Homesickness At Uni
I’m about to start uni in less than a week and I’m super scared. I feel like I’m already homesick. I do something at home, like help mom w/ breakfast and gossip w/ her and I suddenly remember I won’t be able to do this from next week and I burst into tears. I legit cannot stop crying. I have a very strong friend circle at school and I don’t know if I’ll be able to find people like them at uni. I’m just so anxious and I have even been thinking of withdrawing my admission.
Reply 1
20
You have a choice to do what you want to do, but no doubt your friends are all going through the same anxiety. Of course you wouldn't be human if you didn't feel some anxiousness but try and get that into perspective? Is it you being anxious or is it your Mum and family?
You will always be able to come back home any time you want to, we have good transport systems (when they are not striking or repairing) and you won't ever lose your home base and old friends, you can keep in touch always and then just see how you get on.
Your anxiety is normal, everyone is anxious when faced with the unknown, it is scary, but all the new intake at your Uni will be in the same position, you will not be alone. No one will know anyone, that is half the fun. You will gravitate toward people you feel comfortable with and just reassure yourself that if you have found and made good friends at school you will find good friends at Uni
You will face a challenge but throwing in the towel even before you have tried is not the best blueprint to survive life going forward - life is full of challenges that requires courage - just take it a day at a time and give yourself at least six months to decide whether you will fit in at Uni. Most Uni's hold 'freshers' weeks and immerse everyone is link up outings etc so you can find other 'lost souls' to connect with. You will be just fine, .
Go on, get in there and stop allowing your family to worry for you. Before you even know in about 8 weeks or so you will have broken up in November for Christmas!!
You will always be able to come back home any time you want to, we have good transport systems (when they are not striking or repairing) and you won't ever lose your home base and old friends, you can keep in touch always and then just see how you get on.
Your anxiety is normal, everyone is anxious when faced with the unknown, it is scary, but all the new intake at your Uni will be in the same position, you will not be alone. No one will know anyone, that is half the fun. You will gravitate toward people you feel comfortable with and just reassure yourself that if you have found and made good friends at school you will find good friends at Uni
You will face a challenge but throwing in the towel even before you have tried is not the best blueprint to survive life going forward - life is full of challenges that requires courage - just take it a day at a time and give yourself at least six months to decide whether you will fit in at Uni. Most Uni's hold 'freshers' weeks and immerse everyone is link up outings etc so you can find other 'lost souls' to connect with. You will be just fine, .
Go on, get in there and stop allowing your family to worry for you. Before you even know in about 8 weeks or so you will have broken up in November for Christmas!!
Reply 2
You might find that this time before leaving is worse than when you get there. I remember having those sort of emotional thoughts every so often, and it happened a little bit after leaving too but less and less every day. So I would say maybe go and see how you feel when you get there after a while first before pulling out, if that is possible. It would be a shame to pull out now when there's every chance you could really surprise yourself and settle in well! Things are so often not as bad as you imagine, especially since university is such an individual experience and you can effectively tailor it to you in a way that makes you happy and comfortable.
Reply 3
Original post
by AnonymousI’m about to start uni in less than a week and I’m super scared. I feel like I’m already homesick. I do something at home, like help mom w/ breakfast and gossip w/ her and I suddenly remember I won’t be able to do this from next week and I burst into tears. I legit cannot stop crying. I have a very strong friend circle at school and I don’t know if I’ll be able to find people like them at uni. I’m just so anxious and I have even been thinking of withdrawing my admission.
It might be best if you don't go because you aren't even there yet and it's clearly affecting you. Is it to late to back out?
Reply 4
22
My recommendation would be to throw yourself into meeting new people as quickly as you can - if you're homesick there's nothing worse than just sitting quietly in your empty room. Talk with everyone, be the friend you'd want in that situation, because there will be plenty of other people feeling this. Definitely do not quit before you've even started.
Reply 5
Original post
by AnonymousI’m about to start uni in less than a week and I’m super scared. I feel like I’m already homesick. I do something at home, like help mom w/ breakfast and gossip w/ her and I suddenly remember I won’t be able to do this from next week and I burst into tears. I legit cannot stop crying. I have a very strong friend circle at school and I don’t know if I’ll be able to find people like them at uni. I’m just so anxious and I have even been thinking of withdrawing my admission.
Hi there!
Im really sorry that you are feeling this way. I remember feeling the exact same way before I moved to uni. I was super excited on results day but as the days got closer to leaving home i became very overwhelmed and the night before I convinced myself that I didn't want to go. It also didn't help that I am an only child so my mum was upset even thought she was obviously excited for me to go. The blunt truth is that moving to uni can feel scary... you are living independently, meeting a bunch of new people and in an environment that you most likely haven't been in before. But it can also be an incredible experience that shapes you as a person. Once I moved to uni the first week was so busy that I barely thought about home. I met all my flatmates and we went to freshers events and would cook together and it was such a friendly and busy environment. Once freshers week was over there were definitely a few more times that I felt a bit homesick but I would just try and keep myself busy and facetime home (which ended up being very frequently as I realised there was a lot that I didn't know about living independently haha).
But uni was also extremely fun and there was always something to do. I had a few flatmates who felt homesick at times and we told each other to just let us know whenever they felt it and we would go out for a meal and talk about it or go and do something fun as a distraction. A few weeks into uni and I was only really calling home to tell my family everything I was up to. I really enjoyed creating a new routine and cooking whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. For the first time in my life I could take a shower at 2am without worrying about being loud or go shopping in town with my friends whenever I wanted. I was also so busy with uni work that I barely had time to think about being home. If anything it stressed me out thinking about going home without having finishes all my work.
I know it can be scary but if you don't try then you will never know what uni is like and who you will meet. It could end up being one of the greatest times, you just have to go into it with an open mind. Of course it is perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed and anxious at the start whilst you are finding your bearings but you just have to stick through it for a little while. Over time living at uni will feel second nature and obviously you can always visit home (although I would try and avoid this at the very start- if possible get your family to visit whilst you're settling in). If you are still feeling worried after being there for a few months then talk to your uni! Homesickness is one of the most common things so there will always be someone to talk to or give you some guidance. There is always the option of dropping out if you find that uni isn't for you but I would really only consider this as a final straw if you find that you are extremely unhappy.
Please remember that everyone is going through the same thing so you are not alone! It's a new experience for everyone and sometimes the before moving can be the worst part. Once you get there, there are so many new opportunities and experiences at every corner that it might be difficult to find a moment to stop and think about home. That is perfectly fine too. There is no right or wrong way of feeling when you first move to uni so just allow yourself to feel whatever you need to feel.
If you have any uni related questions then I would be more than happy to answer them. Hope this helps!
Congratulations on your place at uni and good luck with the move!
Joanna
-Uni of Kent Rep
Reply 6
Original post
by University of Kent RepsHi there!
Im really sorry that you are feeling this way. I remember feeling the exact same way before I moved to uni. I was super excited on results day but as the days got closer to leaving home i became very overwhelmed and the night before I convinced myself that I didn't want to go. It also didn't help that I am an only child so my mum was upset even thought she was obviously excited for me to go. The blunt truth is that moving to uni can feel scary... you are living independently, meeting a bunch of new people and in an environment that you most likely haven't been in before. But it can also be an incredible experience that shapes you as a person. Once I moved to uni the first week was so busy that I barely thought about home. I met all my flatmates and we went to freshers events and would cook together and it was such a friendly and busy environment. Once freshers week was over there were definitely a few more times that I felt a bit homesick but I would just try and keep myself busy and facetime home (which ended up being very frequently as I realised there was a lot that I didn't know about living independently haha).
But uni was also extremely fun and there was always something to do. I had a few flatmates who felt homesick at times and we told each other to just let us know whenever they felt it and we would go out for a meal and talk about it or go and do something fun as a distraction. A few weeks into uni and I was only really calling home to tell my family everything I was up to. I really enjoyed creating a new routine and cooking whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. For the first time in my life I could take a shower at 2am without worrying about being loud or go shopping in town with my friends whenever I wanted. I was also so busy with uni work that I barely had time to think about being home. If anything it stressed me out thinking about going home without having finishes all my work.
I know it can be scary but if you don't try then you will never know what uni is like and who you will meet. It could end up being one of the greatest times, you just have to go into it with an open mind. Of course it is perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed and anxious at the start whilst you are finding your bearings but you just have to stick through it for a little while. Over time living at uni will feel second nature and obviously you can always visit home (although I would try and avoid this at the very start- if possible get your family to visit whilst you're settling in). If you are still feeling worried after being there for a few months then talk to your uni! Homesickness is one of the most common things so there will always be someone to talk to or give you some guidance. There is always the option of dropping out if you find that uni isn't for you but I would really only consider this as a final straw if you find that you are extremely unhappy.
Please remember that everyone is going through the same thing so you are not alone! It's a new experience for everyone and sometimes the before moving can be the worst part. Once you get there, there are so many new opportunities and experiences at every corner that it might be difficult to find a moment to stop and think about home. That is perfectly fine too. There is no right or wrong way of feeling when you first move to uni so just allow yourself to feel whatever you need to feel.
If you have any uni related questions then I would be more than happy to answer them. Hope this helps!
Congratulations on your place at uni and good luck with the move!
Joanna
-Uni of Kent Rep
Im really sorry that you are feeling this way. I remember feeling the exact same way before I moved to uni. I was super excited on results day but as the days got closer to leaving home i became very overwhelmed and the night before I convinced myself that I didn't want to go. It also didn't help that I am an only child so my mum was upset even thought she was obviously excited for me to go. The blunt truth is that moving to uni can feel scary... you are living independently, meeting a bunch of new people and in an environment that you most likely haven't been in before. But it can also be an incredible experience that shapes you as a person. Once I moved to uni the first week was so busy that I barely thought about home. I met all my flatmates and we went to freshers events and would cook together and it was such a friendly and busy environment. Once freshers week was over there were definitely a few more times that I felt a bit homesick but I would just try and keep myself busy and facetime home (which ended up being very frequently as I realised there was a lot that I didn't know about living independently haha).
But uni was also extremely fun and there was always something to do. I had a few flatmates who felt homesick at times and we told each other to just let us know whenever they felt it and we would go out for a meal and talk about it or go and do something fun as a distraction. A few weeks into uni and I was only really calling home to tell my family everything I was up to. I really enjoyed creating a new routine and cooking whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. For the first time in my life I could take a shower at 2am without worrying about being loud or go shopping in town with my friends whenever I wanted. I was also so busy with uni work that I barely had time to think about being home. If anything it stressed me out thinking about going home without having finishes all my work.
I know it can be scary but if you don't try then you will never know what uni is like and who you will meet. It could end up being one of the greatest times, you just have to go into it with an open mind. Of course it is perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed and anxious at the start whilst you are finding your bearings but you just have to stick through it for a little while. Over time living at uni will feel second nature and obviously you can always visit home (although I would try and avoid this at the very start- if possible get your family to visit whilst you're settling in). If you are still feeling worried after being there for a few months then talk to your uni! Homesickness is one of the most common things so there will always be someone to talk to or give you some guidance. There is always the option of dropping out if you find that uni isn't for you but I would really only consider this as a final straw if you find that you are extremely unhappy.
Please remember that everyone is going through the same thing so you are not alone! It's a new experience for everyone and sometimes the before moving can be the worst part. Once you get there, there are so many new opportunities and experiences at every corner that it might be difficult to find a moment to stop and think about home. That is perfectly fine too. There is no right or wrong way of feeling when you first move to uni so just allow yourself to feel whatever you need to feel.
If you have any uni related questions then I would be more than happy to answer them. Hope this helps!
Congratulations on your place at uni and good luck with the move!
Joanna
-Uni of Kent Rep
Thank you Joanna you’ve been too kind! I’m not dropping out as of now. I plan on going there and well try and experience this university thing once. It’s weird that I’m feeling this way because I’ve always wanted to be independent but suddenly when I actually have to do that I feel so sad and lonely. I think I’m going to miss my mum terribly and that’s what is making me feel this way but thank you, your answer helped a lot ❤️
Reply 7
Original post
by AnonymousI’m about to start uni in less than a week and I’m super scared. I feel like I’m already homesick. I do something at home, like help mom w/ breakfast and gossip w/ her and I suddenly remember I won’t be able to do this from next week and I burst into tears. I legit cannot stop crying. I have a very strong friend circle at school and I don’t know if I’ll be able to find people like them at uni. I’m just so anxious and I have even been thinking of withdrawing my admission.
Hi there,
Trust me, I know exactly how you feel. In my last 2 weeks at home I cried every single night. Everything set me off. Looking at my bedroom and remembering I won't be here anymore, I'd get irritated if my mom told me to do the dishes then burst into tears because I know in 2 weeks she won't be telling me that again. I had a really close group of friends I spent my gap year with and we were all splitting up to go to study in different countries, and all I could think about was how I already have rare, amazing friends, I don't want to make the small talk with random strangers when I know I have the best friends in the world. I received a scholarship to study anywhere in the world, all fees covered, and I considered giving up that opportunity because of how anxious I was to leave home.
It's hard, I won't lie. But honestly, the days leading up to leaving were the hardest part. Once you've said your goodbye, the hardest part is over, even if it won't feel like it. But you're going to have so many things taking up your time and you will be in such a new space that you won't be focusing on what you miss, you'll simply be caught up with everything else going on. You will have your off days where you feel homesick and cry but the important thing to remember is that: the homesickness feeling doesn't last. Once you've cried it off, you won't continue feeling like that forever.
I was an international student, and my entire world changed when I moved to England to study. Every single thing was different and I'm someone who hates change. But being surrounded by something unfamiliar made the transition easier. The hardest parts was saying goodbye to my mother when she left England, and leaving home after visiting in my first year. I stayed up for my 2nd and 3rd year straight and everyone thought it was so hard for me, but the longer you're aware the harder it is to remember the things you left behind, even harder to miss them.
You may be off at uni, but calling home and visiting isn't out the door! And this isn't forever. Before you know it, you'll be finishing up your time and uni and feeling sad to leave your new room. So how you feel is very normal, I felt the same. But this is the hard part and you'll make it through it soon, and you will be just fine.
Best of luck, and if you have any more concerns feel free to post them!
Jade
Official University of Southampton Rep
Reply 8
Hi, it's understandable to feel this way, moving out of your home and away from loved ones can be hard at first, but it will help you to grow so much as a person and as an adult who can care for themselves.
Adjusting to living away from home just takes time, so it's common to feel homesick when you first move away. Bring along photos and items that remind you of your family and put these in your room, so they can comfort you if you feel down and miss them. Decorate your room of all your favourite things and get new things, have a fun shopping trip to buy new things for your room/uni. Have your parents visit you in your new place and make time to go see them as well, and have plans to meet up with other friends from back home. You can see family and friends every weekend/every two weeks if you want to as well as speak on the phone/Facetime.
My advice is to throw yourself into the university experience, try anything that seems interesting to you, be it: freshers events, societies; 'give it a go' one off events; events run by the students union; volunteering opportunities; if it appeals to you you could be a course or departmental rep - once you do all these things, you will be able to find a routine that suits you and be able to enjoy yourself. Your mum would want this for you too ❤️
Home sickness tends to kick in after freshers events are over and the activities you were doing start to wind down, so plan to see your family at this time, and these feelings will lessen as time goes on
I hope this helps.
- Rosie
Adjusting to living away from home just takes time, so it's common to feel homesick when you first move away. Bring along photos and items that remind you of your family and put these in your room, so they can comfort you if you feel down and miss them. Decorate your room of all your favourite things and get new things, have a fun shopping trip to buy new things for your room/uni. Have your parents visit you in your new place and make time to go see them as well, and have plans to meet up with other friends from back home. You can see family and friends every weekend/every two weeks if you want to
as well as speak on the phone/Facetime. My advice is to throw yourself into the university experience, try anything that seems interesting to you, be it: freshers events, societies; 'give it a go' one off events; events run by the students union; volunteering opportunities; if it appeals to you you could be a course or departmental rep - once you do all these things, you will be able to find a routine that suits you and be able to enjoy yourself. Your mum would want this for you too ❤️
Home sickness tends to kick in after freshers events are over and the activities you were doing start to wind down, so plan to see your family at this time, and these feelings will lessen as time goes on
I hope this helps.
- Rosie
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