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I. Am. Very. Angry.... watch

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    (Original post by marcusmerehay)
    ...mainly with myself.

    I posted a thread in here a few weeks ago saying about how i fancied a girl in my halls, and that i didn't know the best way forward to tell her, never having had feelings like it before and all that jazz.

    When i finally told her after over a fortnight later, i was told "sorry, but i'm not ready for a relationship right now", which i thought was fair comment. But now i find that less than a week later she's going out with someone who is doing my course. As you can imagine, i was not happy in the slightest and have become very withdrawn over the past few days in trying to deal with it.

    Envy is a terrible thing. I know that i have to respect her decision because she is still in essence one of my best friends, but i'm confused and annoyed at the manner in which this has happened. I've never been a person blessed with any kind of self-esteem, self-worth or self-confidence, and this has hardly done anything to aid it.

    It probably won't surprise you to hear that i've never had a relationship with a girl, and when i try to approach women, it always ends p being at the worst possible time. I just don't know where to go from here. I've broken my knuckle from taking out my anger on a brick wall, and i know you shouldn't bottle these things up because i'm finding myself close to bursting point, but there's no-one here that i trust enough to open up to.

    And don't for one second tell me to just go to bed and get some sleep either. There is no chance in hell that that will do anything for me, i was exactly the same last night and all of today.

    I think she told you that she wasn't ready for a relationship because she didn't want to hurt your feelings. Unfortunately, as Democracy said, "There are plenty of fish in the sea". There are many girls out there who would kill to go out with you, so don't be so negative. Don't forget, uni has loads of girls, so you never know, there may be a girl there who you haven't spotted. After all you only seem to have looked at the girls in your halls and those close to you. Be patient, your turn will come to have happiness.
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    (Original post by marcusmerehay)
    ...mainly with myself.

    I posted a thread in here a few weeks ago saying about how i fancied a girl in my halls, and that i didn't know the best way forward to tell her, never having had feelings like it before and all that jazz.

    When i finally told her after over a fortnight later, i was told "sorry, but i'm not ready for a relationship right now", which i thought was fair comment. But now i find that less than a week later she's going out with someone who is doing my course. As you can imagine, i was not happy in the slightest and have become very withdrawn over the past few days in trying to deal with it.

    Envy is a terrible thing. I know that i have to respect her decision because she is still in essence one of my best friends, but i'm confused and annoyed at the manner in which this has happened. I've never been a person blessed with any kind of self-esteem, self-worth or self-confidence, and this has hardly done anything to aid it.

    It probably won't surprise you to hear that i've never had a relationship with a girl, and when i try to approach women, it always ends p being at the worst possible time. I just don't know where to go from here. I've broken my knuckle from taking out my anger on a brick wall, and i know you shouldn't bottle these things up because i'm finding myself close to bursting point, but there's no-one here that i trust enough to open up to.

    And don't for one second tell me to just go to bed and get some sleep either. There is no chance in hell that that will do anything for me, i was exactly the same last night and all of today.
    Just so we're under no illusions, it's not that she wasn't ready for a relationship... it's that she wasn't ready for a relationship with you.

    And also, as you say, it doesn't surprise me at all that you've never had a relationship.

    Sounds harsh, I know.

    But on the upside, you can take away some lessons from this.

    If you want to succeed (not just with women, but with people in general) you must know how to communicate.

    Let me give you one example: picture the person you imagine to be MOST successful with women. Maybe it's a Hollywood actor or maybe it's someone you know? Either way, do you think that guy has EVER punched a brick wall because some chick turned him down? [And I can tell you, pretty much every guy who is successful with women will have been turned down a few times.] The answer is no: that guy you're imagining has never punched a brick wall.

    How do I know?

    Well, because punching a brick wall and breaking a knuckle over a girl is the action of someone who doesn't know how to communicate. It's a manifestation of the sort of angry, frustrated, slightly creepy temperament that will instantly turn any woman off.

    You're envious because you feel you're owed what this other guy has. Let me break it down for you: you're not owed anything.

    Also, what's this wanting to "open up" crap? Open up about what? "Oh I love this girl and she's shagging some other bloke!" No one wants to listen to that crap. What is "opening up" about it going to achieve? Looking for sympathy is accepting the failure; the sympathy becomes a weak substitute for actually having the girl.

    Instead, you need to work on how you appear to women if you want one to fall for you. And I'm not talking physical appearance - although if you're a fatty or skinny you might want to work on that side too.

    Think about what guys who get women have - not money, not model looks, not these conventionally "attractive" qualities.... but ATTITUDE. What is their attitude? Try to emulate that attitude and you'll see a difference. Hint: :cool:

    Tip 1: An important part of the attitude is not allowing yourself to be so messed up by one girl that you become a spiteful ball of frustration.
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    (Original post by Noctilux)
    Just so we're under no illusions, it's not that she wasn't ready for a relationship... it's that she wasn't ready for a relationship with you.

    And also, as you say, it doesn't surprise me at all that you've never had a relationship.

    Sounds harsh, I know.

    But on the upside, you can take away some lessons from this.

    If you want to succeed (not just with women, but with people in general) you must know how to communicate.

    Let me give you one example: picture the person you imagine to be MOST successful with women. Maybe it's a Hollywood actor or maybe it's someone you know? Either way, do you think that guy has EVER punched a brick wall because some chick turned him down? [And I can tell you, pretty much every guy who is successful with women will have been turned down a few times.] The answer is no: that guy you're imagining has never punched a brick wall.

    How do I know?

    Well, because punching a brick wall and breaking a knuckle over a girl is the action of someone who doesn't know how to communicate. It's a manifestation of the sort of angry, frustrated, slightly creepy temperament that will instantly turn any woman off.

    You're envious because you feel you're owed what this other guy has. Let me break it down for you: you're not owed anything.

    Also, what's this wanting to "open up" crap? Open up about what? "Oh I love this girl and she's shagging some other bloke!" No one wants to listen to that crap. What is "opening up" about it going to achieve? Looking for sympathy is accepting the failure; the sympathy becomes a weak substitute for actually having the girl.

    Instead, you need to work on how you appear to women if you want one to fall for you. And I'm not talking physical appearance - although if you're a fatty or skinny you might want to work on that side too.

    Think about what guys who get women have - not money, not model looks, not these conventionally "attractive" qualities.... but ATTITUDE. What is their attitude? Try to emulate that attitude and you'll see a difference. Hint: :cool:

    Tip 1: An important part of the attitude is not allowing yourself to be so messed up by one girl that you become a spiteful ball of frustration.
    Urgh.

    I hate these posters that say everything I wanted to say 10 minutes before I can get there. (wp anyway! )

    I'm gonna add it's not just your attitude that needs improving. You need a sense of having a goal in life that you're committed to reaching (something beyond **** *****es, get money - I assume no-one here will get the Junior Mafia reference).
    Get that nailed, and watch all the goodness jump into your life!
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    (Original post by darkeneddreams)

    ..which is basically what your saying, however she could have been straight with him, hence the ****ging of her off... no need to blaspheme, geez.
    :waggle:
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    I dunno...a guy punching a wall is kind of hot in that 'ooo, macho' kind of way (watch as people wince and start firing up the 'machismo is bad' threads).

    As for you, Mr. OP, yea, she was trying to let you down easy. It's all good, let it go. You are envious now and may want her, but give yourself some 'grieving space' and time. It won't blow over in a day, especially if you pined for her for a while. You might want to distance yourself from her, however, if you find that you can't just be friends anymore without feeling angry.
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    Whilst you're here posting threads on TSR about losing out on this girl, shes probably out getting smashed in by that dude. Go out and find someone new.






    The title of this thread makes me have a mental picture of you as The Hulk.
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    You say you live in the same flat?

    Jeez, you think your angry now, wait till you hear the headboard banging against the wall!!:eek:
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    I. Am. Very. Bad. At. Grammar.
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    Take revenge. That always helps, even if it's just something stupidly insignificant.

    (Original post by CatherineSmith)
    There are many girls out there who would kill to go out with you, so don't be so negative.
    Why do women talk so much ****?
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    (Original post by sooty1230)
    You say you live in the same flat?

    Jeez, you think your angry now, wait till you hear the headboard banging against the wall!!:eek:
    Harsh, imo. :waggle:











































    :toofunny: :rofl: :rofl: :toofunny:
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    I realise this is a minority view, but she might not have been lying. Perhaps she thought she wasn't ready for a relationship, then the right guy came along and she found that it just worked?

    Sorry OP, I know this won't make you feel better. But on the other hand, I don't imagine it'll make you feel worse. To be honest I doubt anything can make you feel better right now, because you need to go through all the feeling-****-stuff so you can feel better later. But know that you WILL feel better later, and you will find a lovely girl one day who will adore you
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    Think about it like this, you asked her out and she rejected you well you are in the exact same place as if you hadnt asked her out. So its not a big deal and it doesnt matter, I feel sorry that shes the first girl to reject you but she wont be the last (trust me on this haha)
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    (Original post by Kevin J)
    The title of this thread makes me have a mental picture of you as The Hulk.
    Really? It makes me think of Gary Oldman's character in The Fifth Element (Zorg?). I don't remember the exact line.
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    Man the fúck up, you emo. You barely know the girl. Buck up, and move on.

    No, really. Just pull yourself together, get drunk, move on.
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    (Original post by Invictus_88)
    Man the fúck up, you emo. You barely know the girl. Buck up, and move on.

    No, really. Just pull yourself together, get drunk, move on.
    Listen to this man, he speaks the truth. Getting drunk is always the answer.
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    You did nothing wrong mate! Doesnt sound like anything could've been done as if she in a few weeks was ready to be in a relationship, she would've ran 2 find you, right? But she didn't so it was just her preference and what not. I am just sorry you had to find out in such a way *sigh*..Trust us when we say you will find someone better who isn't going to take the mick lol
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    (Original post by Noctilux)
    Just so we're under no illusions, it's not that she wasn't ready for a relationship... it's that she wasn't ready for a relationship with you.
    And also, as you say, it doesn't surprise me at all that you've never had a relationship...
    If you want to succeed (not just with women, but with people in general) you must know how to communicate.
    Well, because punching a brick wall and breaking a knuckle over a girl is the action of someone who doesn't know how to communicate. It's a manifestation of the sort of angry, frustrated, slightly creepy temperament that will instantly turn any woman off.
    Repped. This is exactly what I was going to say, particularly the words in bold.. Dude, if I were her, I would probably secretly see you as some over-infatuated (and creepy) wierdo who I wouldn't consider for a relationship in a month of Sundays. I think i might even be scared of you. That behaviour is a hundred shades of wrong dude, you do seen to be infatuated in a slightly posessive way, and you can bet your ass that comes across quite generally.
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    This kind of situation seems all too familiar to me, though I've never had it this bad. All I can say is get out there with your friends, when I feel like you do (self pity/hatred, all inanimate objects are cruising for a bruising etc) the worst thing to do is stay in, alone. All that does is promote introspection and that just makes it worse. Go out with your friends, at least then you won't be alone with your thoughts.
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    (Original post by Invictus_88)
    Man the fúck up, you emo. You barely know the girl. Buck up, and move on.

    No, really. Just pull yourself together, get drunk, move on.
    I don't know who the hell you think you're talking to, i'm as far from an emo as is humanely possible. i was just feeling bad about it, but after getting some ADVICE from people on here i'm feeling a lot better today.
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    As for the headboard banging, i doubt that somewhat as, although she is agnostic, the guy she's dating is quite a devout Christian.
 
 
 
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