I don't know what to do anymore.
I'm a 16 year old girl. For the past 5 years of my life I've been battling with my weight. I've had a rubbish relationship with food since I was very young.
I can't help but constantly feel so fat. I wear huge layers and layers of clothes because I can't stand my body. It's hideous. I don't let people hug me, or touch me, it freaks me out to the extent that I've cried before when someone put their hand on my hip. I feel like every single part of me is so hideous. I know it's crazy, but I've even worn gloves before because I think my hands are fat. I can't stand to go out, and am essentially a recluse. I can't stand other people to see me.
See, I know this is an issue. I just feel that before I try to sort myself out, I must push myself to the very limit. I've tried to do this for five years but fail miserably. I may fast for a few days, but then I'll binge (and not always purge), and then fast again. I know I need to eat because I want to concentrate and do well in my exams. When I eat, though, I can't eat normally. Ever. I always eat and eat and eat. I have a huge issue with eating in front of others. I shake, and cry. I can't eat a thing in front of others. This isn't such a big deal since my friends are used to me, and I'm always home alone. I don't see family much. My weight has remained relatively steady, and I'm not particularly medically underweight (BMI of around 17 - 17.5). I'm quite healthy. I'm just tired, dizzy bloated and sick often. I have lost my period before, but mostly it's every month, just for a day or two.
Would I be laughed at if I went to the doctors? Am I just being stupid? Would the doctor just tell me to eat less and stop moaning because it's my fault I'm fat? I feel like I want to stop eating so I can be thin and then perhaps, I guess, be taken seriously. I'm such a frikkin' attention seeker by the sounds of it. I feel like I am after writing this.
........ (eating problem) watch
- Thread Starter
- 13-11-2008 22:31
- 13-11-2008 22:53
From what you've written, I think you should go to the doctors sometime soon. Missing your period does not sound like a good sign. Your BMI does not suggest a person who is overweight, far from it. Go and see your doctor.
- 13-11-2008 23:07
A doctor would never laugh at you! So don't ever think that, the doctor will want to help you in any way possible.
It's also clear that you know you are doing damage to your body which is more reason to see a doctor sooner rather than later.
Don't worry about thinking you are 'attention seeking'. You are far from it, you are concerned about your body and health and are looking for advice, don't worry.
See a doctor and good luck x
- 13-11-2008 23:10
Any doctor that laughs at you for this needs reporting and would be struck off. Eating disorders are nothing to be taken lightly and any health care professional - or indeed, any decent human being - worth their salt will not ridicule you or think any less of you for this.
I don't think you sound like an attention seeker, I think you need to get some help with this. It's not a sign of weakness to get help. Good luck x
- 13-11-2008 23:10
A doctor won't laugh at you. Go to the doctors to get things sorted, he/she can give you some advice and support that way you can get help and be able to concentrate on your exams and get the grades you want. All this stress is not good for you mentally or physically. It's good your looking for help but you should get some from the professionals, as your 16 the doctor can't discuss anything with your parents, so they won't know.
Good luck and I hope you feel better about yourself gradually over time Good luck with your exams too, don't let all this bring you down and get in the way, it can be overcome.
- 13-11-2008 23:22
I won't pretend to you that all doctors are as knowledgeable and sensitive about eating disorders as they should be...BUT if you push it they will be able to refer you to someone who is more specialised. I only say that so that you're prepared if your GP isn't exactly well-versed on the topic.
anyway, you should certainly try and get help. you deserve it and it sounds like you recognise how this is affecting your life negatively. all those fears you have are totally natural, believe me. but NO sane person would tell you to lose weight, your weight is significantly lower than it should be although I realise it doesn't feel that way to you. I also get you on wanting to 'push yourself to the limit' before you sort it out. I can't get rid of that mindset myself even after spending my entire adolescence going back and forth, reaching very unhealthy low weights several times...it never feels like 'the limit'
I may be in danger of rambling now so I will stop but feel free to PM
- 14-11-2008 02:43
a healthy BMI according to many sources is 20-25 therefore you are quite underweight, and you obviously have troubles with your eating which a doctor will be able to help with - not laugh at! im here if you need someone to chat to - just pm me