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Problem choosing friends at university Watch

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    "You have to decide on which group of friends value you more, or else you'll end up losing both" - Neutral friend

    I hate the fact that I have to choose. Even though there's no pressure from either side to join them, spending time with one group will invariably mean I've lost contact with other friends.

    In the past I used to drift between groups because there was nobody I identified with in particular. Ironically now at university I'm facing the same problem but instead it's due to opposite reason. :rolleyes:

    It's horrible knowing that as time goes on, people are getting closer but because I want to be friends with people in different groups. I'll end up just becoming a friendly face, somebody on the outskirts.

    Anybody faced this dilemna before? What should I do?
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    Why do you have to choose? Can't you just be friends with both? You're not 14 anymore, you don't need a 'group'.
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    I think these groups that form at uni are ridiculous. You should be able to be friends with whoever you want. I don't see why you have to decide, it all seems a bit childish to me. Just go with your instincts, only you know which group you will prefer more, as we don't know the first thing about either group.
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    I know how you feel but its just best that you remain friends with both friendship groups
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    I had the same problem, or blessing depending on your view, at school. I managed to juggle the groups. :^_^:
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    (Original post by nosnibor)
    Why do you have to choose? Can't you just be friends with both? You're not 14 anymore, you don't need a 'group'.
    (Original post by libertine861)
    I think these groups that form at uni are ridiculous. You should be able to be friends with whoever you want. I don't see why you have to decide, it all seems a bit childish to me. Just go with your instincts, only you know which group you will prefer more, as we don't know the first thing about either group.
    I'm not being told to choose. They don't conflict with each other.

    But... it's just how friendships develop. The more time you spend with someone, the better you get to know them and vice versa.

    Ending up as a friendly but not close friend of people.
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    (Original post by LH123)
    I had the same problem, or blessing depending on your view, at school. I managed to juggle the groups. :^_^:
    Do you ever feel as if you could have become better friends? If you get what I mean.

    It's a blessing since I've met wonderful people. Now I just don't want to lose these friends.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Do you ever feel as if you could have become better friends? If you get what I mean.

    It's a blessing since I've met wonderful people. Now I just don't want to lose these friends.
    Well I realised after I posted that that actually I did drift away from one group, but I became much better friends with the other one. However, this is at sixth form, where cliques are still very evident and I'd like to think university isn't as bad, although it probably is.

    I think it's possible to be good friends with both, the only reason I didn't manage it was because I'm a paranoid ******* and cannot trust anyone.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm not being told to choose. They don't conflict with each other.

    But... it's just how friendships develop. The more time you spend with someone, the better you get to know them and vice versa.

    Ending up as a friendly but not close friend of people.
    I think when drama happens in the group or someone needs someone to talk to, they are more likely to trust you and you won't get involved in the drama. You'll be in a unique position and it's no bad thing.
 
 
 
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