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    Everything is so ******* mundane. I'm ******* mundane at the minute.

    I've been through a lot this summer, my whole summer was spent in hospital where i nearly died. Back at college, ****. My friends from outside of college have moved to university and i'm alone now basically. Yes, i present myself as a super social guy, which i was, but now i'm nothing but that Chinese "foreign" guy that everyone ignores. Yet, i don't see what is wrong with me, I'm well socially adjusted etc with my old set of mates. Just a lot of free periods in the library working my arse for these Law degree offers which seem so many months away; or wandering about. So yeah, I've been in a bit of a ******* recently. I thought i wasn't going to miss my friends, but now i do, badly. The banter with the lads, touching the girls in inappropriately in public, and in general having the best time in my life yet.

    If you haven't already figured this out, I dislike my college. I only have 2 teachers who i don't actually mind, and even then the rest of day pisses me off a lot. They don't actually insult me or anything, I just find their personalities offputting to say the least. Case in point, my History teacher, the one who tries to be 'down with the kids' and tries so hard to be 'cool'.
    The college has an ethos that is a bit up their own arse, this passes on to the students. Not the teachers necessarily. I'm just pissed that i need to be social proofed (a leader of a desirable social group) and demonstrate that i'm pre-selected with the ladies to get the fanny, it is not worth the bother: but this is the truth in life .

    I haven't had sex in months, ****. It doesn't look like i'm going to anytime soon unless i get my arse out there too. I'm going to Sweden next week, hopefully i'm just going to let go and get back to my old self there. Not giving a ****, and basically just being fun and a ******* mofo again.
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    Man, do i have depression or something, this is never ending . I'm thinking like such a puff.
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    You're at a crossroads. You can either continue as you are, and sink into a downward hole, or you can do something about it.
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    This is almost certainly not depression, this is an overreaction to losing your friends. As I see it, all your problems can easily be fixed with a little time and patience... you'll make friends again for sure. Stop being so melodramatic, this isn't Dawson's Creek.
 
 
 
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