Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

How many asian women intend to get married to an asian or non asian? Watch

    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    The reason behind marrying an Asian person is this:

    I generally conform to Asian culture.
    I get on well with people who are similar to me.
    I want my future partner to be similar to me, so that I get on well with them.
    I want my future partner to generally conform to Asian culture.
    Most people who conform to Asian culture are Asian.

    To me it doesn't sound all that shallow. Although it's only because the probability of finding a good match with an Asian person is higher than with anyone else, by this logic. What I find shallow is when people automatically assume that a non-Asian person will not make a good match, and disregard them at a first glance. I'm personally not planning to marry someone Asian myself, because I've lived in this country all my life, and identify more with English culture, mostly. And people who have been brought up here generally can identify with the same culure as me, so it doesn't really matter what race they are. But for this reason, I probably wouldn't marry an African tribeswoman, because it's doubtful that we're going to have anything in common.

    Asian parents often want their children to marry Asian people because non-Asian people are somewhat alien to them. They stereotype white people, thinking that in this country, they sleep around and get divorced, and they don't want their own child to get involved with such behaviour. (To be fair, this does happen a lot more often with white people than asian people). As such, they find it more difficult to trust them.

    And some also want their children to marry Asian people, because all their friend's and relatives have married Asian people (by the logic I wrote above), and they don't want their child looking out of place. Because then, everyone else will notice, and start stereotyping the white person which their child has married.

    And the parents have a big influence on who their child marries, because the child isn't deemed to be able to make an objective decision. The child is just going to marry whoever they fancy, or fall in love with. Whereas the parents are going to choose someone who they think will make a suitable, long-lasting spouse for their child in the long term.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    does it matter who is advanced and who isnt
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    How many asians are getting an arranged marriage?
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Nu Ordah!!!!!!!!!!!!)
    utter ********. even as an anglo i can categorically say thats ridiculous
    Mate, its the truth. Even within The West there are more advanced countries socially, I mean.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by tazarooni89)
    The reason behind marrying an Asian person is this:

    I generally conform to Asian culture.
    I get on well with people who are similar to me.
    I want my future partner to be similar to me, so that I get on well with them.
    I want my future partner to generally conform to Asian culture.
    Most people who conform to Asian culture are Asian.

    To me that doesn't sound all that shallow. Although it's only because the probability of finding a good match with an Asian person is higher than with anyone else, by this logic. What I find shallow is when people automatically assume that a non-Asian person will not make a good match, and disregard them at a first glance.

    Asian parents often want their children to marry Asian people because non-Asian people are somewhat alien to them. They stereotype white people, thinking that in this country, they sleep around and get divorced, and they don't want their own child to get involved with such behaviour. (To be fair, this does happen a lot more often with white people than asian people). As such, they find it more difficult to trust them.

    And some also want their children to marry Asian people, because all their friend's and relatives have married Asian people (by the logic I wrote above), and they don't want their child looking out of place. Because then, everyone else will notice, and start stereotyping the white person which their child has married.

    And the parents have a big influence on who their child marries, because the child isn't deemed to be able to make an objective decision. The child is just going to marry whoever they fancy, or fall in love with. Whereas the parents are going to choose someone who they think will make a suitable, long-lasting spouse for their child in the long term.
    scrap my previous post answering this thread, thats exactly what i wanted to say,and you read my mind! :yep:
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Lucy Pevensie)
    You have to take into account economic and immigration/citizenship issues as well. Not everybody marries for love, some do to get british citizenship.

    Im gonna get so spanked for thiss, but I like straight talk.:yep:
    Not really tbh. Some would like to, but then have to find someone willing who has citizenship over here, it's not that easy, us British Asians are slightly more picky than the old ones.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by i_<3_you)
    does it matter who is advanced and who isnt

    No, but the topic of this thread means the argument has ended up taking that path. Any culture which does not accept inter-racial marriage is not advanced.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by KayleeLand)
    But why is it so important? Surely the persons qualities are what counts?

    I am very cultural, love other cultures and embrace the heritage of all. I am no less nor more than you - but why can we not date ?
    It's absolutely not about being better or worse- I'm not into ranking races against each other. It's about shared values, history, culture, expectations and ambitions.

    People are (un)attracted to others for a variety of reasons, and while most people will understand someone who would not want to date, lets say, an overweight person, why is it any more superficial to not want to date someone outside your cultural background?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Big Kabz)
    How many asians are getting an arranged marriage?
    i have a feeling i will :ninja: and i have nothing against it, and will be happy with whoever my parents chose for me. That will only happen if i dont find the right person when my time comes.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Why is the Asian community so afraid of a relationship with the very people they live on the same street with?
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Dirac Delta Function)
    It's absolutely not about being better or worse- I'm not into ranking races against each other. It's about shared values, history, culture, expectations and ambitions.

    People are (un)attracted to others for a variety of reasons, and while most people will understand someone who would not want to date, lets say, an overweight person, why is it any more superficial to not want to date someone outside your cultural background?

    What does being of the same cultural background give you? It doesnt give instant stability nor love.... I am bewildered by this thread.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by KayleeLand)
    Why is the Asian community so afraid of a relationship with the very people they live on the same street with?
    It's a two-way streak. If I walk down the street in particular areas of the city, I get funny looks from white people.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    No arranged marriage for me, I don't 'intend' to marry any particular race.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by KayleeLand)
    Why is the Asian community so afraid of a relationship with the very people they live on the same street with?
    i have no idea... its probably to do with personal choice, and parents..... PARENTS play a big role in this, as does culture and relatives.
    thats what i think :ninaj:
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by srana)
    It's a two-way streak. If I walk down the street in particular areas of the city, I get funny looks from white people.
    OUR city! Give me an area then? I'd also like to say that it is really narrow-minded to label all races this way. I believe if the person is open minded, liberal and good-hearted, then race is irrelevant.

    I go to SParkhill/Soho Road/ Ladypool Road and feel welcome. I go to Handworth/ Aston, and feel slightly scared but welcome none the less. I would never crossed out a person as a potential partner just because of their race or not sharing the same cultural background.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by i_<3_you)
    i have no idea... its probably to do with personal choice, and parents..... PARENTS play a big role in this, as does culture and relatives.
    thats what i think :ninaj:
    Yeh parents are important, but I fail to understand why mommy and daddy should say who I sleep with
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    god people are completely missing the point here.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by KayleeLand)
    What does being of the same cultural background give you? It doesnt give instant stability nor love.... I am bewildered by this thread.

    Not love, obviously, but a sense of familiarity and "shared destiny" for want of a better phrase, and yes that does lead to stability, especially if expectations of what a relationship entails are on the same wavelength owing to shared cultural values. And I am more attracted to someone from the same background compared to someone who's not, ceteris paribus.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by KayleeLand)
    Yeh parents are important, but I fail to understand why mommy and daddy should say who I sleep with
    its how most of the asians are like. If i dont fall in love with anyone by the time im supposed to be getting married off then, ill go for arranged marriage. Mainly coz i know the person who gets chosen, is right for me, and i know my parents wont chose someone for me who isnt right. And i can say no if i want to. atm im happy with love and arranged marriage. and have nothing against them
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by KayleeLand)
    OUR city! Give me an area then? I'd also like to say that it is really narrow-minded to label all races this way. I believe if the person is open minded, liberal and good-hearted, then race is irrelevant.

    I go to SParkhill/Soho Road/ Ladypool Road and feel welcome. I go to Handworth/ Aston, and feel slightly scared but welcome none the less. I would never crossed out a person as a potential partner just because of their race or not sharing the same cultural background.
    HAHA, I live in/near one of the places you just said... glad we make you feel welcome. :p:

    Well, I cheated a bit, but I meant more Shirley/Solihull or so.

    Ultimately it's all down to how individuals act, you can't label everyone under one... uhhh, label.
 
 
 
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: November 15, 2008
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Has a teacher ever helped you cheat?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Write a reply...
    Reply
    Hide
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.