My dad at graduation

I graduate this winter and am really worried about my dad wanting to come to my graduation ceremony. Basically my dad is 3 years into a 15 year prison sentence!

I graduate from my Msc this winter. My dad didn't come to my undergrad ceremony as he felt it would have been too awkward for me! But now he says that he really wants to see me graduate from my msc. The trouble is that if he comes, he will have to have a prison officer with him and he says he will have to be handcuffed to the officer.

I doubt there will many other people's dads who will be at graduate tethered to a screw!! I think it will be really awkward and embarrassing but I'd really like my dad to be there!

I know that I shouldn't care what people think and to some extent I don't. Its just that no-one knows my dads in prison (never really come up in conversation and it isn't the sort of thing you just randomly mention) and I don't want people to be too obviously :eek:

when they see him.

I'm not really sure what I am asking here. I guess I just wanted somewhere to tell my troubles!!

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Reply 1

Vel250

what did he do? i know it has nothing to do with it, but i'm just interested... 15 years is pretty serious.

on topic: well i would say who cares what other people think its Your DAD....and this moment is pretty important in your life...

but then again i'm not the one that has to go through it all.

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

Hello there, I can empathize because my Dad has served prison sentences in the past, and when I was in Primary and Secondary school, sometimes he was banged up in jail for various things. But fortunately, my time at university has been markedly different.

He is your Dad and although he may not have thought about you and doing good for you when he did the things he did to get locked up, he has a right to see his offspring graduate. I think everybody will be so wrapped up in their own dealings that they won't notice it, and if they do, I know you think this yourself, it's not their business.

It may not even be as bad as it seems, they may not chain him up but just stay glued to his side - I don't know how it works.

I wish you all the best...

Reply 3

LozengeC

And it's not like in american films, he won't be wearing an orange jumpsuit most likely. :p:

It'd be nice if you would ask them whether he could be tethered to a plain clothed policeman, so it'd be less noticeable?

Anyway, I think both you and your dad will regret it if he's not there. If he's in jail you won't have as much contact than if he wasn't anyway, and I think it'd be better for your relationship if he were there. Plus you obviously want him there, and why shouldn't you be happy? It's a very special day for you. :smile:

Anyway, hope it goes alright! :biggrin:

Reply 4

vapid slut magician

hold your head high and spend an important day with your dad. who cares what people think, no one's perfect.

Reply 5

InvertedSaucepan

vapid slut magician

hold your head high and spend an important day with your dad. who cares what people think, no one's perfect.

I agree. Your dad's possible misdeeds shouldn't be the focus. He made you who are, a successful graduate; if anything, he should be congratulated at your graduation. :smile:

Reply 6

Elektrolite

He's your dad. Thats all that matters.

Reply 7

Mr. Orange

Congratulations on your graduation!

It would mean a lot to both of you if he was present and I second LozengeC's suggestion, but it is out of your hands.

Reply 8

RyanT

In 10 years time you'd care more about your dad being there then your friends, many of whom will lose contact with you within 3 years. Friends are for today, family are forever.

Reply 9

Kevin J

Are you really going to see these people that much, if at all, after you graduate?

If no, then **** 'em.

Reply 10

tired yet?

I'd be well chuffed if me dad had been in prison, it's definately a talking point

Reply 11

Charlski

Let your dad come :smile:

He will be there for you in the future, a lot of your friends at uni will fade out of the picture in the next couple of years.

Reply 12

Valkyrja

I agree with the above....

Your father will be your father in ten years time. If you think about all the people you knew five years ago - how many of them do you give a crap about now? I bet that most of the people who were you classmates - you can't really remember.

If you want your father to be there, then go for it, don't feel ashamed of where you come from or who your parents are. You are graduating with an Msc and you managed it whilst your dad was in prison....thats an incredible amount of emotional stress to go through and yet youre still going to be there in your gown and cap.

Go for it, and congratulations!

Reply 13

ColdVein

Kevin J

Are you really going to see these people that much, if at all, after you graduate?

If no, then **** 'em.

Couldn't have put it better myself

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

Vel250

what did he do? i know it has nothing to do with it, but i'm just interested... 15 years is pretty serious.

He killed someone. Yeah I know that sounds pretty bad, but it was a gang grudge kind of thing from years ago and whatever...

And for those of you that mentioned it, yes it would be a plain clothes screw-so he wouldn't look too suspicious but my dad would still have to be handcuffed to him.

I do want my dad there, its just a bit awkward and I'm kind of dreading it a little

Reply 15

Wild_Precious_Life

Did you take him in the end?

Reply 16

Reue

I hope not. When he committed a crime worthy of 15 years in prison, he gave up his privilege of watching the graduation imo.

Reply 17

Comp_Genius

Anonymous

I think that is irrelevant. It is his constitutional right, I guess, to be at his daughter's graduation. Why should you care what others think? It's not like it's their business anyway.

Reply 18

Kay.Tey

Comp_Genius

I think that is irrelevant. It is his constitutional right, I guess, to be at his daughter's graduation. Why should you care what others think? It's not like it's their business anyway.