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Pls mark my english literature essay.

Question: How does Shakespeare present Romeo as passionate?

(GCSE English Literature AQA- Romeo and Juliet)

Answer:In this extract, Shakespeare presents Romeo as a passionate character. Romeo repeatedly refers to Juliet as a “fair saint” and a “dear saint”, emphasising how Romeo thinks of her as an important person in his life. The adjective “fair” is used to suggest Juliet’s beauty, which is a main factor in relationships and therefore proves Romeo to be passionate about Juliet. The noun “saint” is an example of religious imagery, and illustrates that Romeo finds Juliet to be comparable to the divine meaning she is of upmost importance, especially because of how essential religion was in their society. In the 16th century, the Church had a huge influence on society. They had to live by a set of rules, which counted as above the law in some cases for example, going to Church on a Sunday was compulsory and anyone who failed to attend had to pay a fine. This evokes the audience to admire how Romeo feels about Juliet, seeing as he thinks of her as highly as God, even in such a religious society.

Despite being destined for Juliet, Romeo was previously lovesick due to another woman Rosaline, whom he loved and tried to woo however his feelings were not reciprocated. He was so passionate about her, but his rejection now makes his days seem long and empty. Romeo exclaims, “O brawling love! O loving hate!” to illustrate how Romeo is trying to express his overwhelming and confusing emotions. This oxymoron could also signify that Romeo can love and hate Rosaline simultaneously because he is in love with her, but also despises her for how she is now making him suffer. This evokes the audience to feel bad for Romeo, because many may have experienced a similar feeling to that of rejection. In the medieval times, relationships were quite stereotypical in the sense that a man would often try to woo a woman, to whom he was attracted to, by writing her poems or complimenting her beauty. The woman was expected to be cold and distant at first, before rejecting or accepting his love. This is known as courtly love and is what Romeo was demonstrating with Rosaline and later, Juliet.

Another example of when Romeo is passionate is when he meets Juliet for the first time. He immediately tells Juliet how much he wants to give her a “tender kiss”, which illustrates how he has fallen in love with her at first sight thus emphasising how they are destined for each other. The noun “kiss” is an intimate action, so suggests how Romeo wants to express his emotions with physical acts. This evokes the audience to feel emotional because they can see how much the pair love each other but know they won’t be able to be with each other freely in this life as they cannot escape their fate. Many people in the Elizabethan era believe that their lives were predestined and decided by the stars, in Romeo and Juliet’s case the stars are against them which is why it is believed they could never be together.
Reply 1
I'm studying comparative literature at uni atm so I'd love to mark it!

-The first point is weak, the question is HOW Shakespeare presents Romeo as passionate. All you've done is reiterate the question. A better point to match your evidence would be 'Shakespeare presents Romeo as passionate by having him use religious imagery when describing Juliet.'
-Avoid sweeping statements like 'emphasising how Romeo thinks of her as an important person in his life' it does not add anything to your argument.
-Too much context in this paragraph, not enough analysis of the text. Could mention the repetition of 'saint' emphasises his passion as he cannot stop complimenting her to the divine. Also by simply adding complimentary adjectives before the noun 'saint' he further embellishes the word even though it is already a great compliment which represents his passion.
-Also, as it is such a religious society, you could say his passion causes him to exaggerate Juliet's person as saints were regarded as closer to God than regular people.

-Make sure your paragraph starts with a clear point.
-You do not mention Romeo's passion in the second paragraph at all. How does his heartbreak make him be presented as passionate? - That is the question that arises from your evidence.
-You could argue Romeo's passion for love is shown through his heartbreak.
-For your explanation, focus on the adjectives 'brawling' and 'loving' and nouns 'love' and 'hate' when describing the oxymoron- go in depth like you did in your first paragraph. (e.g. what do those specific words invoke in relation to each other).
-The context makes no sense with your evidence and does not show how romeo is passionate. You do not need context for every paragraph if it is not relevant.


-Do not start off the paragraph with the evidence and then introduce the point. The structure should be: Another way Shakespeare presents Romeo as passionate is through physical acts. For example...
-'This evokes the audience to feel emotional...' This sentence is very broad.
-That last sentence introduces random evidence that does not relate to your first evidence and does not relate to your point.

Judging from this, this essay was supposed to be based on an extract, however, it seems like you introduced points and evidence not present in the assigned extract. When writing an essay from an extract, only use quotes from that extract. The only time you should mention things not from the extract is by mentioning what happens right before and after the extract to give context to what is happening. Occasionally, you can mention something not from the extract but that should be limited to a sentence or two.
Reply 2
Original post by budzik
I'm studying comparative literature at uni atm so I'd love to mark it!

-The first point is weak, the question is HOW Shakespeare presents Romeo as passionate. All you've done is reiterate the question. A better point to match your evidence would be 'Shakespeare presents Romeo as passionate by having him use religious imagery when describing Juliet.'
-Avoid sweeping statements like 'emphasising how Romeo thinks of her as an important person in his life' it does not add anything to your argument.
-Too much context in this paragraph, not enough analysis of the text. Could mention the repetition of 'saint' emphasises his passion as he cannot stop complimenting her to the divine. Also by simply adding complimentary adjectives before the noun 'saint' he further embellishes the word even though it is already a great compliment which represents his passion.
-Also, as it is such a religious society, you could say his passion causes him to exaggerate Juliet's person as saints were regarded as closer to God than regular people.

-Make sure your paragraph starts with a clear point.
-You do not mention Romeo's passion in the second paragraph at all. How does his heartbreak make him be presented as passionate? - That is the question that arises from your evidence.
-You could argue Romeo's passion for love is shown through his heartbreak.
-For your explanation, focus on the adjectives 'brawling' and 'loving' and nouns 'love' and 'hate' when describing the oxymoron- go in depth like you did in your first paragraph. (e.g. what do those specific words invoke in relation to each other).
-The context makes no sense with your evidence and does not show how romeo is passionate. You do not need context for every paragraph if it is not relevant.


-Do not start off the paragraph with the evidence and then introduce the point. The structure should be: Another way Shakespeare presents Romeo as passionate is through physical acts. For example...
-'This evokes the audience to feel emotional...' This sentence is very broad.
-That last sentence introduces random evidence that does not relate to your first evidence and does not relate to your point.

Judging from this, this essay was supposed to be based on an extract, however, it seems like you introduced points and evidence not present in the assigned extract. When writing an essay from an extract, only use quotes from that extract. The only time you should mention things not from the extract is by mentioning what happens right before and after the extract to give context to what is happening. Occasionally, you can mention something not from the extract but that should be limited to a sentence or two.


Thank you so much. The question was to a) comment on how Romeo is passionate in the extract and b) to show how he is presented as passionate in the rest of the play.
My teacher told me to embed context in each point which is the only reason why I did it. I kind of struggle on the reader effect that's why it's not as strong. I appreciate it a lot I failed english literature on my mocks got 8s on everything else so I'm trying to improve. Your reply really helped!

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