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    • #1
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    #1

    ...when the person you're going out with talks about their ex's?

    it just peeves me a bit. in particular when they talk about sexual stuff.

    (please keep anon)
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    that doesnt happen with me since she doesnt have any ex's. and i dont talk about mine with her.

    she has, however, gone through the myspace page of one of my ex's for apparently no reason and found my lovey dovey messages to her, got all upset about it and cried for a long time. and has talked about how i have "loved before her" (which tbh i havent, not on this level) and got all upset about that. annoys me a tad to say the least.

    OP, tell them that you dont wanna hear about. tell them you dont wanna feel like you are being compared to their ex's.
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    Depends on the context I guess. My current girlfriend doesn't actually have much experience before me anyway so its not that relevant. But from past relationships it can bother me a little, but in particular when they make some form of comparison to you, which makes you feel inferior to them in that regard.

    But if something naturally comes up in conversation and thats like "oh that reminds me of when my ex did this" and that sort of thing, its absolutely fine. They're an ex for a reason, so although sometimes you may worry about being inferior in comparison, the evidence says otherwise. :yep:
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    I had a bit of a tiff with my boyfriend and he went on my blog, even thuogh I told him to never read my blog when he's upset. He did. He read all my old posts about my ex boyfriends and felt inferior aka even worse than he was feeling already to them because I don't talk about him a lot in my blog posts - I think it's my private business and I don't need people reading about it. He understands better now, but sometimes exes do come up in conversations, since I am still friends with two of mine and he's best friends with his last one.

    We don't bring it up when we're fighting though ... because they're irrelevant.
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    (Original post by strawberry)
    I had a bit of a tiff with my boyfriend and he went on my blog, even thuogh I told him to never read my blog when he's upset. He did. He read all my old posts about my ex boyfriends and felt inferior aka even worse than he was feeling already to them because I don't talk about him a lot in my blog posts - I think it's my private business and I don't need people reading about it. He understands better now, but sometimes exes do come up in conversations, since I am still friends with two of mine and he's best friends with his last one.

    We don't bring it up when we're fighting though ... because they're irrelevant.
    You DID put it in a public space. It's hardly like he went and read private messages between you and your ex. That'd be different but backtracking old stuff thats public is fair game if you ask me. Getting upset over it is stupid, don't get me wrong, but actually doing it is alright.
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    I dont as a rule when im in a relationship its not really needed as its the past. I can see how it would be annoying it would get to me as i would feel i was being compared to the ex etc.
    • #2
    #2

    I do the opposite, I actually grill my partner about his exes, just because I'm curious and wondered what happened, where did he go wrong and such. I even ask about first kisses, sexual experiences and such. I'm just curious I suppose (though it might get me jealous at times, it's self-inflicted.)
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    sounds about normal then?

    ok cool. thanks guys.
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    My boyfriend has more tact than to talk about his ex p even when I'm in an irrational "yeah well x was a lot skinnier than me, she was pretty wasn't she" mood. He's well trained to deal with my hormonal moods
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    No because when it happens it's relevant. Although I suspect if we were at concerts and I was saying things like, "Would Louise like this type of music?" then that might get a bit inappropriate. It's all about context
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I do the opposite, I actually grill my partner about his exes, just because I'm curious and wondered what happened, where did he go wrong and such. I even ask about first kisses, sexual experiences and such. I'm just curious I suppose (though it might get me jealous at times, it's self-inflicted.)
    lol. I do this too.

    makes me feel bad after. but I asked for it I suppose.
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    Well, it annoys me when the girl I like starts talking about her ex... Maybe I should make up an invisible ex and talk about her too?? So I don't feel left out
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    It's disrespectful to talk about your ex's to your current girlfriend or boyfriend, unless they ask. You have the right to get pissed off.
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    (Original post by tis_me_lord)
    You DID put it in a public space. It's hardly like he went and read private messages between you and your ex. That'd be different but backtracking old stuff thats public is fair game if you ask me. Getting upset over it is stupid, don't get me wrong, but actually doing it is alright.
    no I meant I don't blog about him the way I did about my exes because I've grown up now and don't think that my relationship with him should be all on my blog anymore. And he thought I was preferring to keep him quiet because I was ashamed of him and stuff. So .. I'm not upset that he read through my old posts ... but I told him not to when he's upset because they'd make him upset-er. Get what I mean?
    • #3
    #3

    It annoys me too actually. My boyfriend and I joke about all the exes or guys he's been with in the past, but sometimes he takes it a little too far and likes to give me details of 'how amazing guy X was' or 'how guy Y was a potential boyfriend before I got with you' :rolleyes:

    I reckon I should really tell my boyfriend this, tbh
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    (Original post by strawberry)
    Get what I mean?
    Ah yeah I get ya! :yep:

    Ignore my earlier post. :o:
    • #4
    #4

    no u r soo right to be annoyed. u dont want to be thinking about your parter with their exes in a sexual way. no one i know does. infact only one of my partners ever discussed that and i quickly changed the subject in a not so subtle way so they would get the hint not to bring it up again
 
 
 
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