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How do you deal with people who make fun of you for being quiet and shy?

I’m quite a shy and quiet person. I sometimes struggle to keep conversations going around people I don’t really know / I’m not comfortable with.

I have a friend and recently I was laughed at and they said it was “funny” because I held a conversation with someone outside the friendship group.

I’m quite hurt. Why would they find it funny? I’m just shocked.
Can you be sure they were laughing to mock you, or just that they thought it was cute or unusual? If they're mocking you, then they're not really your friends are they?!? They should be supporting you... although, I've experienced it sometimes when trying to speak another language and i can't quite get the accent and / or pronunciation right...but it's more of an "aww bless" laugh rather than a "Ha ha, look at the stupid idiot" type laugh

... and well done from me, for actually having a conversation with someone form outside your group :smile:

I understand it must have been a big step for you... but you know what? if you can do it once, you can do it again.
Original post by Old Skool Freak
Can you be sure they were laughing to mock you, or just that they thought it was cute or unusual? If they're mocking you, then they're not really your friends are they?!? They should be supporting you... although, I've experienced it sometimes when trying to speak another language and i can't quite get the accent and / or pronunciation right...but it's more of an "aww bless" laugh rather than a "Ha ha, look at the stupid idiot" type laugh

... and well done from me, for actually having a conversation with someone form outside your group :smile:

I understand it must have been a big step for you... but you know what? if you can do it once, you can do it again.


It was over a text message. Basically they asked if I and this other person were talking and I said yes why and then they said that it’s just funny so I said how is it funny and then they didn’t reply and ignored me
Original post by Anonymous
It was over a text message. Basically they asked if I and this other person were talking and I said yes why and then they said that it’s just funny so I said how is it funny and then they didn’t reply and ignored me


If it's over a text message, then it can be difficult to see exactly how it was meant to be taken. They can be misinterpreted in so many ways, as the words are "cold" (emojis can help with this sometime, but not always). T

Remember, when you're talking to someone face to face IRL, your facial expressions, body language and tone of voice will all contribute to how a message is meant to be taken. In fact, it's said that with face to face communication, the actual words used only account for about 10% of the whole communication.

If that sounds a bit strange, think of it this way... I'm not sure if you've ever owned a pet dog or a cat... obviously you can't have a "wordy" conversation with them... but they can still communicate very well with their owners and people who know them... because they still get that other 90% of communication we use.

Basically, you need to clarify how/ why they thought it was funny... maybe they know or suspect that the other person likes you (OSLT)...but yeah, you need to clarify what was funny before you jump to conclusions.
I think my own shyness seems to be mistaken for haughtiness.

"What, you're too high and mighty to talk to us?"

It's hard to explain away not talking with people! "Oh, not at all, I'm just very shy."

"Bull****. You just don't care."

Talk yourself out of that one! You really can't. Just show humility in your actions, as well as in conversations you are able to have.
Don't be so over the top
Original post by karl pilkington
Don't be so over the top

Who says I am?
Who is over the top and what do you mean?

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