The Student Room Group
Original post by Anonymous
It gets me down that I don't have what most girls consider attractive traits like height, muscularity (I am hypogonadal), good looks, etc.

It is not that I wish to be vain or anything but like I would want my girl to love me physically as well if that makes sense.

Umm, OK then...
I say don't worry about it! I hate my looks but my fiance says that I am hot! It could be just low self-esteem!
Original post by Shawn2006
I say don't worry about it! I hate my looks but my fiance says that I am hot! It could be just low self-esteem!


Nope, am 5'7'', low T cos of hypogonadism so not great body, not really what is considered as "masculine" facial traits, etc. I mean, it does affect self-esteem obvs but objectively speaking, nature hasnt been kind.
Remember that different girls often have very different attraction dealbreakers, beauty standards and relationship preferences.
Some girls are attracted by a guy's ambition or intelligence.
Others by his personality and elements like charity volunteering, political ideology or religious convictions.
There will always be a few who are most attracted by money, fame or criminal tendencies.
Original post by Anonymous
It gets me down that I don't have what most girls consider attractive traits like height, muscularity (I am hypogonadal), good looks, etc.

It is not that I wish to be vain or anything but like I would want my girl to love me physically as well if that makes sense.

All girls are different bro, they may like dad bods for example but others may like lean 6-pack guys. Even myself isn't the best looking, buts its pretty good to focus on urself rather then what girls expectations. One thing i did that changed my life from last September was simply hitting the gym, made a workout and ate steadily on a calorie deficit to lose weight and gain muscle easily. Drink plenty of water and use a good skin care routine to take care of ur skin bro. Hmu if u want my workout plan for gym.
I feel similar. I've basically lost all hope of ever having someone be attracted to me. I don't have good looks, a nice personality, a sense of humour, emotional availability or anything else that would make me attractive, and I understand myself well enough to know none of that will ever change.
Original post by Anonymous
It gets me down that I don't have what most girls consider attractive traits like height, muscularity (I am hypogonadal), good looks, etc.

It is not that I wish to be vain or anything but like I would want my girl to love me physically as well if that makes sense.

Hey I'm a girl and I wanted to say that at the end of the day when ur old and wrinkly u won't be so tall instead u'll prolly have a curved back and muscles will be replaced w a skinny skeletony body. Good looks? Wrinkly skeleton old face. Such things don't last but u know what does? You. Ur personality. The way u know how to treat her right which u continue to do till this day. Ur sense of humour. Banter. U being ur goofy self that is the only thing that won't change.

Me and many other girl's I've asked if they would want a good looking boy who treats them like **** n has a dead personality or if they want a ordinary guy who treats her the way a man should. They've all said the ordinary looking guy. Ur looks and physique will not stay w u but what's in ur heart will that is what really matters. I know SO MANY pretty girls who chose the average not so good looking boy over the good looking boys. Why? Because the good looking ones r so full of themselves, immature and can't treat a woman right to save their lives. While the average ones r the sweetest. Now I'm not saying all good looking boys r like that (although all the good looking boys hv prolly had a cocky ****boy stage at SUM point surely lol) some may be nice. But that shouldn't matter because u are beautiful the way u r! And if a girl is looking past what a lovely person u r solely based on ur appearance then that's not UR problem! It has absolutely nothing to do w u. YOU ARE ******* PERFECT JUST THE WAY U R! So what if so and so has a six pack or is good looking? They aren't u they don't hv ur essence ur unique personality therefore they are not better than u or below u. Absolutely no one can be u, u r special and unique and beautiful and no one can just take that away from u so know ur value. Please LOVE URSELF! Love ursef first before u get in a relationship how can u love someone else if u can't even love urself. It's like trying to give someone money when ur broke asf (bad example but u get the idea right?). Ik it's a hard world we live in w social media comparing ourselves to literally everyone is so much easier now.

Plus, being "attractive" is literally a human concept. Imma take my friends for example. One of my friend's choses the most unattractive guys and goes omg he's so leng isn't he beautiful so on. And the guy's I think r attractive she's like he aint ****. It's all in the way u percieve someone. For one person u could be "ugly" because their concept or what they think is pretty doesn't align w u while another person's could and they could see u as the most beautifulest person they hv ever seen. Plus having a well built physique for example is not everything, ik a girl that likes skinny guys w no muscles just like that there's a guy out there for every girl. Who said having a well built body or being 6"0 is the key to attractiveness it's what's in those magazines and social media. People prefer different thing to just that and lets face the fact if every man was muscly and 6"0 it would be boring asf. I personally don't mind short guys because I'm like 4"11 (yes at my big age of 17) having a guy who's like 6"0 I wouldn't like at all because he's WAY to tall.

That was a lot. But the point im tryina make is be urself. U being u is enough. Remember love urself and be confident being u. No one else can be u bettee than urself. Hope this helped!
Reply 8
Original post by Anonymous
It gets me down that I don't have what most girls consider attractive traits like height, muscularity (I am hypogonadal), good looks, etc.

It is not that I wish to be vain or anything but like I would want my girl to love me physically as well if that makes sense.

Hey, firstly, I want to say that you need to be kind to yourself. It's easier said than done. There were times I covered my mirrors because I hated what I saw but you need to learn to be your own cheerleader because the first attractive trait everyone should work towards is self-love.

Secondly, there is so much truth to the saying 'different strokes for different folks'. You are perfect for many ladies out there. Not everyone wants a tall, muscular hulk. I saw your description of yourself and you sound perfect to me. To others, you might not be their taste because they like the stereotypical masculine look. But you'll always find someone who will want you as you are. I hated my looks so much but just the other day, a guy walked into a door because he was that stunned by the same features I degraded. Don't be so hard on yourself, please. Everyday, find something to compliment about yourself no matter how small it is. The right one for you will cherish all of you especially your looks.
Original post by Anonymous
It gets me down that I don't have what most girls consider attractive traits like height, muscularity (I am hypogonadal), good looks, etc.

It is not that I wish to be vain or anything but like I would want my girl to love me physically as well if that makes sense.


I have many of the typical traits that women find physically attractive (except big muscles - I cba with working out). The problem is when you have no charisma like me, it makes very little difference. There was a guy I envied back at university (about a decade ago!) who always got all girls. He was short and not particularly good looking, but Jesus, he had amazing charisma (and was at the centre of a huge social circle because of it). So you may envy the way I look, but if you were in my position, perhaps you'd envy the guys who can talk.

Solution: don't envy and just focus on being a better person and what you're good at.
Reply 10
Everyone has to play the hand they’re given to the best of their ability. The fortunate few where everything land on the plate are the minority
Reply 11
Original post by cbreezyy_17
Hey I'm a girl and I wanted to say that at the end of the day when ur old and wrinkly u won't be so tall instead u'll prolly have a curved back and muscles will be replaced w a skinny skeletony body. Good looks? Wrinkly skeleton old face. Such things don't last but u know what does? You. Ur personality. The way u know how to treat her right which u continue to do till this day. Ur sense of humour. Banter. U being ur goofy self that is the only thing that won't change.

Me and many other girl's I've asked if they would want a good looking boy who treats them like **** n has a dead personality or if they want a ordinary guy who treats her the way a man should. They've all said the ordinary looking guy. Ur looks and physique will not stay w u but what's in ur heart will that is what really matters. I know SO MANY pretty girls who chose the average not so good looking boy over the good looking boys. Why? Because the good looking ones r so full of themselves, immature and can't treat a woman right to save their lives. While the average ones r the sweetest. Now I'm not saying all good looking boys r like that (although all the good looking boys hv prolly had a cocky ****boy stage at SUM point surely lol) some may be nice. But that shouldn't matter because u are beautiful the way u r! And if a girl is looking past what a lovely person u r solely based on ur appearance then that's not UR problem! It has absolutely nothing to do w u. YOU ARE ******* PERFECT JUST THE WAY U R! So what if so and so has a six pack or is good looking? They aren't u they don't hv ur essence ur unique personality therefore they are not better than u or below u. Absolutely no one can be u, u r special and unique and beautiful and no one can just take that away from u so know ur value. Please LOVE URSELF! Love ursef first before u get in a relationship how can u love someone else if u can't even love urself. It's like trying to give someone money when ur broke asf (bad example but u get the idea right?). Ik it's a hard world we live in w social media comparing ourselves to literally everyone is so much easier now.

Plus, being "attractive" is literally a human concept. Imma take my friends for example. One of my friend's choses the most unattractive guys and goes omg he's so leng isn't he beautiful so on. And the guy's I think r attractive she's like he aint ****. It's all in the way u percieve someone. For one person u could be "ugly" because their concept or what they think is pretty doesn't align w u while another person's could and they could see u as the most beautifulest person they hv ever seen. Plus having a well built physique for example is not everything, ik a girl that likes skinny guys w no muscles just like that there's a guy out there for every girl. Who said having a well built body or being 6"0 is the key to attractiveness it's what's in those magazines and social media. People prefer different thing to just that and lets face the fact if every man was muscly and 6"0 it would be boring asf. I personally don't mind short guys because I'm like 4"11 (yes at my big age of 17) having a guy who's like 6"0 I wouldn't like at all because he's WAY to tall.

That was a lot. But the point im tryina make is be urself. U being u is enough. Remember love urself and be confident being u. No one else can be u bettee than urself. Hope this helped!

Sadly not enough women have this mindset though.

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