriage in the future, which shows you are important to her. Hope everything works out for you.
Original post by Anonymous
That's good, you look like you have the right approach to this. And she has said she is still keeping you in mind for marriage in the future, which shows you are important to her. Hope everything works out for you.

Thank you very much and I appreciate it a lot she holds a special place in my heart and you know it’s a matter of waiting now I guess with patience. Thank you once again
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you very much and I appreciate it a lot she holds a special place in my heart and you know it’s a matter of waiting now I guess with patience. Thank you once again


You're welcome, best wishes to you both.
Original post by 1582
If someone tells you that now isn't the right time for them to be dating then it's unlikely that waiting will help your case. No matter how much they stress that it's them, not you, the reality is often that you're just not the right person. It's typically meeting someone new that helps them heal and makes them realise they feel ready to date again.

Dating would not be the correct connotation to her I am the “right person” but at this moment the wrong time because of her going through her mental health problems.
Original post by Anonymous
Salaam brother yes I think this but this girl is perfect I love everything about her and as I said I would give her all the time in the world and be prepared to wait for her.

W.salaam. Good u think that bc the way u said it and what u said was wrong so I was clearing that up. That's fine if u want to wait for her bc u never k, it may be Allah's hukum (Qadr / will). Just make sure u remember to keep things halal for ur own sake and hers (I k u must be or r trying to). Just make dua that Allah grants u a pious spouse and the best spouse that would be suited for u.
Original post by Anon-ymous
W.salaam. Good u think that bc the way u said it and what u said was wrong so I was clearing that up. That's fine if u want to wait for her bc u never k, it may be Allah's hukum (Qadr / will). Just make sure u remember to keep things halal for ur own sake and hers (I k u must be or r trying to). Just make dua that Allah grants u a pious spouse and the best spouse that would be suited for u.

Jazakallah, Inshallah.
Original post by Anonymous
Jazakallah, Inshallah.


Waiyaak
Original post by Anonymous
Hello I am a muslim in his twenties, and wanted advice on whether I accept and wait for the woman I love who is going through a difficult time affecting her mental health albeit however long it takes I am prepared to wait for her in the goal and hand to marriage or do I face reality and accept that whoever is written in my hands is for me.


....what's the difference...


Are you speaking in code here? And basically saying, do you get arranged marriage or do you find the woman you like yourself, when if others think you selected the wrong woman?

Well you could end up arranged with someone wrong too.
Original post by Bang Outta Order
....what's the difference...


Are you speaking in code here? And basically saying, do you get arranged marriage or do you find the woman you like yourself, when if others think you selected the wrong woman?

Well you could end up arranged with someone wrong too.

Accept as in Im prepared to wait for her for however long it takes or whoever is written in my hands is for me. Though arrange marriage is tradition in Asian society.
Original post by Bang Outta Order
Are you speaking in code here?
And basically saying, do you get arranged marriage or do you find the woman you like yourself, when if others think you selected the wrong woman?
Well you could end up arranged with someone wrong too.

The OP is a strict follower of islam and is mentioning islamic predestination teachings & other connected traditions.
Original post by londonmyst
The OP is a strict follower of islam and is mentioning islamic predestination teachings & other connected traditions.

Thank you :smile:.

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