The Student Room Group

How to tell if a guy likes me??

I’m really clueless at it and a lot of times I’m interested in a guy but think he isn’t, only to later find out that he was.

So what are some signs that guys are interested, especially when you dont really speak much to them?!
Original post by Anonymous
I’m really clueless at it and a lot of times I’m interested in a guy but think he isn’t, only to later find out that he was.

So what are some signs that guys are interested, especially when you dont really speak much to them?!


Be human and talk to him?

To find out whether someone likes you shouldn't be a guessing game. We're not 5 years old.
Worse still, people dropping hints that they like each other and expect the other to make the move or have everything fall into your laps. We're not toxic idiots with instincts of a rock. It's not human behaviour to drop hints like that.

Don't get me wrong, you can probably pick up social cues and read into him as a person. However, if he's not a particularly social person or you don't really talk, it doesn't really matter if you find out that he likes you anyway.

If neither of you are talking that much, the easiest way to see if he does and to make things happen, is to try to be a bit more intimate and talk like normal people. Being human is far more powerful as a means of attraction and romance than what stupid, disgusting, toxic ideas "romantic" cheesy films potray. If he is being more intimate and personal with you, and he's a decent guy, take it as a positive sign.
Original post by Anonymous
Be human and talk to him?

To find out whether someone likes you shouldn't be a guessing game. We're not 5 years old.
Worse still, people dropping hints that they like each other and expect the other to make the move or have everything fall into your laps. We're not toxic idiots with instincts of a rock. It's not human behaviour to drop hints like that.

Don't get me wrong, you can probably pick up social cues and read into him as a person. However, if he's not a particularly social person or you don't really talk, it doesn't really matter if you find out that he likes you anyway.

If neither of you are talking that much, the easiest way to see if he does and to make things happen, is to try to be a bit more intimate and talk like normal people. Being human is far more powerful as a means of attraction and romance than what stupid, disgusting, toxic ideas "romantic" cheesy films potray. If he is being more intimate and personal with you, and he's a decent guy, take it as a positive sign.


I cant really just go and start speaking to him like that though because it would be a bit weird/awkward..I do prefer the guy to at least give some indication of being interested before I make any moves, to avoid making things awkward etc
Original post by Anonymous
I cant really just go and start speaking to him like that though because it would be a bit weird/awkward..I do prefer the guy to at least give some indication of being interested before I make any moves, to avoid making things awkward etc

To be honest, if he is a fairly confident guy then he would make it pretty obvious that he likes you anyway. But if he's very shy and not so confident then it would be pretty hard to tell.
Original post by Anonymous
To be honest, if he is a fairly confident guy then he would make it pretty obvious that he likes you anyway. But if he's very shy and not so confident then it would be pretty hard to tell.


Obvious how, what are the signs? Im literally clueless and just assume that the guy is just flirting as “banter” and not actually interested
Original post by Anonymous
I cant really just go and start speaking to him like that though because it would be a bit weird/awkward..I do prefer the guy to at least give some indication of being interested before I make any moves, to avoid making things awkward etc


I fail to understand how it's any less awkward not to talk to him as things are now.

In my experience, breaking the ice in the most awkward fashion is still better than not doing anything at all.
I have heard stories of how girls who decided to stay quiet for as long as 25 years regretted not speaking to guys because they (guys) weren't bothered and they (girls) chickend out. A lot of lost time for a collosally stupid reason.

Basic social skills do not involve dropping hints or making things difficult to socialise. This is not how adults talk, and this is not how kids talk. I don't know where you lie on the spectrum. If this is how you converse as an adult in later life, you will have a lot of trouble meeting people in general and it won't get any easier.
Unless you are in some weird cult/religion where you can only communicate using smoke signals and morse code, then I might excuse you for not trying to talk. Don't put the blame on others for your cowardice. Chances are he won't go out on a fit of rage just because of an awkward conversation. (I, on the other hand, will delight in ridiculing you for having the communication skills of a pigeon.)

By the way, on all counts, waiting for people to indicate their interest before talking is weirder than going up to them and talking. In no culture around the world in any point in anthropological history have I ever came across a situation where this is the social etiquette norm of any culture. On no accounts in any psychological and biological human behaviour known to date, is this sort of behaviour considered normal for humans with healthy social skills. Social conversations should not be this weird.
ask him. if you're interested in him, tell him. You either get a yes or a no. It won't kill you. People are so weird about "losing a friendship" I promise you, that is gonna happen a dozen times in your life for a multitude of reasons and it really isn't something to be that scared of.

Sincerely, a tired old fart
If he really liked you then it wouldn't be a question
Original post by Anonymous
I fail to understand how it's any less awkward not to talk to him as things are now.

In my experience, breaking the ice in the most awkward fashion is still better than not doing anything at all.
I have heard stories of how girls who decided to stay quiet for as long as 25 years regretted not speaking to guys because they (guys) weren't bothered and they (girls) chickend out. A lot of lost time for a collosally stupid reason.

Basic social skills do not involve dropping hints or making things difficult to socialise. This is not how adults talk, and this is not how kids talk. I don't know where you lie on the spectrum. If this is how you converse as an adult in later life, you will have a lot of trouble meeting people in general and it won't get any easier.
Unless you are in some weird cult/religion where you can only communicate using smoke signals and morse code, then I might excuse you for not trying to talk. Don't put the blame on others for your cowardice. Chances are he won't go out on a fit of rage just because of an awkward conversation. (I, on the other hand, will delight in ridiculing you for having the communication skills of a pigeon.)

By the way, on all counts, waiting for people to indicate their interest before talking is weirder than going up to them and talking. In no culture around the world in any point in anthropological history have I ever came across a situation where this is the social etiquette norm of any culture. On no accounts in any psychological and biological human behaviour known to date, is this sort of behaviour considered normal for humans with healthy social skills. Social conversations should not be this weird.


So how do you recommend i go up to a random stranger and start a conversation with him?
Original post by rosy_posy
If he really liked you then it wouldn't be a question


I’m very clueless tho :frown:(
Original post by Anonymous
So how do you recommend i go up to a random stranger and start a conversation with him?


I wouldn't start with a pick up line. That's incredibly cheesy.

Most people start with a mutually beneficial, environmentally sound, or conventional opener. Asking about the weather is dull and uninteresting, but it was a standard way of opening up a conversation. If you're both students, you can ask about timetable, teacher, homework, something that happened in class. If you noticed that he is wearing something unusual, compliment on it.

It does not need to be flashy. It does not need to be impressive. It does need to feel normal, it needs to be comfortable, and it needs to develop into a conversation (casual one at least). If it sparks up a minor chuckle, it's fine so long it's not an insult to you or him. A casual hi is better than nothing. Be down to earth enough that you can laugh at your own mistakes; it shows that you're human.

Surely you have made friends before. If you think back on those times when you first met, you warmed people up before it developed into anything, irrespective of whether they became friends or not.

I can't speak for other people, but being able to be intimate, having fun, engage in a conversation, and showing the appropriate level of interest, are better than having the prettiest face in school when it comes to dating for this straught guy. A person who is human (who connects, is personable, is down to earth) is far more attractive in my book.

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