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too tight - worried about a new partner watch

    • #1
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    #1

    heya, well i find it quite hard to have sex generally as i appear to be, um, tighter than average. i've been having sex since i was 15 and i'm 20 now but it is still often really difficult. it was ok with my ex because he understood and it was embarrassing when it hurt too much for us to do it (usually it hurts a tiny bit at the beginning but then is ok, but sometimes my muscles just feel really tense). i'm worried now because i have a new partner and i know we're going to have sex soon, and i really want to, but i'm scared it won't work because i'm too tight and it will be TOTALLY embarrassing. i've tried lube and more foreplay and taking things slow but it doesn't always work. suggestions?
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    The biggest thing you can do, but also the hardest, is to just totally relax. The more it plays on your mind the more it will actually hurt. The foreplay and lube should work too.

    But also, explain to him. Stop being embarrassed, its better to just say and let him take measures to make sure you're alright too, than for him to bang it in and hurt you. If hes worth being with, and having sex with, he'll understand and go gentle with you.
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    once its in it will be better for him, and if he can't fit it in at first he will atleast believe he has a large ****.
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    once its in it will be better for him, and if he can't fit it in at first he will atleast believe he has a large ****.
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    Maybe you have a form of vaginismus?

    http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Vaginis...-+Introduction
    • #2
    #2

    I'm very similar to you! I've been having sex since I was about 16, I'm now 20, and sex has never been anything except painful/uncomfortable.
    I've tried lube, different positions, lots of foreplay, trying to relax, a few drinks, watch porn, but nothing seems to help! It's really becoming a problem with my relationship, because my boyfriend of 3 years isn't too happy that we rarely have sex (probably 5 times in the past 6 months or something ridiculous like that) compared to all his friends (who are at it like rabbits), plus most of the times we do have sex I end up crying because of the pain!

    I know this doesn't actually help you at all, but at least you know you're not alone! My only suggestion, and something which I'm about to start doing, is using a vibrator to try to stretch yourself out a bit so that it won't be so painful actually having sex. Hopefully that's something you can consider, because I think it might be useful. Good luck, anyway!
 
 
 
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