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am i gay..fallen for someone on my course at uni who's a girl.. but i have a bf :s watch

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    #1

    please keep as anon..

    well im a girl and Ive just started uni and have been dating this guy but now i think ive fallen for a girl? which makes no sense since ive only dated guys. i dont even know her..i just see her in lectures and we both laughed at something once but thats about it, i dont even knw her name its ridiculous but shes all i can think about, even when im on the phone to my bf.. shes just got me mesmorised! does this mean im gay? do u think i shud break up with my bf..its not really fair that im thinking about someone else

    and how do i approach her..because i really do wanna get to know her .. since usually guys approach me..i wanna knw how to approach a girl.. she looks like shes straight though lol
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    have you ever had feelings for girls before, or is this the frist time? If so this is probably a one off thing
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    #1

    hmm not majorly, i had a girl crush on one of my female teachers a few yrs back but ive never dated a girl.. but this is different..i want to date this girl..i want to get to know her..and i dont even know her! and i have a bf! am i horrible?
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    so because you have a crush, that compromises your relationship? I don't get it, unless you'd rather be with her? but you don't know her? is she more important to you than your boyfriend?
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    talk to the girl about it first otherwise your getting your hopes up for no reason
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    i dont know her, but i just feel guilty when im with my bf. She's gorgeous .. how do i talk to her .. i can just go up 2 her and say "Oh btw I'm infatuated with you and I'm thinking of breaking up with my bf for you.. and oh whats ur name?"
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i dont know her, but i just feel guilty when im with my bf. She's gorgeous .. how do i talk to her .. i can just go up 2 her and say "Oh btw I'm infatuated with you and I'm thinking of breaking up with my bf for you.. and oh whats ur name?"

    firstly: are you getting what you need from your current relationship?
    secondly: do you not think after a week of masturbation you'll start to be less infatuated?
    thirdly: this is mainly a physical thing.
    fourthly: do you think your boyfriend is hott?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    1. not exactly..its kinda long distance..hes sweet but its not the same as seeing him often.

    2. lmao, erm im not really sure. i'll get back 2 u in a week on that one, ok?!

    3. hmmm thats what i thought, shes beautiful, but the thing is i reckon if i got 2 knw her i'd just be more infatuated..she seems really nice n when something happend in our lecture we were the only 2 that laughed, which sounds so minute but it meant something to me..lol

    4. im attracted to him, but im ashamed to say this..im way more attracted to her.

    5. do u think im a lesbian? because tbh, although ive never dated a girl..ive gone thru the whole 'am i a lesbian' thing a few times :|
    • #2
    #2

    hmmmm, iv had a similiar experience, though not with anyone in particular; I was convinced I was gay. I suddenly started having feelings when I saw members of the same sex that I interpreted to be of a sexual nature. It became a self-perpetuating feeling, because the more I dwelled on it the more I thought i felt something, and for two weeks or so I thought I was gay. For whatever reason, it stopped delieberating my sexuality in my mind, and soon after the feelings vanished. It may be that convention has supressed those feeling, or that the mind is powerful enough to evoke false feeling when meditated on. in any case, these feelings where brought on because I had ceased to find my gf attractive, so is probably more indicative of my relationahip then, and maybe of yours? I suggest that you talk to her, n see if you click, do not question the way you feel just keep an open mind. Time will reveal the rest.
    • #3
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    (Original post by blackdragonthegreat)
    would you engage in sexual activities with her?
    if yes, then you are, you sick person.

    look im sorry if i offended u, i just wanted some advice. so thinking in this way makes me sick? i dont wanna feel this way..i cant help it
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    I think we're all a little bi-sexual. I think that I could find a guy attractive, but I don't, at least, not sexually, I can admire cuteness (and be jealous:P).

    if you're not getting what you need from the relationship, and it sounds like you're not, talk to him, tell him this, and talk about the possibilities. Open relationship, what your problems are, what you miss, if you can see him more often etc. communicate with him and don't hold back, if you still don't think after talking to him properly about these things, and thinking about what's been said, that you're happy, maybe it's best if you stop being in a relationship with him. This is all about you. If he gets hurt, he gets hurt, that's not your intention and it's nothing to feel guilty about unless it's intentional.

    oh and ignore the troll
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    well then you are misinformed, an illness is something that impedes health, happiness, or welfare. Being homosexual can promote those things for people of that nature (if bigots like you will mind their own buisness).
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    look im sorry if i offended u, i just wanted some advice. so thinking in this way makes me sick? i dont wanna feel this way..i cant help it
    and hopefully you don't want to
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    P.s I am not suggesting you are gay, I think it is probably a phase.
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    (Original post by lazzarus)
    well then you are misinformed, an illness is something that impedes health, happiness, or welfare. Being homosexual can promote those things for people of that nature (if bigots like you will mind their own buisness).
    please shut up, I'm not in the mood for the troll to get fuel, I know you mean well, and I agree with what you're saying, but come on, what good will it do
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    (Original post by blackdragonthegreat)
    she is sick becoz she is gay
    I cant put it any simpler
    And here's me thinking Bavarian Motor Works was the biggest tosspot on TSR. :dontknow:
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    (Original post by there's too much love)
    please shut up, I'm not in the mood for the troll to get fuel, I know you mean well, and I agree with what you're saying, but come on, what good will it do
    I am sorry, but this really does annoy me. What good will it do?!? well ask the millions of people around the world who are confined and supressed by society's disapproval. I dont believe in life after death, so happiness while alive is the ultimate goal, and attitudes which encourage supression without reason is a great cause of ill.
    • #3
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    thanx to all of u giving me advice/defending me. i think i wont act on it..maybe i shud just stick with my bf..its not like i know her.
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    (Original post by lazzarus)
    I am sorry, but this really does annoy me. What good will it do?!? well ask the millions of people around the world who are confined and supressed by society's disapproval. I dont believe in life after death, so happiness while alive is the ultimate goal, and attitudes which encourage supression without reason is a great cause of ill.
    yes, I'm sure that will stop them from trolling. Your post won't do any good now will it? it won't stop people being supressed. I know it annoys you, but why give it any authoirty to let it annoy you, why not just ignore it, or like me, report it for abusing homosexuals
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    (Original post by blackdragonthegreat)
    why are you apologising?
    you can help it, think that you are bringing a terrible shame to mankind and that you will be punished for it on the day of judgement, and you will have to answer to Allah, the Almighty.
    If your grounds are religious, then I emapthize. But try not to impose.
 
 
 
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