The Student Room Group

Flat mate didn’t include me in a post even though I was there

My flatmate is cliquey with one of the others already- the three of us went out clubbing and took pics etc. I’m not as pretty as them and the one particular flatmate didn’t really dance/ include me at all. The other non- cliquey flatmate is nice and includes me but probably feels influenced because the other flatmate is prettier than me. Anyway, on an ig post the flatmate didn’t include any photos of me or tag me but included some photo with a stranger. I feel annoyed bc it feels like secondary school again. I’ve never been pretty and when I was out with them other people ignored me too. I hate to sound childish but I don’t know what to do. Do I just not go out with them again? I have to live with them for another 8months- on the night I felt like one girl didn’t like me as much- they’re both Scottish so I don’t know if the girl who doesn’t include me secretly doesn’t like me for that too. I just feel like I’ve already lost my chance to be friends with them now, I always include other people and hate for anyone to feel left out. I also wonder if the girl was being funny because I posted a story and tagged the other girl and not her but I didn’t do it maliciously I just didn’t get any photos of the other girl at all n I know full well she has some of me. I don’t feel like going out with them tonight at all now. Maybe I just have a complex about my looks- I don’t feel jealousy though, never really have, just sad bc I feel inferior. Whenever I go out in the kitchen they sort of ignore me/ don’t include me in conversation unless I say smth first. I haven’t met ppl on my course yet but u really want to get along with the people I live with and feel it’s such a shame.
You are taking social media postings and uploaded selfies far too seriously.
Going out to enjoy student nightlife is supposed to be about having fun and staying safe.
Not social media or dancing with flatmates.

Calm down and listen to what your common sense is telling you. :smile:
Focus on your own ambitions, your finances, studies, doing the things that you most enjoy and making lots of new friends.
Many scottish people are more reserved than the english and find it easier to have closer friendships with scottish students that come from their local area or nearby.
Don't take it personally.
There are plenty of people that you will meet over the next few years that you won't have much in common with or any desire to get closely involved with.
Some you will find so annoying or weird that you will actively try to avoid them.
That is the nature of life- particularly as involves uni, clubbing and flatmates.

Do you want to change your appearance- body shape, hairstyle, makeup or fashion sense?
If so, there are plenty of youtube makeup tutorials and online virtual makeover sites that may be helpful to you.

Ask yourself these questions:
Are you happy with your health and diet?
Do you feel that you need to regularly be social media tagged or accumulate lots of likes & positive comments on your selfies?
Is your mindset mostly positive?
Do you have no change in your self-esteem when you are alone, off the internet, not doing anything connected with selfies and not receiving compliments from random strangers or guys that you do know?
probably coz scottish people are in a foreign land with weird customs and ways. it's perfectly normal. please do not be racist or offensive against scottish people.
Original post by londonmyst
You are taking social media postings and uploaded selfies far too seriously.
Going out to enjoy student nightlife is supposed to be about having fun and staying safe.
Not social media or dancing with flatmates.

Calm down and listen to what your common sense is telling you. :smile:
Focus on your own ambitions, your finances, studies, doing the things that you most enjoy and making lots of new friends.
Many scottish people are more reserved than the english and find it easier to have closer friendships with scottish students that come from their local area or nearby.
Don't take it personally.
There are plenty of people that you will meet over the next few years that you won't have much in common with or any desire to get closely involved with.
Some you will find so annoying or weird that you will actively try to avoid them.
That is the nature of life- particularly as involves uni, clubbing and flatmates.

Do you want to change your appearance- body shape, hairstyle, makeup or fashion sense?
If so, there are plenty of youtube makeup tutorials and online virtual makeover sites that may be helpful to you.

Ask yourself these questions:
Are you happy with your health and diet?
Do you feel that you need to regularly be social media tagged or accumulate lots of likes & positive comments on your selfies?
Is your mindset mostly positive?
Do you have no change in your self-esteem when you are alone, off the internet, not doing anything connected with selfies and not receiving compliments from random strangers or guys that you do know?
Stop trying to make it about your looks or nationality - it won't be either of these things. If you want to be closer to her then just continue making the effort to talk to her and spend time with her.

As for the social media stuff: chances are (a) she didn't like how she personally looked in photos that included you, so chose not to use those ones and/or (b) it just didn't occur to her to tag you (most likely just because you weren't in the photos she uploaded). Don't overthink it.
(edited 1 year ago)
maybe you should be going out a bit more rather than writing essays on TSR...hehe
Original post by squish27
probably coz scottish people are in a foreign land with weird customs and ways. it's perfectly normal. please do not be racist or offensive against scottish people.

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