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    I'm aware that gay men as a group are at greater risk of many STI's because of the higher frequency of anal sex within the group and because oral sex on a man poses a greater risk of STI transmission then on a women.

    I have never had unprotected sex but have had my self tested at the GUM clinic for peace of mind, i know that I'm clear of everything. When I was last tested they highlighted the fact that 1 in 10 men have HIV and that it is the second most common STI amongst gay men. Plus someone I know contracted HIV. This all really shocked me and I haven't been able to have sex since, it has been 18 months now! I really am begining to miss sex and the feeling of being close to someone. The problem is that I'm moving around alot at the moment, haven't met anyone and am not able to enter into anything serious anyway. So getting someone tested before hand is not an option.

    One of my ex partners has pretty much hinted that he would be up for some fun, in all honesty I'm tempted as it has been so long. I really am not sure how much risk I am at of contracting anything (say he did have something, he has never been too good at getting himself tested) if I use a condom? I'm really too embarssed to discuss this at the GUM or with my GP. All I really want to do is make sure that I'm SAFE, is that possible or is there always a risk that I may contract something? I'm thinking that I may just have to wave good bye to sex forever Your advice would be appreciated.
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    What? That's a stupid statistic unless you're in London, where there's some stupid underground movement of guys who deliberately get it and shag around within that social circle (******* nuts!). It *is* a lot higher in the gay community, although it's becoming less likely to be contracted - most gay guys who aren't self-destructive nutters get tested and the statistic is pushed up by people who contracted it in the 80s, when no protection was ever used and it was pretty rife. It's a one in two thousand chance from receptive oral I think, it's all on wiki.

    There's a one in two hundred chance of contracting HIV through unprotected receptive anal sex. Since it's pretty unlikely your friend will have it and you'll be protected, that chance is so small it doesn't really matter. And even if you DID get it, it's not a death sentance anymore and can even be dealt with reasonably well if you know you've been exposed - there are drugs you can take to stop it taking hold.

    Tbh, with all that in your favour, you're much more likely to die in a car crash tomorrow. Be aware of the risks, act sensibly, but don't make it stop you living.
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    I can understand that you might be nervous but as long as you are sensible there is no reason that you should stop having sex. The risks if you correctly use a condom and a water based lubricant (to reduce the chance of splitting) are low. You don't need to abstain from sex just make sure that you are safe
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    Thanks for the advice guys, I will always be sensible .
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    as long as you use a condom you are really at very low risk of contracting anything. You really shouldnt let what happened to your friend affect your sex life. Know the risks, get tested annually. you should be fine
 
 
 
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