20 year old starting uni?
I’m currently 19, just graduated and this year I have to take a gap year (for circumstances out of my control).
I’ve been pretty upset about it for weeks, as I always expected I’d start straight after, have the time of my life yada yada but I have to put that on hold for a whole year. Not only that, but maybe put it on hold for the rest of my college life because I’ll be so much older compared to most people in my year who’ll be 18-19 while i’ll turn 21 mid academic year (bar the odd mature student who’ll probably also be out of my age range)
I’m already stressing over next year… they say uni will be your best years but they’ve already been destroyed for me. This might sound dramatic but I had a pretty **** time throughout school so I’m feeling awful that this had to be continued once again and follow me for the rest of my life. I graduated with no friends, I’ve never even kissed a guy. I thought that would all change in uni but now it’s completely out of my reach…
I’ve been crying every day. I hate this. I hate my life, I’ll never have normal experiences or memories of my younger years. It’s like I’ll always be destined to be isolated and cooped up in my room.
I’ve been pretty upset about it for weeks, as I always expected I’d start straight after, have the time of my life yada yada but I have to put that on hold for a whole year. Not only that, but maybe put it on hold for the rest of my college life because I’ll be so much older compared to most people in my year who’ll be 18-19 while i’ll turn 21 mid academic year (bar the odd mature student who’ll probably also be out of my age range)
I’m already stressing over next year… they say uni will be your best years but they’ve already been destroyed for me. This might sound dramatic but I had a pretty **** time throughout school so I’m feeling awful that this had to be continued once again and follow me for the rest of my life. I graduated with no friends, I’ve never even kissed a guy. I thought that would all change in uni but now it’s completely out of my reach…
I’ve been crying every day. I hate this. I hate my life, I’ll never have normal experiences or memories of my younger years. It’s like I’ll always be destined to be isolated and cooped up in my room.
Hi there,
Oh, you sound right down in the dumps, I know its easy for me to say but it really will get better for you soon from here. Everything is going to work out just fine. It really will, you see.
Firstly, let me put your mind at rest on the age thing. Forget about that, you are making something out of nothing, seriously, 21 at university is absolutely nothing. You are worrying totally unnecessarily, honestly, the universities attract a whole range of different students, many starting at all kinds of ages. Students have gap years out and due to covid some have had additional years out, others have delayed again due to grade resits and numbers, but frankly, at 20 its just typical, you will get along great with others, you will mix in just fine, plus many look older than they are and nobody but nobody cares. Your age is really not a problem. You are worrying totally unnecessarily on that front. Its going to be brilliant, you will love it.
Secondly, you have had a few knocks, hey that’s life. Think of it as character building! Nothing has been destroyed here, stop stressing, you are talking yourself down and down into a hole. Stop it now. You have everything in front of you. You really do. It gets better from here.
Now you can’t change the past, only what you do going forwards. I’m sorry to hear about your school experience but University is NOT school. School kids can be plain horrid, immature and not everyone has a good school experience. Personally, I hated school, couldn’t wait to leave. You are going onto university is NOT a continuation of same, so please remove that thought, its just not the same and you will build a great new experience from here and starting next September will arrive quicker than you think.
You will build good memories soon, you won’t be cooped up in your room, you’re going to university next September, if you can use this time to try and find some part time work you can earn some extra money to take with you when you go. If not, try and find some short courses or interests to occupy your time.
Finally, as for not kissing a guy yet, honestly, you have plenty of time for that! There are no hard and fast rules of what age you kiss someone and with Covid nobody has kissed anyone in the last couple of years!! Bury that negative thought. You have loads of time for all of that. There are loads of 21 year olds not had boyfriends, you are not unique you know and trust me on this, when you do you will quickly learn guys can be a disappointment anyhow, lol but seriously you are still young and your really being hard on yourself, you have all this to come.
So good luck for next year. It’s all good from here. It really is. You got this, stay strong.
Oh, you sound right down in the dumps, I know its easy for me to say but it really will get better for you soon from here. Everything is going to work out just fine. It really will, you see.
Firstly, let me put your mind at rest on the age thing. Forget about that, you are making something out of nothing, seriously, 21 at university is absolutely nothing. You are worrying totally unnecessarily, honestly, the universities attract a whole range of different students, many starting at all kinds of ages. Students have gap years out and due to covid some have had additional years out, others have delayed again due to grade resits and numbers, but frankly, at 20 its just typical, you will get along great with others, you will mix in just fine, plus many look older than they are and nobody but nobody cares. Your age is really not a problem. You are worrying totally unnecessarily on that front. Its going to be brilliant, you will love it.
Secondly, you have had a few knocks, hey that’s life. Think of it as character building! Nothing has been destroyed here, stop stressing, you are talking yourself down and down into a hole. Stop it now. You have everything in front of you. You really do. It gets better from here.
Now you can’t change the past, only what you do going forwards. I’m sorry to hear about your school experience but University is NOT school. School kids can be plain horrid, immature and not everyone has a good school experience. Personally, I hated school, couldn’t wait to leave. You are going onto university is NOT a continuation of same, so please remove that thought, its just not the same and you will build a great new experience from here and starting next September will arrive quicker than you think.
You will build good memories soon, you won’t be cooped up in your room, you’re going to university next September, if you can use this time to try and find some part time work you can earn some extra money to take with you when you go. If not, try and find some short courses or interests to occupy your time.
Finally, as for not kissing a guy yet, honestly, you have plenty of time for that! There are no hard and fast rules of what age you kiss someone and with Covid nobody has kissed anyone in the last couple of years!! Bury that negative thought. You have loads of time for all of that. There are loads of 21 year olds not had boyfriends, you are not unique you know and trust me on this, when you do you will quickly learn guys can be a disappointment anyhow, lol but seriously you are still young and your really being hard on yourself, you have all this to come.
So good luck for next year. It’s all good from here. It really is. You got this, stay strong.
I started uni at 20. And honestly not one person gave a ****. I stayed in uni until I was 26. Who cared? Who mocked me? No one.
I went back to uni (KCL) in 2020 to ride out the pandemic. Now I'm at Cambridge, who cares?
I went back to uni (KCL) in 2020 to ride out the pandemic. Now I'm at Cambridge, who cares?
(edited 2 years ago)
20 is still a baba, still can't drink in all the bars 
I started uni at 20. Honestly nobody could tell at all. Can you tell the difference between someone 18-19 and someone who is 20? Of course not! If you don't tell anybody, they'll never know, and even if you do tell them nobody will care.
You'll still be able to have a great time. Please do try not to be too upset about it.
You'll still be able to have a great time. Please do try not to be too upset about it.
Original post by fifimarijuanapot
I’m currently 19, just graduated and this year I have to take a gap year (for circumstances out of my control).
I’ve been pretty upset about it for weeks, as I always expected I’d start straight after, have the time of my life yada yada but I have to put that on hold for a whole year. Not only that, but maybe put it on hold for the rest of my college life because I’ll be so much older compared to most people in my year who’ll be 18-19 while i’ll turn 21 mid academic year (bar the odd mature student who’ll probably also be out of my age range)
I’m already stressing over next year… they say uni will be your best years but they’ve already been destroyed for me. This might sound dramatic but I had a pretty **** time throughout school so I’m feeling awful that this had to be continued once again and follow me for the rest of my life. I graduated with no friends, I’ve never even kissed a guy. I thought that would all change in uni but now it’s completely out of my reach…
I’ve been crying every day. I hate this. I hate my life, I’ll never have normal experiences or memories of my younger years. It’s like I’ll always be destined to be isolated and cooped up in my room.
I’ve been pretty upset about it for weeks, as I always expected I’d start straight after, have the time of my life yada yada but I have to put that on hold for a whole year. Not only that, but maybe put it on hold for the rest of my college life because I’ll be so much older compared to most people in my year who’ll be 18-19 while i’ll turn 21 mid academic year (bar the odd mature student who’ll probably also be out of my age range)
I’m already stressing over next year… they say uni will be your best years but they’ve already been destroyed for me. This might sound dramatic but I had a pretty **** time throughout school so I’m feeling awful that this had to be continued once again and follow me for the rest of my life. I graduated with no friends, I’ve never even kissed a guy. I thought that would all change in uni but now it’s completely out of my reach…
I’ve been crying every day. I hate this. I hate my life, I’ll never have normal experiences or memories of my younger years. It’s like I’ll always be destined to be isolated and cooped up in my room.
I started uni at 23 on a 5-year course.
Nobody cares how old you are, I don’t think I was ever asked either. Everyone is too stressed focussing on money and study problems.
Societies and socialising in general is for winding down and taking your mind off all your new stressful responsibilities. Nobody wants to make that difficult too.
Hi there!
I started university at the age of 21 last year. You don't actually count as mature student yet I believe! (in university)
I understand completely how you feel, going into my first semester I was like oh great everyone is going to be sooo young and i'll feel old trying to join in with freshers, making friends etc.
Well i was completely wrong! You quickly realise 20 isn't a big age gap at all. The variety of age ranges at universities is vast. We ranged from 18-35 on my Psychology course! You find a lot of people do actually defer for a year following college and don't start uni until 20, which of course is only a year difference, sometimes just a school year difference.
I found I was a bit hesitant talking to people at first, but you've just got to immerse yourself within your peers. There was a couple jokes being in your 20's is old but nothing serious, but most of them have turned 20 this year haha and I just say welcome to the club. I haven't had issues making friends. I found everyone was so easy to get on with regardless of age, whether younger or older. At the end of the day you're all there with the same interests and passion for whatever degree you're studying so of course you will get on!
People never really ask your age, you forget you normally still look 18/19 at 21, aging hasn't really set in yet
Freshers is full of 2nd/3rd/Msc/PhD students too, so theres always a mixed bag, but mainly it's still fun! I went to fresher nights out again this year (as a 2nd year).
The only small difference is that an 18 year old can go out every single night and still turn up to lectures, and I can manage 1/2 nights out a week with a couple days recovery lol.
I hope you settle in well, you'll be fine I promise.
Lauren -Official Student Rep
I started university at the age of 21 last year. You don't actually count as mature student yet I believe! (in university)
I understand completely how you feel, going into my first semester I was like oh great everyone is going to be sooo young and i'll feel old trying to join in with freshers, making friends etc.
Well i was completely wrong! You quickly realise 20 isn't a big age gap at all. The variety of age ranges at universities is vast. We ranged from 18-35 on my Psychology course! You find a lot of people do actually defer for a year following college and don't start uni until 20, which of course is only a year difference, sometimes just a school year difference.
I found I was a bit hesitant talking to people at first, but you've just got to immerse yourself within your peers. There was a couple jokes being in your 20's is old but nothing serious, but most of them have turned 20 this year haha and I just say welcome to the club. I haven't had issues making friends. I found everyone was so easy to get on with regardless of age, whether younger or older. At the end of the day you're all there with the same interests and passion for whatever degree you're studying so of course you will get on!
People never really ask your age, you forget you normally still look 18/19 at 21, aging hasn't really set in yet
Freshers is full of 2nd/3rd/Msc/PhD students too, so theres always a mixed bag, but mainly it's still fun! I went to fresher nights out again this year (as a 2nd year).The only small difference is that an 18 year old can go out every single night and still turn up to lectures, and I can manage 1/2 nights out a week with a couple days recovery lol.
I hope you settle in well, you'll be fine I promise.
Lauren -Official Student Rep
Original post by fifimarijuanapot
I’m currently 19, just graduated and this year I have to take a gap year (for circumstances out of my control).I’ve been pretty upset about it for weeks, as I always expected I’d start straight after, have the time of my life yada yada but I have to put that on hold for a whole year. Not only that, but maybe put it on hold for the rest of my college life because I’ll be so much older compared to most people in my year who’ll be 18-19 while i’ll turn 21 mid academic year (bar the odd mature student who’ll probably also be out of my age range)I’m already stressing over next year… they say uni will be your best years but they’ve already been destroyed for me. This might sound dramatic but I had a pretty **** time throughout school so I’m feeling awful that this had to be continued once again and follow me for the rest of my life. I graduated with no friends, I’ve never even kissed a guy. I thought that would all change in uni but now it’s completely out of my reach…I’ve been crying every day. I hate this. I hate my life, I’ll never have normal experiences or memories of my younger years. It’s like I’ll always be destined to be isolated and cooped up in my room.
how is uni is it better than you thought im struggling too im supposed to start in september and already 20 years old x
I started uni at 20 and one of my closest friends was 25, the rest 18 and then I realised the course wasn’t for me so I dropped out and I’m doing an Access HE and going back to uni at 22. There’s people of all ages it’s not a big deal at all
I'll be turning 21 in the first week, failed all my gcses and had to start on a level 1 course. 20 isn't old at all, ur still gonna be on the younger end in ur course.
Original post by fifimarijuanapot
I’m currently 19, just graduated and this year I have to take a gap year (for circumstances out of my control).
I’ve been pretty upset about it for weeks, as I always expected I’d start straight after, have the time of my life yada yada but I have to put that on hold for a whole year. Not only that, but maybe put it on hold for the rest of my college life because I’ll be so much older compared to most people in my year who’ll be 18-19 while i’ll turn 21 mid academic year (bar the odd mature student who’ll probably also be out of my age range)
I’m already stressing over next year… they say uni will be your best years but they’ve already been destroyed for me. This might sound dramatic but I had a pretty **** time throughout school so I’m feeling awful that this had to be continued once again and follow me for the rest of my life. I graduated with no friends, I’ve never even kissed a guy. I thought that would all change in uni but now it’s completely out of my reach…
I’ve been crying every day. I hate this. I hate my life, I’ll never have normal experiences or memories of my younger years. It’s like I’ll always be destined to be isolated and cooped up in my room.
I’ve been pretty upset about it for weeks, as I always expected I’d start straight after, have the time of my life yada yada but I have to put that on hold for a whole year. Not only that, but maybe put it on hold for the rest of my college life because I’ll be so much older compared to most people in my year who’ll be 18-19 while i’ll turn 21 mid academic year (bar the odd mature student who’ll probably also be out of my age range)
I’m already stressing over next year… they say uni will be your best years but they’ve already been destroyed for me. This might sound dramatic but I had a pretty **** time throughout school so I’m feeling awful that this had to be continued once again and follow me for the rest of my life. I graduated with no friends, I’ve never even kissed a guy. I thought that would all change in uni but now it’s completely out of my reach…
I’ve been crying every day. I hate this. I hate my life, I’ll never have normal experiences or memories of my younger years. It’s like I’ll always be destined to be isolated and cooped up in my room.
Sweetheart, i started uni at 21 x it’s gonna be fine, go with the flow and follow your heart❤️
Original post by fifimarijuanapot
I’m currently 19, just graduated and this year I have to take a gap year (for circumstances out of my control).
I’ve been pretty upset about it for weeks, as I always expected I’d start straight after, have the time of my life yada yada but I have to put that on hold for a whole year. Not only that, but maybe put it on hold for the rest of my college life because I’ll be so much older compared to most people in my year who’ll be 18-19 while i’ll turn 21 mid academic year (bar the odd mature student who’ll probably also be out of my age range)
I’m already stressing over next year… they say uni will be your best years but they’ve already been destroyed for me. This might sound dramatic but I had a pretty **** time throughout school so I’m feeling awful that this had to be continued once again and follow me for the rest of my life. I graduated with no friends, I’ve never even kissed a guy. I thought that would all change in uni but now it’s completely out of my reach…
I’ve been crying every day. I hate this. I hate my life, I’ll never have normal experiences or memories of my younger years. It’s like I’ll always be destined to be isolated and cooped up in my room.
I’ve been pretty upset about it for weeks, as I always expected I’d start straight after, have the time of my life yada yada but I have to put that on hold for a whole year. Not only that, but maybe put it on hold for the rest of my college life because I’ll be so much older compared to most people in my year who’ll be 18-19 while i’ll turn 21 mid academic year (bar the odd mature student who’ll probably also be out of my age range)
I’m already stressing over next year… they say uni will be your best years but they’ve already been destroyed for me. This might sound dramatic but I had a pretty **** time throughout school so I’m feeling awful that this had to be continued once again and follow me for the rest of my life. I graduated with no friends, I’ve never even kissed a guy. I thought that would all change in uni but now it’s completely out of my reach…
I’ve been crying every day. I hate this. I hate my life, I’ll never have normal experiences or memories of my younger years. It’s like I’ll always be destined to be isolated and cooped up in my room.
Hi! I'm so sorry to hear that you're feeling like this. I took a gap year and went to uni around your age, and I loved both my gap year and uni! No one at uni minds if you're slightly older, I found that I really valued the maturity and experience I gained in my gap year, and no one said anything about me being older. Please don't feel like you're behind or that you have made any irreversible mistakes, just make the most of your gap year!
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